November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

Allergic To Common Sense, Part 4

| AB, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(A lady orders a blueberry pineapple margarita and I bring it out. A little while later I notice her giving it to her husband and not drinking it.)

Me: “Is everything okay with the margarita?”

Lady: “Oh, yes. I am just allergic to pineapples but wanted to try it.”

Me: “Are you okay?”

Lady: “Oh yeah, it will just turn my face red.” *laughs* “It is already.”

(Sure enough her face developed a rash. She ordered and paid for a drink she knew she was allergic to!)

Allergic To Common Sense, Part 3
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 2
Allergic To Common Sense

Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 8

| Seattle, WA, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

(An elderly woman has asked me to grab a large bag of dog food off the floor for her. As I am walking over to retrieve it, this conversation happens.)

Elderly Woman: “Oh, no, dear, I didn’t mean you grab it. Just get one of the nice young men to grab it for me.”

Me: “It’s no problem at all, ma’am! I assure you I lift these bags all the time!”

Elderly Woman: “Oh. you shouldn’t do that! What about the baby?!”

Me: “Oh! Oh, no, I am sorry for the confusion. I’m not pregnant, ma’am.”

Elderly Woman: “But someday you could be! You don’t want to risk it!”

Me: “I assure you, if I am ever pregnant, I won’t lift anything. For the mean time I am perfectly capable of lifting the bag for you. I promise.”

(I lifted the bag and brought it to the register, rang her out, and then carried it to her car. As I was walking away I heard her shouting ‘you make sure you take care of that baby!’ Now, whenever I go to lift anything, my coworkers tell me to make sure ‘not to hurt the baby!’)

Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 7
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 6
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 5

Put Your Faith In The Patch

| Canada | Health & Body, Religion, Tourists/Travel

(I work on a cruise line’s guest services desk. Frequently, passengers wear little patches that prevent sea sickness. One man comes to my desk.)

Me: “Good afternoon. How can I help you?”

Man: “I was wondering what religion the people with the patches are.”


| Hendersonville, TN, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Health & Body

(I’m the receptionist at an allergist’s clinic that’s just across the street from the city hospital.)

Man: “Hello, I’d like to fill a prescription for one [Name] for [strong allergy medicine].”

(This immediately sets off a red flag in my head, as the name he said was the name of a patient that I can recognize by his face, who comes in for weekly allergy shots, and I’ve never seen this person before.)

Me: “Really, he’s out of medicine already?”

Man: “Yeah, I guess he, uh… took too many doses?”

Me: “I don’t recognize you, sir; are you family?”

Man: “Uh, yeah, I’m Eric [Last Name].”

(I look at my coworker who is listening in, and she immediately walks to the back. The name the man just told me was the name of the normal client, but that client lives with his grandparents who share a different surname.)

Man: “I have his pill bottle if you need proof he sent me.”

(Sure enough, he produces a pill bottle, I take it and set it behind my desk and feign typing information in while an officer walks in.)

Officer: “Hey!”

(The man immediately turned pale as a ghost and tried to bolt past the officer, only to get taken down. The officer hauled the man away as he cussed and hurled threats. Apparently he was a former worker of the client’s grandparents and went through their trash to get an empty pill bottle to try to get medicine to make drugs.)

That Old Adage About Old Age

| Wales, UK | Bizarre, Health & Body

(My department for the local county council takes service requests from residents of the area for all sorts of things:)

Me: “Bore da. Good morning. This is [Local Council].”

Caller: *shouting* “I’M OLD!”

Me: “Okay, sir, it happens to all of us eventually. Now, how can I help?”


Me: “I’m sorry to hear you have those things, sir. Now, please tell me how I can help you this morning.”


Me: “I listened to everything you’ve said, sir. You’re elderly and you suffer from arthritis and sciatica and bunions. Now, these things understandably cause you pain and would have meant you needed help with something. If you can remember what that ‘something’ was and recall why you might have phoned me up, I can try and help you.”

Customer: “I NEED YOU TO… Oh. I can’t remember. If you remember can you call me?” *click*

Me: *to thin air* “Uh… not without your phone number, I can’t.”