Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

Some People Can Drive In Their Sleep

| USA | Health & Body

(I’m working an evening shift. I notice a woman in line with her mouth open and eyes closed. I stare for just a moment before thinking she may be disabled and therefore I was being rude. After a moment, one of my associates comes over to me.)

Associate: “Do you see that woman?!”

Me: “Yeah… why? What’s up?”

Associate: “She’s messed up!”

Me: “Like… uh, how?”

Associate: “Like she passed out standing up. She dozed off… I was like ‘Ma’am?’ but I didn’t know what was going on. I wanted to ask her if she was okay but I didn’t want to be rude.”

Me: “Passed out?”

Associate: “Yeah, she freaked herself out when she woke up, too. She dropped all her stuff suddenly.”

Me: “What? Wow, um, I thought maybe she was autistic or some kind of disabled. Maybe she’s narcoleptic?”

Associate: “Or on drugs. I hope she’s okay. Should I ask? Would it be rude?”

Me: “I… I don’t know.”

(She eventually gets down to me at the register. Just as my associate had described, she dozed off standing up.)

Me: *softly* “Ma’am? … Um… ma- ma’am?”

(Her eyes flicker open softly. Her mouth still hanging open, she shuffles over to me, one of her eyes opened more than the other.)

Woman: “Heeeeeey!”

(She sounds aloof rather than sick.)

Me: *trying to sound polite and cheery* “Hello, ma’am! So, what did you have today?”

Woman: “Iiit’s, uhhhhhhhh, just aaaa turkeyyyy!”

(I finish the transaction.)

Woman: “Thaaanks!”

(She walks out.)

Associate: “See?!”

Me: “Yeah… she sounded more or less fine but she definitely passed out standing up.”

Associate: *looking out the window* “And she just tripped and fell outside.”

Me: “What?”

Associate: “She got up and walked off… but, yeah, she just straight up fell outside right out the door. I hope she didn’t drive here.”

Me: “Yikes…”

Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 10

| MI, USA | Health & Body

(I am a female employee that works the front desk of a body shop. I am currently seven-months pregnant, but because of the counter height, you can’t see my belly.)

Customer: “I think there is something wrong with the undercarriage of my car. Could you take a look?”

Me: “Let me get one of our estimators to take a look. It should just be a few minutes.”

Customer: “I don’t see why I should wait a few minutes when you’re standing around doing nothing. You can look at it.”

Me: “Ma’am, I am not a qualified estimator to look at your car, and I cannot be crawling around on the ground underneath a car. It should only be a few minutes until someone is available.”

Customer: “You are just being lazy! Get me your manager NOW. This is ridiculous!”

Manager: “What’s the problem, ma’am?”

Customer: “This girl is just being lazy! She refuses to help me, I know she that she knows what she’s doing, and she just refuses to do it!”

Manager: “Well… morning sickness will do that to you.”

Customer: “What are you talking about? I just want her to look under my car!”

(I walk around the counter so the customer can see my obviously pregnant belly.)

Customer: *red face* “Well, uh, I mean, whatever. I’ll go sit in the waiting room.”

Related:
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 9
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 8
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 7

Enough To Furrow Your Brows

| USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Rude & Risque

(I’m a transporter pushing patients to surgery. I pick up a 17-year-old boy with his family. They’re all nervous, but the boy deals with his anxiety by being rude to his parents. He starts in on the vertical creases between his dad’s eyebrows.)

Boy: “Ha! That looks like a [crude term for female genitalia]. You’ve got a [kitty cat] on your forehead!”

(He goes on like this for several minutes as his profanity gets worse and worse.)

Mom: *finally* “Stop it! You’re embarrassing me and the transporter!”

Boy: *belligerent* “Why? She’s got one!”

(I’ve finally had enough. I lean down and tell him, loud enough for his parents to hear:)

Me: “You keep using language like that and that’s as close to a real one as you’ll ever get.”

(There was stunned silence from the entire family. Then the parents started cracking up.)

Blisteringly Stupid Question

| Orlando, FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Tourists/Travel

Driver: *after the fill-up* “Can I ask you a question?”

Me: “Sure.”

Driver: “It’s about my husband. We were on the beach today and he got sunburned.”

Me: “Uh-huh.”

Driver: “What should I do to make him feel better?”

Me: “Well, aloe lotions are good. If it’s really painful, though, use lidocaine.”

Driver: “But he’s got blisters.”

Me: “Get him to the hospital! He’s got second-degree burns!”

Driver: “Oh, I couldn’t do that. He hates hospitals.”

Me: *stunned silence*

Canadian Hair-itage

| Buffalo, NY, USA | Canada, Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(I am getting my eyebrows threaded; while in the chair, I hear this exchange between an employee and another customer.)

Customer: “How much to thread [facial area I didn’t see]?”

Employee: “Ten dollars.”

Customer: “But I don’t have that much hair there, can I get a discount?”

Employee: “I’m sorry ma’am, it’s a flat rate; it’s ten dollars no matter how much hair you have.”

Customer: “But I’m Canadian.”

Employee: “…”

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