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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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  • April Themed Story Giveaway: Creepy Customers!
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    Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    The Bald And The Beautiful

    | Roseville, MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Health & Body, Themed Giveaway, Top

    (I’m stocking food in one of the grocery aisles. At the opposite end of the aisle are two teenage boys and a pair of bald women customers. One of the customers has dark brown patches on her scalp and is wearing sunglasses. The other has clear skin, is wearing a nice dress and extravagant earrings. I’m a male with alopecia, so seeing young, balding people doesn’t really mystify me. The two teenage boys start to point and laugh at them.)

    Teenage Boy #1: “Man, these two d***’s think they look so good! Bald b**** trying to look girly; she’d look hot if she didn’t have a nasty man head!”

    Teenage Boy #2: “Look at the nasty spots on her head!”

    Teenage Boy #1: “Nasty spotty b**** with her nasty lesbian friend!”

    (Horrified, I start to storm over to stop this, when the customer with patchy skin whips around, mere inches from the teenage boy’s faces and speaks through gritted teeth.)

    Customer #1: “I have f****** cancer! Metastatic breast cancer. I probably don’t have very long to f****** live. These ‘nasty spots’ are lesions. My best friend shaved her head to support me. She’s the best support system you could f****** ask for, and if you two have a support system in making fun of two women whose lives you don’t even know, then I’m sorry for you. So, I’ll thank you to hold off on these comments in the future, just in case the people you’re berating are either dying or about to lose someone they love.”

    (The color leaves the boys faces, and they hang their heads low, while the women walk down the aisle toward me. Customer #2 turns back to them.)

    Customer #2: “Oh, and even if we were bald lesbians, you still had better keep your d*** mouths shut!”

    (As they walk past me, I tip my hat off to them to reveal my smooth, shiny head. The women high five me, and walk to the next aisle arm in arm.)

    No Paws For Thought, Part 2

    | NC, USA | Health & Body, Pets & Animals, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I am disabled and have a service dog that assists me. My disability isn’t physical, so sometimes people stop me to try and figure out what my service dog is for. He is completely trained and certified. I am shopping when another customer approaches me.)

    Customer: “Oh, are you training that service dog? How kind of you!”

    Me: “Actually, he’s my service dog. He’s completely trained.”

    Customer: “But you aren’t blind!”

    Me: “No, ma’am.”

    Customer: “How DARE you take a service dog away from a blind person? You ought to be ashamed!”

    Me: “Ma’am, not all disabilities are visible. Plenty of people who aren’t blind have service dogs. He’s not trained to assist the blind.”

    Customer: “You’re just faking it! He’s just a pet and you’re lying! Give me that!”

    (At this point, the customer grabs for my service dog’s leash. The leash is looped around my chest and shoulders like a purse, so this does not go well. An employee of this store sees the altercation happen, and comes running over.)

    Employee: “Ma’am! Let go of the dog!”

    Customer: “No! This girl is lying! He’s not a real service dog and she’s not blind!”

    Me: “Let go! This is assault!”

    Customer: *pushes down on my service dog’s behind* “Sit! Sit! Bad dog!”

    (At this point, I physically yank away from her and give my service dog the signal to tuck in behind me. The lady grabs him by the tail and he yelps.)

    Customer: “See?! See?!”

    (The employee keeps trying to get the customer to leave me alone, but she starts to grab at any part of us she can get to. The security officers show up and haul the screaming customer away. As they drag her out of the store, she is still yelling about me being a liar.)

    Employee: “Oh, my God! I am so sorry! I have never seen anyone so crazy!”

    Related:
    No Paws For Thought

    No Time For Patience And Patients

    | WV, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body

    Me: “[Doctor's office]. How may I help you?”

    Patient: “I need an appointment for tomorrow.”

    Me: “How about 10:20?”

    Patient: “20 minutes until 11:00?”

    Me: “No. 10:20.”

    Patient: *condescendingly* “Isn’t 10:20 just 20 minutes until 11:00?”

    Me: “No. That would be 10:40.”

    Patient: “How many minutes until eleven is 10:20?”

    Me: “40.”

    Patient: “So my appointment is at 10:40?”

    Me: “No. It’s 10:20.”

