Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

You’re Not Allowed To Get Sick On Sundays

| Athens, OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body

(I work as a telephone operator at a small hospital in a college town. I have received this call numerous amounts of times while working there.)

Me: “Hello! Thank you for calling [Hospital]. How may I direct your call?”

Caller: “Hi, what time do ya’ll close?”

Me: “Umm, ma’am/sir, the hospital never closes.”

(Most people don’t realize that yes, there are people at the hospital all the time, and some even called to ask when the ER closed!)

Yet To Find Your Calling

| WI, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(I have an elderly patient that has been a little confused due to recent illness…)

Me: “Can I help you with something?”

Patient: “How the h*** should I know?!”

Me: “Well, you put on your call light…”

Patient: “Well, I’m confused! You’re the nurse; it’s your job to know what I need and just do it!”

Me: “Okay. I’ll return if I figure it out…”

The Argument Has No Legs To Stand On, Part 2

| NY, USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body

(The store where I work just hired a new employee. I am training her. We have a huge sale going on so she is running the second register next to me. A man steps up to her station, tossing a few car parts and a set of cards of the table.)

Trainee: “Hi there, did you find everything all right?”

Customer: “Fine. How much?”

Trainee: *rings it all quickly* “$82.69”

Customer: “What? Where is my military discount!” *he picks up one of the cards and waves it at her*

Trainee: “I’m sorry, because of the sale we can’t add more discounts.”

Customer: “I fought for this country. I got f****** shot at. I am not paying full price.”

Me: “Sir, that isn’t full price. You can either have the 20% Military discount or the 40% sale discount. We gave you the larger discount.”

Customer: “Have you ever been shot at? No. The hardest part of your day is counting change. And you probably get paid almost as much as I do. I nearly died to protect your stupid a** so I deserve my discount. My money is worth more than yours. This dumb b**** is going to give me what I earned!”

Trainee: *casually removes prosthetic leg* “This dumb b**** disarmed bombs. What’s my money worth?”

Customer: *goes red and silently hands over card*

Trainee: “Would you like to donate to [Disabled Veteran’s Charity] today?”

Customer: “Twenty, ma’am.”

(The line set a new hourly record for donations.)

Related:
The Argument Has No Legs To Stand On

No Rush, Go Break A Leg!

| PA, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body

(My mom’s friend is a receptionist at a small medical clinic. When you call them, there is a message instructing you to call 911 or go to the emergency room immediately if this is an emergency, a fact which is greatly emphasized since some people tend to ignore that, followed by about two minutes of information in the event that it isn’t. My mom’s friend is talking to a patient when the phone rings and she can’t answer immediately.)

Friend: *into the phone* “Hello, please hold for a moment.”

Caller: “Okay, take your time. It’s not an emergency.”

(Five minutes later, she finally finishes talking and picks the phone back up.)

Friend: “[Medical Clinic], how may I help you?”

Caller: “So, my son just got hit by a car while crossing the street. He’s not dead, but he’s lying on the ground bleeding and I think his leg is broken. What do you think I should do?”

Shouldn’t Have Made A Meal Out Of It

| Leipzig, Germany | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I am working as an alternative worker in the endoscopy ward of our hospital. The rule here is that before the medical exam in our ward the patients are not allowed to eat for some hours. Another worker brings a new patient in her bed.)

Me: “What is her exam?”

Worker: “Endoscopy.”

Me: “Yes sure. Which kind of endoscopy?”

Worker: “Just endoscopy.”

Me: “Yes, I know. But which one? Gastroscopy? Colonoscopy?”

Worker: “Sorry. I don’t know more. They just told me to bring her to you.”

(I check the patient’s files and see that it is a gastroscopy. I inform the nurse.)

Me: “Okay. So you are for the gastroscopy?”

Patient: “Yes, young man. So I just ate spaghetti and now you are gonna stick a tube down my throat?”

Me: “Yes. Wait, did you said you just ate?”

Patient: “Yes, of course. I had spaghetti. Beautiful spaghetti. I just had them for lunch. And now I’m here.”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am. You are not allowed to eat before the examination.”

(I call the nurse and inform her who also confirms it with the patient.)

Nurse: “Yes, ma’am. You were informed about this, that you are not allowed to eat before the examination. We have to reschedule the medical exam. We will talk to the doctor about a new appointment. You will have to go back to your ward.”

Patient: “But it was spaghetti. Beautiful spaghetti!”

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