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    Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    It’s All Peachy

    , | St. Paul, MN, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body, Spouses & Partners

    (I work as a sales associate at a large chain bath product store that caters mostly to women. I am stationed at the front of the store, greeting customers and handing out shopping bags. A huge, tough-looking man walks into the store and looks around awkwardly. He looks like a motorcycle gang member from a movie: tattoos, leather, and a bandanna.)

    Me: “Hi! Welcome to [Store]. I’m [Name]. Can I help you find anything today?”

    Customer: *shifts uncomfortably* “Yeah, I need lotion and shower gel.”

    (I knew he felt as out of place as he looked so rather than just pointing, I walk him over to the largest display of bath products.)

    Me: “Are you shopping for someone special?”

    Customer: “Yeah. Me.”

    (He was pointedly not making eye contact with me so I allowed myself a split-second look of shock.)

    Customer: *mutters* “My girlfriend likes it when I smell like a peach.”

    (Needless to say, I walked around the entire store with him. I even introduced him to some new fruity fragrances!)

    Enough To Make You Cry

    | QC, Canada | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (I work in a hotel restaurant. A group of clients have been notoriously difficult, sending back dishes more than once for small details. On a particularly busy night, a waiter walks back into the kitchen and asks about a meal.)

    Waiter: “Does this dish contain onions? The client says he’s deadly allergic.”

    (Hearing this, the chef panics and asks the waiter to bring him to the client.)

    Chef: “Sir, are you all right? Do you have any medicine for your allergy? I’ll call the ambulance right away!”

    (The client is confused and worried.)

    Client: “What? No, I don’t have medicine. Why?”

    Chef: “You told the waiter you were deadly allergic to onions. You should have mentioned it earlier. There were some in the soup.”

    Client: “…oh. I just don’t like onions.”

    Needs To Screen Her Comments

    | VA, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Technology

    (While standing in line at a sandwich shop, I overhear two women talking about one of them getting a new iPad.)

    Woman #1: “Yeah, I got a new iPad. I got black this time because I usually always go with white.”

    Woman #2: “Ew, white is so much better than black. You should have gotten the white.”

    Woman #1: “No, I wanted to match the case I got it.”

    Woman #2: “Don’t you have bad eyes?”

    Woman #1: “Yeah?”

    Woman #2: “Well you should have gotten the white, not the black. Now you are not going to be able to see on it.”

    Woman #1: “When I say it’s black, I was referring to the casing it’s in, not the screen.”

    Woman #2: “Oh!”

    Not Quite Ringing True

    | England, UK | Extra Stupid, Health & Body

    (I have brought my friend into the hospital.)

    Doctor: “What seems to be the problem?”

    Friend: “I think I inhaled my nose ring…”

    Me: *trying not to laugh*

    Doctor: “Do you think you swallowed it?”

    Friend: “Uhm, yes. But I also feel a lump at the back of my throat…”

    Doctor: *does examination* “Okay, I can’t see anything but I’ll send you for an x-ray. When did this happen?”

    Friend: “Three days ago.”

    Doctor: “So you waited three days to get checked out when you thought you had a piece of metal stuck in your throat, yet you’re breathing, eating, and drinking fine for those three days?”

    Friend: “Yeah.”

    Doctor: “Okay, I’ll send you for an x-ray.”

    (Not surprisingly, the x-ray came back clear and almost everyone was trying to hold in their laughter!)

    Countering Those At The Counter

    | IN, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (I’m in line at the pharmacy. It’s been a long day, and I just want to pick up my prescription and go home. The customer in front of me has a basket full of groceries.)

    Customer: “I need to pick up my medicine! And I want to pay for my groceries here. I only have six things.”

    Pharmacist: “Sure, let me get those for you.”

    (The customer puts way more than six grocery items on the counter. I am beyond irritated at this point since she’s making me wait. As the pharmacist scans the groceries, however, I decide not to let it get to me. The wait isn’t that much longer, and I’m next in line anyway.)

    Pharmacist: “… and there you go. You’re all set. Have a nice evening!”

    Customer: “You too.”

    (The customer turns to go and notices me standing in line behind her.)

    Customer: *to me* “Excuse me.”

    Me: “Oh, it’s no problem—”

    Customer: “I SAID, EXCUSE ME. THE SIGN SAYS YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO WAIT FOR THE PHARMACIST, NOT CROWD AROUND THE PEOPLE AT THE COUNTER. YOU ARE IN MY WAY!”

    (She grabs her stuff and storms off in a huff, leaving both me and the pharmacist speechless.)

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