    Patient: “Okay. See you at 10:40.”

    A-Salted By The Flavor

    | Hyannis, MA, USA | Food & Drink, Health & Body, Top

    (I own a small cookie bakery on a busy main street on Cape Cod. A customer and his wife have purchased a cookie and some coffee and sat outside to enjoy it. I am having a conversation with my son, when the customer walks back in after they’ve finished.)

    Customer: “Excuse me. Just a little constructive criticism.”

    Me: “Okay. Sure!”

    Customer: “The cookie we had was too salty.”

    Me: “I’m sorry about that. Which cookie did you purchase?”

    Customer: “The lace cookie.”

    Me: “You mean the one topped with sea salt?”

    Customer: “I’m not sure why it tasted so salty!”

    My Son: “But it’s… it’s topped with sea salt.”

    Customer: “You know, you REALLY need to be careful about stuff like that when there are people like us who are watching our salt intake!”

    Me: “Well then, sir, I’m not certain you made the best decision. Out of our 14 or so varieties, you chose to purchase a salted cookie.”

    Customer: “But it was—” *reads description* “—OH! I see. Um, okay, have a great day!”

    Don’t Know What Game He Is Trying To Play

    | Seattle, WA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Health & Body

    (A short line forms at my checkout counter, and the first customer in line is a confused-looking man. He’s pretty out of it, but he seems friendly enough. He sets down a few items, and while I add up the purchases he browses the cigarettes, lotto, and scratch-off tickets kept behind the counter.)

    Customer: “What are the cheapest cigarettes you have?”

    Me: “That would be [brand]. What flavor would you like?”

    Customer: “What are the flavors?”

    (I list the flavors and he chooses one. Thinking he’s finished, I ring up the cigarettes too, and give him his total. He pauses in thought.)

    Customer: “Actually, can I get the menthol instead?”

    Me: “Uh, sure. No problem.”

    (I switch the cigarettes. Luckily they are the same price.)

    Me: “Will there be anything else?”

    Customer: “One lottery please.”

    Me: “Okay, what game do you want to play?”

    Customer: “What games are there?”

    (I list the games and how much they cost.)

    Customer: “One [game].”

    (I print the ticket and ring it up. He takes a long pause.)

    Customer: “And a [different game].”

    (I print ticket and ring it up. Pause.)

    Customer: “And [third game].”

    (The line behind him has grown by a couple people. By this point I’m a little irked by his random impulsive decisions and sluggish pace, but I follow his requests with a smile. He then notices the scratch-off ticket display.)

    Customer: “What games are these?”

    Me: *sighs*

    (I go over the games and costs and he proceeds to pick them one at a time, despite my asking if there’s multiple things I can get him at once. The whole transaction has gone on for longer than five minutes now. Once he’s done, he drops a wad of crumpled up cash and loose change on my counter. I count out what he owes while he stares blankly. As I finish counting his change, I’m about to finally cash out the transaction.)

    Customer: “Can I have another [scratch-off game]?”

    Me: “Will that be it, sir? Is there anything else you want right now?”

    Customer: “No.”

    (I silently fume, but add the ticket and take the additional money for it. He stares at the change left in front of him.)

    Customer: “Do I need more money?”

    Me: “NO! You are all paid for! You are good to go. All set.”

    (He gathers his pile of goods, tickets and change and leaves. Finally, the clearly annoyed customers still in line move forward.)

    Next Customer: “Well, that must have been frustrating.”

    Me: “Tell me about it.”

    (I ring up the next customer quickly and easily and he leaves. Five seconds later, he comes back in.)

    Next Customer: “He’s pissing on your sidewalk.”

    Me: “WHAT?!”

    (Lo and behold, only about 20 feet outside the door, the first customer has his fly open and is urinating on the side of the sidewalk, in broad daylight.)

    Me: “HEY YOU, STOP IT!”

    (The customer looks up, stops and zips up his fly. He then begins to walk back towards me and the store.)

    Customer: “I’m so sorry; I didn’t know you couldn’t. I didn’t know.”

    (As a gesture of peace, he offers me his hand that had been previously occupied only few seconds before.)

    Me: “JUST GO!”


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