Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

Dying To Get Some Service

| OH, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I am deathly allergic to strawberries. Ingesting even a tiny trace of strawberry sends me into anaphylactic shock, for which I keep an EpiPen on me. This instance occurs late one evening while I am in the back doing dishes after a late lunch break. Somehow, strawberry must have gotten into my food because I suddenly find my throat closing and my face and chest swelling. I frantically ask my coworker to call 911 before my throat closes all the way and I practically collapse. She injects my EpiPen, and as my airway begins to clear and the panic subsides slightly, I am able to hear an exchange happening through the headset.)

Customer: “…seriously? This ambulance is completely blocking the drive-thru lane. This is ridiculous. How am I going to be able to get out of here? Can I even still get my coffee?! UGH!”

Coworker: *with all the sarcasm she can muster* “Terribly sorry to inconvenience you, ma’am. We have an employee dying in the back room.”

Customer: “What? You’re just saying that!”

Coworker: *fed up* “Sorry, the drive-thru lane is closed right now. If you want coffee you’ll have to come inside.”

Customer: “This is TERRIBLE customer service! I’m NEVER coming back here! Ridiculous!”

(I hope she never does come back! Glad your coffee was more important than my LIFE, lady!)

Ensuring A Lack Of Insuring

| WI, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Money

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I would like to pick up my prescription.”

Me: “Okay, what is your last name?”

Customer: “[Name].”

Me: “I notice that we have not run insurance on this. Let me look into that.”

(I pull her up on the computer and notice we do not have any insurance information on file.)

Me: “We do not have insurance on file for you. Do you have insurance you would like us to bill?”

Customer: “Yes.”

(Usually the customer gets a card out so I give her some time, but she just stares at me waiting, so I ask:)

Me: “Do you have the card with you?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Right now this costs $89.75, but your insurance should bring that down. We will need the insurance information located on your card to bill them. Would you like some time to go get it?”

Customer: “It has never cost more than $5 before.”

Me: “Okay, hold on.”

(I look to see if we have another file for her that may have her insurance listed but none come up.)

Me: “I’m sorry we don’t have your insurance information. Have you filled with us or at another location? Or could it be under a different last name?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: *frustrated at this point* “Okay, then, there are a few options. You can find your insurance card and we can run it through, or you can pay the $89.75 and come back later with the insurance card for a refund. We have seven days to do a refund in store. After that we would have to send it to corporate and it could take several weeks.”

Customer: “”But it has never cost more than $5.”

Me: “I understand. I am sure the price will go down as soon as we get your insurance information. Would you like to go get your card?”

Customer: “I don’t have a card. I’ve never had a problem before.”

Me: “Where did you get your prescription last?”

Customer: “[Different pharmacy].”

Me: “We are not connected with them and cannot access their files.” *I give her the two options again*

Customer: “This is ridiculous; it should only be $5! You should have my insurance!”

Me: “Actually it is your responsibility to carry your insurance card. Most people carry them in their wallet.”

Customer: *walks away*

Coworker: “She must think your name tag says magician not technician.”

Not Quite Swimming In Emergencies

| Boise, ID, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Health & Body

(I work at the front desk of a pediatrician’s office during their evening hours. This call comes in around 4:30 pm.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Office]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, my daughter is incredibly sick I need to get her in right away.”

Me: “Of course. Can you tell me what is going on?”

Caller: “She is very congested, maybe a sinus or an ear infection. I’m worried about her breathing. I need to get her in as soon as possible. This is very urgent!”

Me: “I understand, but our providers have finished seeing patients for the day. We have a doctor on-call doctor who will be coming in this evening. I can schedule you for 6:30 pm if you are comfortable waiting until then.”

Caller: “Oh, no, that won’t work at all. She has swim lessons at six.”

The Test Is Inconclusive

| Bergen, Norway | Bizarre, Health & Body

(I work as a headmaster and one day drive to the local mall during lunch. One of the teachers asks to ride with me as she has an errand to run. When we get to the mall we split up, and then we meet up at the car a little later to go back to the school. The teacher is nine months pregnant when this happens.)

Teacher: *suddenly laughs, apparently for no reason*

Me: “What?”

Teacher: “I just realized why the shop assistant at the chemist was looking at me as if I am completely nuts!”

Me: “Why?”

Teacher: “Well, one of the girls in my class was really worried that she might be pregnant, and I offered to get a pregnancy test for her. So there I came, waddling in with my huge belly, and I asked where the pregnancy tests were. The look the guy gave me was priceless!”

An Automatic Autistic Response

| CA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Health & Body

(I work at a retail store. We are having a donation opportunity for the month of May where customers can donate money toward autism research. We are supposed to ask every customer if they would like to donate. I finish ringing this customers items up.)

Me: “And would you like to put a dollar towards autism research?”

Customer: “You know, kids would stop getting autism if they stopped all that vaccinating.”

Me: “…have a nice day, sir.”

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