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    Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    Profit And Hair Loss

    | MN, USA | Awesome Customers, Health & Body, Money

    (We’ve had trouble keeping business up, as our location is right next to a larger chain. On a particularly slow day, I’m confused when I see a young man come in with his entire head shaved nearly flat.)

    Customer: “Excuse me; you may not still have me on file. I was here about 14 months ago.”

    (I look him up.)

    Me: “Yeah, you’re still on file; how can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Well, I didn’t know what to do with my dad’s hairline. It was starting to look like a bad comb over, and you guys convinced me to shave everything.”

    Me: “Yeah.”

    Customer: “Well, now that I have a razor and can do it myself, I realized that’s $14 a month you could be making. Can I just pay for a haircut, you don’t do anything, and you can just take the money?”

    (After blinking for a moment, I consult my manager, who clears the sale. The customer insists on full price.)

    Me: “Thanks, glad it worked out for you.”

    Customer: “Thanks a million. [Competitor] made it look like crap. I just felt bad, you know? You lose the rest of my sales because you actually know what the heck you’re doing.”

    (The customer even tipped well, which made our day. The other stylists and I were sharing the story all week.)

    Checking Him In And Checking Her Out

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Hotels & Lodging, Rude & Risque

    (I work at a hotel that caters to a branch of a hospital. I’m a larger-chested woman, and get frequent sexual harassment from guests.)

    Me: “As the hospital pays a portion of your stay, your grand total for the evening will be $44.40.”

    Guest: “That’s fine; I’d like to pay in cash.”

    Me: “Cash is acceptable, but we do ask that we get a credit card on file.”

    Guest: “Why the f*** do you need my credit card?”

    Me: “We need a credit card for incidentals or if by chance your stay is extended through the hospital.”

    Guest: “What the f*** is an incidental?”

    Me: “Incidentals would be damages or possible problems that may arise in the room.”

    Guest: “Do I look like I’d cause a f*****g problem?”

    Me: “Sir, I do not believe any of my guests would ever cause a problem; it’s just a precaution we must take. Now, I’d also ask that you refrain from using the f-word in the lobby.”

    Guest: “Listen, tits—”

    Me: “Sir, I kindly ask that you refrain from the vulgarities.”

    Guest: “You said I couldn’t say f***. You didn’t say nothin’ about tits!”

    Me: “That is a derogatory term in reference to my physical appearance. I will ask that you do not use that type of language in my lobby, or I will be forced to call the hospital and they will move you to a different establishment for the remainder of your stay.”

    Guest: “FIRST YOU TELL ME I HAVE TO USE A CREDIT CARD WHEN I F****** SAID I WAS PAYING CASH, AND NOW YOU’RE DENYING MY FREE SPEECH. DO YOU KNOW WHO OUR PRESIDENT IS, WHITE B****?!”

    Me: “Sir, I’ve asked you multiple times to correct your language and because of that last comment, you’ve now forced me to call the hospital as you are not welcome at our establishment.”

    Guest: “Whoa, whoa, whoa, sweet-cakes. I was just trying to make you angry. I love the way your boobs bounce when you get flustered and hold back.”

    (At that point my manager stepped in and told him to leave without even calling the hospital. Sick or not, no one has an excuse to openly sexually harass someone just trying to do their job.)

    Drive Flu

    | Austin, TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (I work at a pharmacy that has a drive-thru. We do flu shots and they are in high demand. We have never administered a flu shot at the drive-thru. A customer drives up to the window in her mini-van.)

    Me “Good afternoon! What can I help you with today?”

    Customer: “I would like to get the flu shot. Can you hurry because I have things to do.”

    Me: “I’m very sorry, but you will have to come inside for us to administer the shot. It won’t take more than five minutes.”

    Customer: “No! I don’t want to get out of my car. I’m in a hurry; I’m the customer and you have to do what I say, so you have to do it from here!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but it’s against the rules to do it at the drive-thru. I don’t think it would be very sanitary and I wouldn’t even be able to reach you from this window. You will need to come in. I promise it won’t take long.”

