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    Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    Smelly Cat Lady, Smelly Cat Lady, What Are They Feeding You

    | UK | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Bizarre, Health & Body

    (It is a Tuesday late night, which everyone dreads, because of the infamous ‘Cat Lady’. She is a very lovely, quiet, but friendly lady but has one of the least pleasant aromas that I have ever experienced.)

    Manager: *to Cat Lady* “Ma’am, I am just about to close. Please, can you go down to [My Name]’s checkout.”

    (Cat Lady nods and smiles, and goes down my checkout. She places her few items on the conveyer belt and I can already start to smell her as she comes up to me.)

    Me: *under my breath* “Oh my god, [Manager]. I can’t believe you did that!”

    Manager: “Just wait, okay?”

    (Cat Lady is about to reach me. Just as she does, my manager grabs a pot of fresh basil that had been left earlier that day and thrusts it into my face.)

    Manager: “[My Name], smell this basil! It’s such a nice smell!

    Cat Lady: “Wow, it’s so nice that you all appreciate the produce here!”

    Good Customer Service Is A Balancing Act

    | Greensboro, NC, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (Our store has a special sale going on. We have a nicely dressed sale table with a tablecloth and the items laid out on it. Customer #1 is approaching the counter. I am folding shirts at an adjacent table while my coworker rings up Customer #2, who has a young baby on her shoulder. We have seen her feeding her baby with a bottle while browsing the store. As they’re checking out, the baby suddenly starts spitting up. It miraculously doesn’t land on the mother’s clothing at all. However, it does go all over the floor, down the side of the tablecloth and gets on at least five DVDs and about ten books. It narrowly misses Customer #1.)

    Customer #2: *spins around, takes in the mess, and hurries out the door*

    (My coworker, Customer #1, and I stare at each other and the table in shock.)

    Customer #1: “The nerve of some people. That’s disgusting!”

    (I’m so flabbergasted that I can’t help but laugh.)

    Me: “Well, guess I should clean that up then.”

    Customer #1: “Do you want some help?”

    Me: “No, it’s fine. Guess all that babysitting finally comes in handy here!”

    Customer #1: “Are you sure, dear? That was so incredibly rude. I couldn’t imagine making you do it all.”

    Me: “It’s fine. I’m just glad it didn’t get on you! Just let [Coworker] ring you up. I’ll be fine.”

    (Customer #1 continues to apologize for Customer #2 and to offer to help. I remove the damaged items and shift things around so I can take off the tablecloth. Once she leaves, my coworker mops the floor for me.)

    Coworker: “Well, at least she kind of balanced out the other one!”

    Some People Drive You To Drink

    | Montreal, QC, Canada | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (I am at a local grocery store looking for a specific brand of cat food. I have a few items in my cart, including a bottle of cooking wine. Suddenly, a customer comes from the back and SLAMS her cart pretty hard into mine.)

    Me: “Uh…”

    Customer: *unintelligible mumbling* “…serves you right!”

    (The customer quickly makes her way to the end of the aisle. I brush it off and keep looking for the cat food. A few seconds later the customer turns around and, this time, slams her cart pretty hard right into my thigh.)

    Me: “Ow! Lady, please. Slow down!”

    Customer: “Humph!”

    (The customer speeds around the corner. I am appalled that she didn’t even apologize but I brush it off again, thinking that this will be the end of it. However, not even a minute later, the lady comes back and slams her cart into me again, pushing me towards the shelves.)

    Me: “Really? Lady, this is the third time you crashed into me in less than five minutes! Is there anything wrong?”

    Customer: “Yeah! That serves you right for being an alcoholic!”

    Me: “Excuse me? I don’t even drink, not that it is any of your business!”

    Customer: “Liar! I see the wine bottle and all the beer, plus your face is all red. Alcoholic! Women like you should be ashamed!”

    Me: “Ma’am, it’s one bottle of cooking wine. This is not beer. It’s soda. My face is red because I had to spend a lot of time shoveling my car out in very cold weather. Once again, this is none of your business!”

    Customer: “And you admit to using a car! Drunks should not drive! Hhmph! Drunk harlot!”

    (She quickly takes off with her cart only to smash it into the opposite shelf, causing a lot of merchandise to drop on the floor.)

    Me: “Apparently, you shouldn’t drive either!”

    Mind-Blowing Ignorance

    | WA, USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (I am an ER nurse. During the late morning, a man comes in with his son, who has a concussion. The policy is that a concussion patient isn’t allowed to sleep at all. The nurses and staff make sure the boy stays awake and notice that he keeps nodding off a little too easily.)

    Me: “Excuse me, but why is your son so tired?”

    Father: “Oh, he got his concussion in the wee hours of the morning and I just knew that he couldn’t fall asleep. So he’s been awake since then.”

    Me: “Why didn’t you bring him in here right away?”

    Father: “I didn’t know if you’d be open that early.”

    Me: “This is the ER! We’re always open!”

    Best To Try To Rise Above It

    , | Portland, ME, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

    (I am in the middle of a health scare involving my lungs, and my doctor has told me not to use the stairs for more than one flight. I need to be on the fourth floor, so I am waiting for the elevator when a patron storms up to me.)

    Patron: “Excuse me! I don’t know if you read the sign, but it clearly says that this elevator is for handicapped people. Not people who are just too lazy to use the stairs.”

    Me: “…I beg your pardon?”

    Patron: “You need to leave the elevator for the people who really need it.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I need the elevator.”

    Patron: “That’s bulls***.”

    Me: “Look, lady. One of my LUNGS is not functioning right now, and my doctor has told me that I’m not allowed to take the stairs.”

    Patron: “Your doctor is too easy on you!”

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