November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

That’s No Way To Talk To A Customer

| CA, USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body, Top

(I’m the customer in this story. I’m checking out at a grocery store and the cashier has a sign out that reads ‘I’ve lost my voice. Please work with me.’)

Cashier: *nods at me by way of greeting; points to the sign*

Me: *nods and give thumbs up to indicate that I saw it*

Cashier: *scans a bottle of wine; pantomimes opening his wallet*

Me: *wordlessly show him my ID*

Cashier: *holds up a bag; raises eyebrow to ask if I want one*

Me: *nods; hold up one finger*

Me: *out loud* “Oh… I guess I can still talk, huh?”

Cashier: *smiles and writes me a quick note on a scrap of paper*

Note: “Don’t feel bad. You’re at least the 10th person today.”

Putting The Prices Into Perspective

| Newport, KY, USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body

Customer: “How do you sleep at night charging this much for popcorn?”

Me: *completely fed up with this crap* “I lie awake at night thinking about my mother’s cancer treatments.”

(No response from Customer, and awed shock from coworkers.)

He Is Weigh Out Of Line

, | WA, USA | Health & Body, Rude & Risque, Spouses & Partners

(It is a few days before Christmas. One of my coworkers is nearby.)

Me: “Hi there, sir. Are you finding everything all right?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’m just trying to decide which size sweater would fit my wife better.”

Me: “Do you know what size she normally wears?”

Customer: “Not really, but she is bigger than you… especially in the breasts… She is more like your size!” *gesturing to my coworker*

(Turns around to address my coworker.)

Customer: “What do you weigh?”

Passes It No Sweat

| Okotoks, AB, Canada | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Health & Body

(A customer brings over a pair of wool socks and a large pack of toe warmers to my till. He is in his early twenties, but seems nice enough.)

Me: “Getting ready for the cold weather? I heard it’s supposed to snow.”

Customer: “No, it’s for a drug test.”

(Thinking I didn’t hear right.)

Me: “What?”

Customer: “They help me pass my drug test, every time.”

Me: “…”

Midwest Going South

| West Yellowstone, MT, USA | Health & Body, Hotels & Lodging, Tourists/Travel

(Most of the time when guests have a clogged toilet they come down or call and ask for a plunger or someone to come up. After all, we really don’t need to know WHY it’s clogged to fix it (and honestly we don’t want you to tell us).)

Guest: “Yeah, could I have a plunger? I just took a good old Midwestern s***!”

Me: “I did not know that was something the Midwest was known for…”