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    Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    Doesn’t Have A Leg To Stand On

    , | UK | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (Four months before this, I broke my leg very badly while at university. I am currently working in a shop at home over the holidays. I’m at the checkouts and see a lady with her arm in a sling trying to cut in front of a very long queue.)

    Me: “Excuse me, ma’am. The queue starts over there.”

    Customer: “I was standing in [other queue] for ages before someone told me it was a self service!”

    Me: “Sorry, but all these people have been queuing.”

    Customer: “It’s a bloody outrage. Your signs aren’t at all clear!”

    Next Customer In Line: “Oh, just let her go.”

    Me: “Okay…”

    Customer: “I’ve got a sprained wrist. You people have no idea how much pain I’m in! I shouldn’t be treated like this! I’ve a good mind to speak to your manager!”

    Me: “Actually, I do know. Four months ago, I broke my leg in six places and had to have several operations to fix it. I’ve been walking on it for less than a month. In order to fund myself through medical school, so I can be a doctor and help people, I’m spending nine hours a day standing on my feet serving customers who can’t do anything but complain.”

    (The customer looked ashamed, mumbled a ‘sorry,’ and was polite from then on, avoiding the angry glares the other customers in line were giving her.)

    Bigotry Comes In All Shapes And Sizes

    | USA | Bigotry, Health & Body

    (I work in a store that sells only plus-sized clothing. There are signs about it throughout the store, and the sizing system is clearly different from other stores. A pair of very skinny girls walk in.)

    Girl #1: “Whoa, look at all the fat people in here.”

    Girl #2: “Dude, shut up.”

    Girl #1: “What? I can outrun them if I have to.”

    (I approach them before Girl #1 causes any trouble.)

    Me: “Hello, ladies. Is there anything in particular I can help you find? Looking for a gift for someone?”

    Girl #1: “Yah, where are your leggings?”

    Me: “They’re right over here on this rack.”

    Girl #1: “What’s this? 1X? 2X?”

    Me: “That’s the plus size sizing system.”

    Girl #1: “Do I LOOK like I’m OBESE?!”

    Me: “I assumed you were in here buying for someone else.”

    Girl #2: “[Girl #1], I told you this is a plus-size store.”

    Girl #1: “So you don’t have a size two?”

    Me: “No. Like your friend said, we only sell plus-sized clothing.”

    Girl #1: “This is discrimination against people who actually CARE about their bodies! You should carry NORMAL clothes too!”

    (Another customer overhears her little outburst.)

    Customer: “You really don’t have to shop here, kid.”

    Girl #1: “Well, maybe I wante—”

    Customer: “I’m sick of hearing that sort of attitude. I go to any other clothing store, and I can’t find anything that’s my size because I’m too big. There are dozens of stores at this mall that sell your size, but only one the sells mine. Guess what, kiddo? I didn’t CHOOSE to be fat! I have a genetic disorder that causes me to gain weight no matter how much I work out.”

    Girl #2: “Come on, let’s just go elsewhere. I’m so sorry for my idiot friend’s behavior.”

    Girl #1: “Why are you standing up for them?”

    Girl #2: “You know I used to weigh twice what I do now. I worked my a** off to lose over 100 pounds. I don’t see why the f*** we even came in here! I told you we wouldn’t find anything! So cut it with the fat discrimination and let’s go elsewhere, you idiot!”

    (Girl #2 came back later to apologize again.)

    Trying To Engender The Gender

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Health & Body

    (I’m at an OB/GYN clinic. This clinic has a strict policy against giving out the sex of unborn babies, though many expecting parents try to get around this rule. I am overhearing a prospective father talking to one of the doctors.)

    Prospective Father: “Tell me, Doc, is my wife gonna have a boy or a girl?”

    Doctor: “Sorry, I’m afraid I can’t tell you. It’s still hard to determine at this point.”

    Prospective Father: “Aw, come on! Don’t give me that! I know you’re just saying that because of your policy! Just please tell me if I’m gonna be having a son or a daughter!”

    Doctor: “You know the rules. Can’t tell you.”

    Prospective Father: “D*** it… Okay, then, is it all right if I asked you for your opinion on something?”

    Doctor: “Sure, what is it?”

    Prospective Father: “Well, since we’re expecting a child and all, it would be a good idea to buy all the necessities ahead of time, right? So, what colour of clothing should I buy for our baby? Blue or pink?”

    Doctor: “I think your baby would look adorable in either colour.”

    Prospective Father: “Really? Can’t you do better than that? If you HAD to pick a colour, what would you choose?”

    Doctor: “Well, if you really can’t decide between those two colours, why not just get one of each? Or mix-and-match, say a blue top and pink bottoms?”

    Prospective Father: “What if you had to pick only ONE colour?”

    Doctor: “White’s a good colour. It’s a very popular choice for baby clothes, actually.”

    Prospective Father: “Ugh, fine. I’ve got another question for you, Doc.”

    Doctor: “Sure, go ahead.”

    Prospective Father: “When you did the ultrasound, did you notice anything… different?”

    Doctor: “What do you mean by ‘different’?”

    Prospective Father: “Like, did you notice anything dangling on the baby ‘down there’?”

    Doctor: “Oh, I did notice something on your baby down there.”

    Prospective Father: “REALLY? WE’RE GONNA HAVE A BOY?”

    Doctor: “Now hold your horses, young man. I never said that. Here, let me show you. Take a good look over here on this screen. If you look over here on the right, there’s something hanging down low. In the medical field, we call that an umbilical cord.”

    Prospective Father: “WHY CAN’T YOU JUST TELL ME IF IT’S A BOY OR A GIRL?!”

    Sodium And So Dum

    | FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Health & Body

    Customer: “I’d like a half-pound of the [Cheap Brand] low-sodium ham, please!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. We don’t have [Cheap Brand] low-sodium ham. We do have the [Premium Brand] low-sodium ham, though.”

    Customer: “No, you do have the [Cheap Brand] kind. It’s right there.”

    (She points to the Cheap Brand boiled ham, which is the lowest quality meat we sell, and is loaded with salt and fat.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m afraid that ham isn’t low-sodium. Actually, that’s the highest-sodium ham we have.”

    Customer: “WHAT?! I’ve been eating that ham for three months because I thought it was healthy! My doctor said my blood pressure was dangerously high!”

    Me: “Um… that’s not good. Did one of the employees here tell you that ham was low-sodium?”

    Customer: “No! I just assumed it was!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but you probably should have asked someone here about that.”

    Customer: “SHUT UP! IF I HAVE A HEART ATTACK IT’S YOUR FAULT!”

    Not Been Teenage For An Age

    | ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

    (I’m older than I look, and married. I also have my nose pierced and a couple of tattoos that show if I’m wearing a t-shirt.)

    Older Male Customer: “Do you have a boyfriend, young lady?”

    Me: “No, I’m—”

    Customer: “No wonder with all that nonsense on your arms and that hoop in your face. How do you ever expect to get a boyfriend looking like that?”

    Me: “Well, my husband doesn’t seem to mind them.”

    Customer: “Married?! You’re only a teenager.”

    Me: “Sir, I’m 25…”

    Customer: *blushes and turns away, fuming*

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