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    Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    Sea Of Electricity

    | NV, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (I’m handing out inner tubes for a popular water slide. Several young men come up; one of them has a tattoo on his side that makes it look like his skin is peeling away to reveal mechanical inner workings. Shortly after they get in line, two little girls come up. They stare at the tattooed man for a few moments, and then one taps him on the leg.)

    Girl #1: “Are you sure you can go in the water?”

    Tattooed Man: “Uh… I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

    Girl #1: “But what about that?” *points to his tattoo* “My mommy says electric stuff can’t get wet.”

    Tattooed Man: *grinning* “Oh, don’t worry. I’m an underwater explorer robot. I’m built for that stuff.”

    Girl #2: “So you won’t break? Even if you get water all inside you?”

    Tattooed Man: “Nope!”

    Girls #1 & #2: *gaping at him* “Wow…”

    The Height Of Unreason

    | AZ, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Tourists/Travel

    (I’m running a ride that has a four-foot height limit, due to the speeds at which it spins and the types of harnesses used for the seats. A guest is waiting at the front of the line with his daughter, who is clearly too small to ride. I am resetting all of the safety locks for the next ride, and I hear my coworker talking to the guest.)

    Coworker: “Alright, sir, I’m going to have to double-check her height. I’m pretty certain she’s too small to ride.”

    Customer: “Oh she’ll be fine; I’ll be sitting with her.”

    Coworker: “No, sir, you can’t do that. I have to check her height.”

    (With a bit of a cross look on his face, he tells his daughter to stand next to the measuring pole. She’s a good six inches too short.)

    Coworker: “I’m sorry, sir; I can’t let her ride. She’s simply too small.”

    Customer: “Dude, seriously? I’m right here; I’ll be holding her the whole time.”

    Coworker: “I can’t let her ride.”

    (At this point, he’s holding up the line, and the customers behind him are getting impatient.)

    Customer: “Dude, it’s her birthday and we just waited for an hour to get on this ride. Just let her go this time.”

    Coworker: “My hands are tied. She can’t ride.”

    Customer: “I’m not moving. She’s going to ride.”

    (He pretty much has the attention of everyone in line by now. I come over.)

    Me: “Listen, sir, I need to get this line moving. Just let me get this straight: you’re telling me that you’re going to willingly endanger your daughter’s life for the low, low price of a ride pass? Fine, by all means.”

    (The man goes red in the face before wordlessly picking up his daughter and walking out of the line.)

    Inject Some Humor Into The Situation

    | USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

    (I am four years old, and in need of vaccinations. The nurse is babying me about it.)

    Me: “Just do it; I’m not scared.”

    (I have the vaccination with no problem.)

    Nurse: “Wow, you’re one of the toughest kids I’ve met.”

    Me: “Really? It’s nothing.”

    Nurse: “Oh, you are tough. Half of the kids your age come in crying.”

    Me: “Because they’re babies! I’m not.”

    Nurse: “Let me tell you something. I have a friend who is also a nurse. A 40-year-old man needed an injection and he cried for 10 minutes before he calmed down enough for her to inject him. And he cried after she stuck him too.”

    Me: “Really?!”

    Nurse: “Yeah. I wish he could have seen you.”

    Have A Heart (Attack)

    | SK, Canada | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Top

    (I work at a walk-in medical clinic located in a shopping center. It is about 20 minutes before closing and as a result, it’s only the doctor and I working. A man walks in complaining of chest pain, and goes into full cardiac arrest. I am in the back assisting the doctor for approximately 10 minutes as he stabilizes the patient and the paramedics arrive. Once the paramedics take over, I head for the front desk. There is a patient waiting.)

    Patient: “About d*** time! I have been waiting for five minutes!”

    Me: “I am sorry, ma’am. We had a patient in full cardiac arrest and the doctor required my assistance.”

    Patient: “That’s no excuse for bad service. I shouldn’t have had to wait that long. Now, I want to see a doctor.”

    Me: “Unfortunately, the doctor will be leaving with the patient and paramedics to go to the hospital. We have to close a few minutes early.”

    Patient: “This is ridiculous. I have a sore throat and I need to see a doctor. I demand I be seen before the doctor leaves. Whoever else can wait; I am leaving on a trip tomorrow, and must be seen today.”

    Me: “Ma’am, emergencies take precedence. A heart attack beats a sore throat. You either have to come back tomorrow, or seek care elsewhere.”

    Patient: “I don’t care about your excuses! I am a busy, important person, and need to see a doctor now!”

    (I have lost all patience. I am about to throw her out, when the paramedics start wheeling out the cardiac-arrest patient on the gurney, followed by the doctor.)

    Patient: *still yelling* “There, the doctor is right there. He can see me before he takes care of that lazy guy!”

    Doctor: “Tell you what: have a heart attack right now, and I will be happy to assist you. Otherwise, get your insensitive a** out of my clinic and don’t ever come back.”

    (The customer storms out, but actually tries to come back the next day. She is refused. The man makes a full recovery and sends flowers, gift cards and thoughtful notes to both the doctor and me for the help.)

    No Further Steps Were Taken

    | Wales, UK | Bizarre, Health & Body

    (Some of our storage space consists of large cupboards in the walls above our displays. I am standing at the top of a ladder checking a cupboard for stock, when I vaguely overhear an older woman talking to someone behind me.)

    Customer: “…see if he notices.”

    (The customer proceeds to shake the bottom of the ladder I’m standing on, then speaks to the man she is with.)

    Customer: “I wonder if he’ll get scared?”

    Me: “Um, hi. Did you want me to move the ladder out of the way?”

    Customer: “No, I was just wondering if you’d notice.”

    Me: “I did notice. And you’d certainly have noticed if I’d landed on your head…”


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