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    Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    From Mumble To Stumble To Rumble To Humble

    | USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Health & Body

    (I have an inner ear condition and am hearing impaired but not really to the degree that I need a hearing aid. An older woman approaches my line.)

    Me: “Hello! How are you today?”

    Customer: *mumbles while looking at the floor*

    Me: “Um… I’m sorry. What did you say?”

    Customer: *sighs and looks to the right, still away from me, mumbling again*

    Me: “Ah, okay.”

    (I ring up her items and tell her the total. She holds up three different cards and mumbles again, but I can read her lips to understand, ‘not enough.’)

    Me: “I’m sorry. I didn’t quite catch that. Did you say you want to use all three cards?”

    (She nods and rolls her eyes, then swipes the first card.)

    Me: “All right, and how much did you want on that one?”

    Customer: *mumbles into the card reader*

    Me: “I’m sorry. What did you say?”

    (She mumbles once more, but since this is the third time I asked her to repeat herself and I’m feeling embarrassed, I just let the transaction run through as if she was using one card because I have no idea how much she wanted on there. The card is, of course, declined and she shouts wordlessly.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Could you swipe it again, please? And I’m sorry, but how much did you say you wanted on that card?”

    (AGAIN she mumbles, with her head bowed so low I can’t even see her lips to try to read them. By that point, I’ve had enough.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but I really need you to speak up, please. I’m hearing impaired and you’re speaking rather softly. I can’t hear you at all.”

    Customer: “You lying b****!”

    Me: *taken aback* “Excuse me?!”

    Customer: “Lying about being deaf is no excuse for your irresponsibility! You’re young! You’re not deaf. If you were, you’d have an earpiece in! You just listen to your music too loud; all you kids do. Keep that up, and you WILL be deaf before long!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I have [inner ear condition]. I have constant, loud ringing in my ears. Several times per day I lose all hearing in one or both of my ears for anywhere between three seconds to three hours. You’re right; I’m most likely going to completely lose my hearing before I’m 40 because there’s no cure or real treatment for it beyond surgery that might not even work. So please, while I still can hear you at all, could you speak up just a little?”

    (The customer stares at me, red-faced and silent, for a few moments. Finally she swipes the card again and then looks at me.)

    Customer: *loudly* “I’d like $10 on this card, please.”

    Marrying Together Archaic Ideas

    | Australia | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Spouses & Partners

    (I have a long-time repeat client, old but quite nice. As I am finishing up going through the paperwork and vouchers for his identical biannual holiday with his wife, I inform him I won’t be able to assist with his next trip as I’d be on maternity leave but I’ll pass his file over to my manager and she’ll be quite happy to assist.)

    Client: *blank look* “But you’re not… married.”

    Me: “Well… no…?”

    Client: “How can you be going on maternity leave, then?”

    Me: “Because I’m having a baby?”

    Client: But you’re not MARRIED?!”

    Me: “Uh, I know, but I appear to be pregnant and as I am having a child I need maternity leave…”

    Client: “BUT. YOU’RE. NOT. MARRIED. How can you be PREGNANT?”

    (Every week for the next seven months he came into my office, sat in front of me, and implored me to go and get married, to anyone – maybe that man over there? – because I needed to be married to have a child. Well, I have a child and I’m still not married. Occasionally he goes back into my old store and asks if I’m married yet.)

    The Argument Has No Legs To Stand On

    , | Indianapolis, IN, USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body, Top

    (The marathon was earlier this morning. I am in line behind a customer who ran in it. The cashier is sitting down, while serving patrons.)

    Customer: “I don’t have time for this. My legs are killing me. I ran the marathon this morning, and you can’t even bother standing at a cash register for one day!”

    (The cashier wheels himself out from behind the register. It becomes clear he has no legs.)

    Cashier: “P***y.”

    Needed To Do A Double Take

    | Portland, OR, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body

    (I am an African American female who wears her hair in twists. A coworker of mine, who is also African-American and wears her hair in twists, comes downstairs from the ambulatory surgery unit.)

    Coworker: “Did you know we were twins?”

    Me: “Nope.”

    (She is at least six inches taller and forty pounds lighter than I am, and 20 years my senior.)

    Coworker: “Yep. This man says to me, ‘boy, you sure must get around.’ I say, ‘really?’ He says, ‘yeah, you were just at the x-ray desk.’ Then his wife says, ‘you bonehead; clearly there are two of THEM.’ Then he says, ‘well, then, they must be twins.’”

    (To this day, we greet each other as, ‘hey twin sista!’)

    Doesn’t Quite Have X-Ray Vision

    | Durant, OK, USA | Awesome Workers, Health & Body, Money

    (I am the customer in this story. About a month or so ago I hurt my leg at work. After a long, drawn out process I have been sent by a safety development worker to a clinic that specializes in x-rays instead of just going into the hospital. I show up at least 15 minutes early, fill out the paperwork they give me, and wait at least 30 minutes to be checked in, per the usual. They check my weight, height, and health conditions, and then I’m waiting in the little room. Another few minutes later the doctor comes in and looks me over, and then sends me to get my x-rays. I’m sent back to the room where the doctor meets up with me and gives me good news. At this point I am ready to head on home, in my over-eagerness I almost passed the nurse that needed to check me out.)

    Nurse: “Hold on. I need your name.”

    Me: “Oh sorry.” *gives my name*

    Nurse: *types into the computer* “Okay, that will be $113.”

    Me: “Uh, I… don’t have any money.”

    (At this point the woman who checked me in pipes up giving me an incredulous look.)

    Woman: “How could you come in here expecting not to pay? Everyone has to pay for visits.”

    Me: “Well, for one this was worker’s comp and two, I’m Choctaw Indian. The Nation covers my bills. I’ve never had to pay for clinic visits, ever! My safety development worker from Choctaw Nation told me to come here too.”

    Woman: “Choctaw Nation never sends people here.”

    Me: “Well they told me Dr. Grider’s urgent care clinic.”

    Woman: *pauses* “This isn’t Dr. Grider’s clinic.”

    Me: “… Oh.”

    Nurse: “He’s next door.”

    Me: “… Oh.”

    (I got checked out by the wrong clinic. I was mortified. They took my information anyway and ended up giving me my x-rays to take next door to where I was supposed to be 40 minutes before. If I had just looked next to the ‘Urgent Care’ clinic sign I would have seen the ‘Dr. Grider Orthopedics’ sign right alongside it. Gosh, ladies. I’m so, so, sorry for the trouble I caused!)


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