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    Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    A Hearty Breakfast

    | Stuart, FL, USA | Food & Drink, Health & Body

    Me: “Ms. [Name], I need to take your vital signs. Your heart monitor is alarming.”

    Patient: “Do you ALWAYS interrupt people when they are eating their breakfast?!”

    Me: “Yes. This is a hospital, not a hotel. The vitals are more important right now than your breakfast.”

    Natural Medicine Versus Naturist Medicine

    | GA, USA | Health & Body, Rude & Risque

    (I work for a local orthopedic surgeon. One of my jobs is to remove post-op braces and put casts on. I’m a young woman; the patient is a 19-year old man.)

    Me: “Okay, sir. You’ll be in room three. I need to go get some supplies, but go on and sit on the exam table. Make yourself comfortable.”

    (The patient nods and hops up on the table. I cut the splint off his leg. We request patients wear gym shorts so we don’t have to cut their jeans. I walk out to get supplies and close the door. When I return, I knock twice and open the door. He’s laid out on the table, naked, and playing with his PSP.)

    Me: “Um, sir? I didn’t need you to remove your clothes.”

    Patient: “What? You told me to get comfortable!”

    The Bald And The Beautiful, Part 2

    | CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Health & Body, Top

    (I’ve recently been diagnosed with leukemia and am due to undergo chemotherapy. I decide to have fun with my hair and dye it blue knowing it’ll be gone soon. I’m at my favorite coffee shop.)

    Customer In Line: “Excuse me. Is there a manager on duty?”

    Manager: “I’m the manager on duty. What seems to be the problem?”

    Customer In Line: *points straight at me* “Can you have HIM escorted from the premises?”

    Manager: “I can’t see anything he’s doing wrong, ma’am. May I ask why you want him to leave?”

    Customer In Line: “Are you blind? Look at that punk. His kind should not be allowed in an establishment like this.”

    (Having heard more than I wish to, I decide to step in.)

    Me: “Is something about me bothering you?”

    Customer In Line: “YES! Look at your hair! You little rebel punks need to have some respect.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, miss. Should I get rid of it?”

    Customer In Line: “It would be a start.”

    Me: “Well, my chemotherapy treatment is on Wednesday, so odds are the next time you’ll see me it’ll be gone.”

    (The customer goes pale and walks away without saying a word. The manager gives me a big hug and a $25 gift card!)

    Related:
    The Bald And The Beautiful

    Best To Let Sleeping Service Dogs Lie

    | USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body

    (I am disabled and have a service dog that accompanies me everywhere, including my job. I typically run a register, and he will either sit or lay beside me on the rubber mat behind the register. I typically don’t talk about my disabilities with strangers, since some people can be rather mean.)

    Customer: “Oh, a service dog! Are you training it?”

    Me: *ringing up customer’s items* “No. He’s mine.”

    Customer: “But you don’t look disabled.”

    (I just smile and continue their transaction.)

    Customer: “Oh! Do you have seizures?”

    Me: “Something like that.”

    Customer: “Diabetes?”

    Me: “Something like that.”

    Customer: “PTSD?”

    Me: “Something like that.”

    Customer: “Well! I wasn’t trying to be nosy. Hmph!”

    Me: “Sorry about that. Your total will be [total].”

    (The customer pays and takes his bags, starts heading for the door before turning back to me.)

    Customer: “I’m sorry. That was rude of me, wasn’t it?”

    Me: “Something like that.”

    One Customer And You’re Already Pooped

    | Australia | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Pets & Animals

    (I am waiting to pick up my cat at the vet when I witness an exchange between the receptionist and a customer.)

    Receptionist: “She’s doing well. She’s passed some formed feces—”

    Customer: “What does that mean?”

    Receptionist: “Uh… It just means it’s solid—”

    Customer: “But what does that MEAN?”

    Receptionist: “What? Formed feces?”

    Customer: “Yeah, that second one.”

    Receptionist: “Oh… um… It’s her bowel movements.”

    Customer: *blank stare*

    Receptionist: “Number Two?”

    Customer: *blank stare*

    Receptionist: “Her, um, her poo, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Oh. Well, that’s good.”

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