Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Filled With Creamy Justice
    (1,842 thumbs up)
  • July Theme Of The Month: Animal Madness!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    The Argument Has No Legs To Stand On

    , | Indianapolis, IN, USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body, Top

    (The marathon was earlier this morning. I am in line behind a customer who ran in it. The cashier is sitting down, while serving patrons.)

    Customer: “I don’t have time for this. My legs are killing me. I ran the marathon this morning, and you can’t even bother standing at a cash register for one day!”

    (The cashier wheels himself out from behind the register. It becomes clear he has no legs.)

    Cashier: “P***y.”

    Needed To Do A Double Take

    | Portland, OR, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body

    (I am an African American female who wears her hair in twists. A coworker of mine, who is also African-American and wears her hair in twists, comes downstairs from the ambulatory surgery unit.)

    Coworker: “Did you know we were twins?”

    Me: “Nope.”

    (She is at least six inches taller and forty pounds lighter than I am, and 20 years my senior.)

    Coworker: “Yep. This man says to me, ‘boy, you sure must get around.’ I say, ‘really?’ He says, ‘yeah, you were just at the x-ray desk.’ Then his wife says, ‘you bonehead; clearly there are two of THEM.’ Then he says, ‘well, then, they must be twins.’”

    (To this day, we greet each other as, ‘hey twin sista!’)

    Doesn’t Quite Have X-Ray Vision

    | Durant, OK, USA | Awesome Workers, Health & Body, Money

    (I am the customer in this story. About a month or so ago I hurt my leg at work. After a long, drawn out process I have been sent by a safety development worker to a clinic that specializes in x-rays instead of just going into the hospital. I show up at least 15 minutes early, fill out the paperwork they give me, and wait at least 30 minutes to be checked in, per the usual. They check my weight, height, and health conditions, and then I’m waiting in the little room. Another few minutes later the doctor comes in and looks me over, and then sends me to get my x-rays. I’m sent back to the room where the doctor meets up with me and gives me good news. At this point I am ready to head on home, in my over-eagerness I almost passed the nurse that needed to check me out.)

    Nurse: “Hold on. I need your name.”

    Me: “Oh sorry.” *gives my name*

    Nurse: *types into the computer* “Okay, that will be $113.”

    Me: “Uh, I… don’t have any money.”

    (At this point the woman who checked me in pipes up giving me an incredulous look.)

    Woman: “How could you come in here expecting not to pay? Everyone has to pay for visits.”

    Me: “Well, for one this was worker’s comp and two, I’m Choctaw Indian. The Nation covers my bills. I’ve never had to pay for clinic visits, ever! My safety development worker from Choctaw Nation told me to come here too.”

    Woman: “Choctaw Nation never sends people here.”

    Me: “Well they told me Dr. Grider’s urgent care clinic.”

    Woman: *pauses* “This isn’t Dr. Grider’s clinic.”

    Me: “… Oh.”

    Nurse: “He’s next door.”

    Me: “… Oh.”

    (I got checked out by the wrong clinic. I was mortified. They took my information anyway and ended up giving me my x-rays to take next door to where I was supposed to be 40 minutes before. If I had just looked next to the ‘Urgent Care’ clinic sign I would have seen the ‘Dr. Grider Orthopedics’ sign right alongside it. Gosh, ladies. I’m so, so, sorry for the trouble I caused!)

    The Hair Apparent

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (The manager calls me to the front of the store to deal with an angry customer: I had laminated her elementary school son’s photo collage. I should have realized something was up when I see the manager is smirking.)

    Customer: “You laminated one of your hairs in my son’s collage!”

    Me: “I really doubt it.”

    (I point out I am wearing a hat.)

    Customer: *now super angry* “Don’t contradict me. You have ruined this collage!”

    Me: “No, ma’am. I really don’t think that long blond hair is mine.”

    (I pull off my hat. I have a shaved head.)

    Customer: “Well, then, someone else must have put it there. Like her!” *points to a coworker with blond hair*

    Me: “Ma’am, I am the only person who has touched this order. This hair appears to be yours.”

    Customer: “Well… you should have never laminated the hair in then!”

    (I point to the order form where the customer has circled ‘as is’.)

    Customer: “Aaargh!” *storms out*

    Good Thing Stupid Isn’t Contagious

    | CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in an ObGyn office in lab follow up. I have the unfortunate job of calling patients for positive STD results.)

    Me: “Hello, may I speak to [Patient]?”

    Patient: “This is her.”

    Me: “I’m from Dr. [Name]‘s office . Before we proceed, I need to verify I am speaking with the patient. Can you verify this information?”

    (The patient proceeds to answer all verifying personal info.)

    Me: “I am calling about your test results. Your results for [STD] have come back positive. It is a common infection that can easily be treated by this antibiotic. Is there a pharmacy you would prefer it be called into?”

    Patient: “WTF?! YOUR TEST LIES! I know for a fact I can’t have this infection! You guys gave me birth control pills!”

    Me: “I understand that this can be a very hard news to hear, but you have tested positive and we need to treat you. When we give you birth control, we make it a point to let you know it will not protect you from STDs.”

    Patient: “Oh, I guess I missed that part. Does this mean he gave me diabetes, too?”

    Me: “No, diabetes is not sexually transmitted.”

    Patient: “I’m going to go see my regular doctor and get tested for it just in case.”


    Page 4/93First...23456...Last