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    Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    Mind-Blowing Ignorance

    | WA, USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (I am an ER nurse. During the late morning, a man comes in with his son, who has a concussion. The policy is that a concussion patient isn’t allowed to sleep at all. The nurses and staff make sure the boy stays awake and notice that he keeps nodding off a little too easily.)

    Me: “Excuse me, but why is your son so tired?”

    Father: “Oh, he got his concussion in the wee hours of the morning and I just knew that he couldn’t fall asleep. So he’s been awake since then.”

    Me: “Why didn’t you bring him in here right away?”

    Father: “I didn’t know if you’d be open that early.”

    Me: “This is the ER! We’re always open!”

    Best To Try To Rise Above It

    , | Portland, ME, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

    (I am in the middle of a health scare involving my lungs, and my doctor has told me not to use the stairs for more than one flight. I need to be on the fourth floor, so I am waiting for the elevator when a patron storms up to me.)

    Patron: “Excuse me! I don’t know if you read the sign, but it clearly says that this elevator is for handicapped people. Not people who are just too lazy to use the stairs.”

    Me: “…I beg your pardon?”

    Patron: “You need to leave the elevator for the people who really need it.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I need the elevator.”

    Patron: “That’s bulls***.”

    Me: “Look, lady. One of my LUNGS is not functioning right now, and my doctor has told me that I’m not allowed to take the stairs.”

    Patron: “Your doctor is too easy on you!”

    I Have A Sinking Feeling, Part 2

    | IL, USA | Health & Body, Tourists/Travel

    (Our beach normally has a 15-minute swim break to clear the water to make sure no one is missing, and to allow the lifeguards a short break. Today is incredibly busy and hot, and we are extremely understaffed since most of the college students have returned to school. The manager has just announced a 30-minute swim break. I am at the beach gate, where we collect the entrance fees.)

    Woman: *in a rude tone* “Who just made that announcement? Where is that person?”

    Me: “The beach manager. They are in the lifeguard office. Is there something I can help you with?”

    Woman: “What do they mean a 30-minute swim break?! That’s ridiculous!”

    Me: “Well, we always have a 15-minute swim break, but today they are extending it to 30 minutes for a few reasons. For one, since there are so many people it takes more time to clear the water. Also, we are understaffed today and have already had one lifeguard go home sick. The longer break allows the lifeguards time for a break so they can be focused when they go on the stands.”

    Woman: “This is insane! I can’t believe this place! How inconsiderate!” *storms off*

    Related:
    I Have A Sinking Feeling

    A Hearty Breakfast

    | Stuart, FL, USA | Food & Drink, Health & Body

    Me: “Ms. [Name], I need to take your vital signs. Your heart monitor is alarming.”

    Patient: “Do you ALWAYS interrupt people when they are eating their breakfast?!”

    Me: “Yes. This is a hospital, not a hotel. The vitals are more important right now than your breakfast.”

    Natural Medicine Versus Naturist Medicine

    | GA, USA | Health & Body, Rude & Risque

    (I work for a local orthopedic surgeon. One of my jobs is to remove post-op braces and put casts on. I’m a young woman; the patient is a 19-year old man.)

    Me: “Okay, sir. You’ll be in room three. I need to go get some supplies, but go on and sit on the exam table. Make yourself comfortable.”

    (The patient nods and hops up on the table. I cut the splint off his leg. We request patients wear gym shorts so we don’t have to cut their jeans. I walk out to get supplies and close the door. When I return, I knock twice and open the door. He’s laid out on the table, naked, and playing with his PSP.)

    Me: “Um, sir? I didn’t need you to remove your clothes.”

    Patient: “What? You told me to get comfortable!”

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