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    Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    Takes A Backbone To Stand Up For Yourself

    | Oklahoma City, OK, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Top

    (I am a 28-year-old female. I have just parked in a handicapped spot to go grocery shopping. I had surgery on my spine a month prior to this incident. I put my handicapped sticker up and exit my car when a random customer comes up to me.)

    Customer: “How dare you!”

    Me: “I beg your pardon?”

    Customer: “You should be absolutely ASHAMED of yourself! It’s young people like you who have NO respect for anything! Who do you think you are? Parking in a handicapped spot! You aren’t even handicapped! I bet you stole that from someone, and you are just using it so you won’t have to park farther away!”

    Me: “Well, actually ma’am, it’s my handicapped sticker. I—”

    Customer: “Yours? You’re perfectly healthy! You shouldn’t lie to people! LIARS GO TO HELL! I can tell just by LOOKING at you that you’re perfectly fine! You’re just lazy.”

    (I’m livid, but I try to keep my composure.)

    Me: “Actually, it is my handicapped sticker. As I was trying to tell you before you rudely interrupted me and started throwing around assumptions, I have Lupus, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Fibromyalgia, Sjogren’s Syndrome, and Degenerative Disk Disease. Furthermore, not all physical disabilities can be readily seen. This is the first time in a month that I’ve been well enough to get out of the house on my own since having my spinal fusion surgery last month. Next time, you should think before you speak, instead of just making random asinine assumptions about people you don’t know.”

    (The customer looks like a deer in the headlights. She turns bright red, and continues to mumble as she walks away. I get my shopping done, and see her as I’m checking out. Surprisingly, she apologizes profusely, and offers to help me load my groceries into my car.)

    Pay Attention

    | AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Health & Body

    (One of our registers has been closed all day, with plenty of signs to say so. A customer runs up to me with a heavy accent.)

    Customer: “Pay! I need to pay!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but this register is currently closed. The nearest open registers are—”

    Customer: *holds out a sweater to me* “Pay?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but this register is closed. The nearest open register is just down that way.”

    Customer: “No, no, I need to PAY!”

    Me: “Ma’am, this register is closed. Closed.” *I speak slowly* “I cannot work the register for you. They are locked. Only a manager can—”

    (The customer starts writhing around in a strange manner, with her sweater held over her stomach and her legs bowed together.)

    Customer: “Oh, I need to pay! So bad!”

    (One of my coworkers has a brainwave and comes up to the customer.)

    Coworker: “Excuse me, do you need a restroom? A bathroom?”

    Customer: *looks at my coworker cheerfully* “I can pay?”

    Coworker: “You need to… pee? A bathroom?”

    Customer: “Pay!”

    (The customer begins energetically following my coworker.)

    Coworker: “The bathrooms are just down this way; if you follow this aisle, turn left up here and—”

    Customer: “No! I need to PAY!”

    (The customer runs off, completely ignoring my coworker’s directions. We still aren’t entirely sure what she was asking for!)

    Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 5

    | ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Health & Body, Top

    (I’m 18, and have been hospitalized for a severe case of mono. As a result of the illness, my throat is badly swollen and I can hardly speak. I’m on lots of painkillers. I’m sharing a room with a boy who swallowed a rock. The boy has been screaming since his mother left and his father can’t quiet him down.)

    Nurse: “Okay, [my name], I’m just going to check your vitals.”

    Me: *whispering* “How much longer until I can have more pain medication?”

    Nurse: “Not for a while, sweetie.”

    (The nurse leaves. The boy’s father has been watching us the whole time.)

    Boy’s Father: “Listen, you little b****! Don’t you f****** gossip about me to the f****** nurses! You keep your f****** mouth shut, or I’ll shut it for you!”

    (I’m stunned, as I haven’t said a word to or about him. As I can’t move and can barely speak, I’m in tears and terrified. Not long after, my mom comes in to visit.)

    Mom: “Hey, [my name]. How are you doing?”

    Me: *crying and whispering* “Mom, the dad of that boy screamed at me. He said to shut up, or he’d shut me up.”

    (My mom is silent, but clearly fuming. She leaves for a moment.)

    Boy’s Father: “WHAT DID I SAY?!”

    (Just then, my mom comes back with security in tow.)

    Mom: “Escort him from hospital grounds NOW.”

    Boy’s Father: “B****! You can’t tell me what to do! You aren’t the boss here! I’m twenty-f******-five!”

    Mom: “Actually, I AM the boss here! It’s my day off, but I’m head nurse on this floor, and if you EVER speak to my daughter ever again, I will have you arrested so fast that you won’t ever hear the sirens! And by the way, I’m forty-freaking-eight and I have the good sense not to let my kids eat rocks!”

    (The man was removed from hospital grounds and was banned from re-entering for 48 hours unless it was an emergency. I have the best mom in the world.)

    Related:
    Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 4
    Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 3
    Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 2

    Anatomy Of An Idiot

    | Philadelphia, PA, USA | Books & Reading, Health & Body, Math & Science, Movies & TV

    (A customer comes to the register and puts a leather bound copy of ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ on the counter.)

    Customer: “Yes, I would like to return this book; it wasn’t what I expected.”

    Me: “Okay, I can do that for you.”

    Customer: “It was terrible; it’s not at all like the television show.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “It’s my favorite show, and I was really excited to read this, but I don’t know what they were thinking with this book.”

    (I am dumbfounded, but I finish the transaction and send the customer on her way. The next customer in line approaches.)

    Next Customer: “How is it you manage to get through a full day of that sort of bull-s*** and not punch yourself in the face?”

    Me: “No idea, sir.”

    Not All Customers Are Sick

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Awesome Customers, Health & Body, Top

    (A customer comes up to my counter.)

    Customer: “I have a fascinating offer to make you.”

    Me: “Uh-oh?”

    Customer: “If you let me use some cleaners, and give me a free water from the fountain, I’ll clean up the mess I just made throwing up all over your bathroom.”

    Me: “Oh… Well, the fountain drinks don’t have water, but I’ll get you some. [Coworker] over there is actually cleaning the men’s room right now, so you can talk to him.”

    Customer: “Thank you. I’m sorry.”

    Me: “Oh, it’s alright.”

    (She does indeed borrow some cleaning spray and some towels, and disappears into the women’s restroom for a few minutes. My coworker approaches.)

    Coworker: “What was that all about?”

    Me: “She didn’t say?”

    Coworker: “She just said you said it was okay to borrow the cleaning supplies.”

    Me: “Oh. She said she threw up and wanted to clean it up.”

    Coworker: “Really?”

    Me: “Yup.”

    (She comes back out at the end of this conversation.)

    Customer: “Again, I’m really, really sorry.”

    Me: “Most other customers would have just left it there and not even told us. You told us, apologized, and helped us clean it. You can come in here and throw up every night for all I care. Hope you feel better!”


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