Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

Crazily Honest

| USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

(The store I work at is about a block from a mental health services office. We often see their clients in the store and know that some can be a bit eccentric.)

Me: “Hi. How are you today?”

Customer: “Not bad for a crazy guy but as long as I take my meds, I’m okay.”

Me: “Well, there’s something to be said for honesty…”

Some Customers Will Even Pull Your Hair Out For You

| TX, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(I am trying to fix the printer on a self-check out machine. I am a girl with long hair pulled back in tight braids and a bun. A loop of hair has snagged on a lag screw on the raised portion of the screen.)

Me: *calling coworker on the phone* “Hey, I got myself stuck in the self-check. Can you come help me?”

Coworker: “Sure.”

(A customer pulls up to her station with a large order. I can’t see her and she can’t see me, so I wait patiently, bent completely over.)

Customer: *walks up to me* “Can you check these out for me?”

(The customer hands me a bunch of bolts.)

Me: “I would be happy to, sir, just as soon as I get unstuck from this machine.”

Customer: “Have you called anyone to help you yet?”

Me: “Yes, sir. She should be here in a moment.”

(There is a very long awkward pause, while the customer just stands there looking at me.)

Customer: “Well….she’s not here yet. I guess I could help ya out.”

Me: “I would appreciate that. Thanks!”

(The customer proceeds to yank violently on my hair. A few strands come completely out of my head. Finally, the loop of hair comes off the lag screw.)

Customer: “There. Will you ring me out now?”

Turning Them Red With Purple

| VIC, Australia | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

(I’m in the shopping centre queuing up to buy something. My hair is dyed bright purple for ‘World’s Greatest Shave.’ There are two customers in line behind me.)

Customer #1: “Teenagers these days. Dying their hair so they can ‘stand out.’ Well, they just look ridiculous.”

Customer #2: “I know! How on earth do their parents let them do this?”

(I turn around.)

Me: “Excuse me, but I have dyed my hair for the ‘World’s Greatest Shave’ because my younger brother has leukemia. My whole family either have shaved their heads or dyed their hair for support. I have not dyed my hair to ‘stand out.’ I have dyed it so I can contribute in helping those in need.”

(The two customers turned red and hurried out of the queue into another line.)   

Total Nincompoop

| Russellville, AR, USA | Health & Body

(I work in a restaurant as a teenager. The restroom is crowded and I’m in a stall when all leave except two young girls. Girl #1 is in a stall and Girl #2 is waiting by the sinks.)

Girl #1: “Is everyone gone?”

Girl #2: *apparently hasn’t noticed me* “Yeah, they left.”

Girl #1: “Oh good. Now I can poop.”

(I take that as my cue to flush and wash my hands, trying not to laugh at the sudden awkward silence. As I open the door to leave I say:)

Me: “Okay. Now you can poop.”

A Cancer Of Society

| Knoxville, TN, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Health & Body

(Our store is selling stuffed toys to give to children undergoing cancer treatment. I’m on register checking out a couple.)

Me: “Would you like to purchase one of the toys and donate it to a child?”

(The customer reaches for one of the toys and I think I’ve made a sale. But then she puts the toy back on the counter and says:)

Customer: “My hunch is that kids who have cancer get enough of these.”

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