    (The customer puts her car into gear, so I figure she is coming inside so I close the window and walk away. As I walk away I hear a blaring car horn so I go back to the window.)

    Customer: “You have no right to deny me the shot! Are you trying to kill me? What if I get the flu and die? It would be your fault and you will go to jail for MURDER!”

    Me: “I’m not denying you the shot, ma’am. Like I said you will have to come inside; it’s the rules. Please move so I can help the other customers.”

    Customer: “NO, B****! I WANT THE SHOT RIGHT NOW AND I’M NOT COMING INSIDE! I’M NOT MOVING MY CAR UNTIL YOU HELP ME! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU ARE WASTING MY TIME! I HAVE THINGS TO DO! I AM THE CUSTOMER AND YOU HAVE TO HELP ME! GIVE IT TO ME NOW YOU LAZY B****!”

    Me: “No, you need to come inside. We can not administer a shot at a drive-thru window. We have never done it that way. If you come inside I will be able to help you and it will only take minutes. Please move your car so I can help other customers.”

    Customer: “NO! I’M NOT MOVING AND YOU BETTER NOT HELP ANYONE ELSE! I WAS HERE FIRST AND I DEMAND YOU GIVE ME THE SHOT FROM HERE! IF YOU DON’T GIVE ME THE SHOT I’M GOING TO HAVE YOU FIRED AND I WILL MAKE SURE YOU NEVER GET ANOTHER JOB IN THIS CITY!”

    Me: “For the last time, NO! If you don’t move your car, I’m going to call the police.”

    (I start helping the other customers. The customer continues to yell, flips me off and hits the gas. That’s when I hear a loud crash. I look to see that she had put her car in reverse by accident and slammed into the car behind her!)

    Enough To Get The Blood Pumping

    | QLD, Australia | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Health & Body

    (I’m working on the checkouts when a customer around her 30s approaches with a large trolley.)

    Me: “Hi, how are you?”

    Customer: “Fine.”

    (She starts loading her groceries onto the register and I start scanning. She then reaches into her bag to take something out. Not paying much attention, I continue scanning. The register belt moves closer to me and soon I see that she has placed a used sanitary pad on the register.)

    Me: “Uh… ma’am? Is that from you?”

    Customer: “Yes, why?”

    Me: “Would you mind removing it from my register?”

    Customer: “Why? Are you too lazy to throw it out yourself?”

    Me: “Ma’am, that is a serious health hazard. Besides that, it isn’t in my job description to clean up after customers. I’m not touching that; please get it off my register.”

    Customer: “I can’t believe how lazy you are!”

    (The customer grabs the pad, storms over to the bin and throws it away before coming back to pay for her groceries. She leaves without a word. I close down my register, and wash my hands a dozen times.)

    Has A Problem Espresso-ing Themselves, Part 5

    | Stamford, CT, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (I’m deaf in one ear, and what makes it worse at this time is that I have an ear infection. This makes it extremely difficult to take customer’s drinks correctly, especially if they are saying them very fast. I have only asked this customer once to repeat what the milk and syrup were.)

    Customer: “Why do they have the least experienced person taking orders? How many times do I have to repeat myself?!”

    Me: “I apologize, ma’am; I’m hearing impaired. I was only asking once again to make sure I charged you correctly and that your drink won’t be made wrong.”

    Customer: *flustered* “Well, then you should have to wear a sign or something to let people know that you can’t hear.”

    (The next customer in the queue chimes decides to chime in.)

    Next Customer: “Yeah, because the poor girl probably doesn’t feel embarrassed enough about having you yell at her and having to put up with a**holes like you.”

    Customer: “Excuse me?! How dare you! Forget my drink! I’ll just go somewhere else!”

    (The customer storms out.)

    Next Customer: “Wow, I’m so sorry about that. Do people normally act like that here?”

    Me: “She’s a regular…”

    Related:
    Has A Problem Espresso-ing Himself, Part 4
    Has A Problem Espresso-ing Himself, Part 3
    Has A Problem Espresso-ing Themself, Part 2
    Has A Problem Espresso-ing Herself


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