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    Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    The Lie-To-Yourself Diet

    | MN, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    Me: *answering phone* “Thank you for calling [Pizza Place]. This is [My Name]. Can I interest you in two large pizzas with up to five toppings and a pop for only $22.99?”

    Customer: “No, I don’t need that much. I’m on a diet.”

    Me: “Okay. What can I get you tonight?”

    Customer: “Can I get a large veggie pizza, but hold the mushrooms, black olives, green peppers, and onions, and add sausage, beef, bacon, Canadian bacon and pepperoni.”

    Me: “Okay, that would just be a meats pizza with tomatoes.”

    Customer: “No, I’m on a diet. I need a veggie pizza because of my diet. but hold the mushrooms, black olives, green peppers, and onions, and add sausage, beef, bacon, Canadian bacon and pepperoni.”

    Me: “Okay, no problem. Your total will be $11 and we will have it ready in 15 minutes.”

    (I rang up the order the way she wanted it but told my coworkers that it was just a meats pizza with tomatoes.)

    Transcontinental Breakfast

    | Cumberland County, PA, USA | Food & Drink, Health & Body, Hotels & Lodging, Rude & Risque

    (I work the front desk night shift at our hotel, and one of my duties is to set up breakfast and make sure it is fully stocked until I clock out in the morning. I’m a young transgender woman and I’ve only informed the general manager of that fact. As far as I know neither my coworkers nor any guests can tell. I am restocking the sausage patties when this happens.)

    Guest: “Oh, so you’re the one who cooks up all the breakfast, eh?”

    Me: *smiles* “Yup, that’s me!”

    (I quickly break away from the encounter to wrap up my shift. Soon enough my coworker is just about ready to let me go for the day, when the same guest from before passes by, spots me, and smiles.)

    Guest: “There’s the sausage queen!”

    Me: *speechless*

    Coworker: *chuckles* “Sorry, the 12-year-old in me just had to laugh at that!”

    Me: “They may never know just how funny that truly was.”

    Please Keep Both Hands On The Wheel(chair)

    | Dallas, TX, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Health & Body, Top, Transportation

    (I’ve been in a wheelchair for several years and am still pretty independent. Unfortunately there are times the chair can be a real pain. I broke down on the interstate on my daily commute and do not have a cell phone. As a result I am wheeling myself down the I-35 shoulder headed to the closest gas station when a DPS unit pulls up behind me. I was very tired since the shoulder of an interstate is not the easiest surface for me to go long distances. When I see the cop something just reminds me of a routine traffic stop, which I find hilarious.)

    Me: “Don’t bother asking for my license or proof of insurance for my chair, as I have neither.”

    (The cop looked confused for a second, and then burst out laughing.)

    Allergic To Common Sense

    | Norway | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Top

    (I am the store manager of a fairly new store that sells accessories aimed at women and children. It is clear to most customers that we do not sell any high-quality jewelry, only mixed-metal ones. Its a fairly quiet day and I am fixing the music system that is located behind the register. I do not hear the customer come in, which I would come to regret. Sitting on my knees, I suddenly hear a voice.)

    Customer: “Is it possible to get any help here, or are you just going to be sitting on your fat a**?”

    Me: “I am so sorry, ma’am. I was trying to fix our music system and I didn`t hear you come in. What can I do for you today?”

    (The customer does not look me in the eye during the whole conversation.)

    Customer: “Yeah, right. Well, I have a problem with your store and I demand to see the manager. NOW.”

    Me: “That would be me, ma’am. What seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: *sighs* “Really? You? Okay. I bought a pair of earrings here and I’m allergic so I am going to get my money back.”

    Me: “Okay, well it`s against store policy to take back earrings, due to health issues, but—”

    Customer: “That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. In my 70 years on this planet I have never experienced any problems of this sort.”

    Me: “Forgive me, ma’am, but I find that hard to believe as no other store in this city will take back earrings, unless there is a problem with them.”

    Customer: “THERE IS A PROBLEM WITH THEM. I am allergic!”

    Me: “There is nothing wrong with the earrings. They are the way they are supposed to be. They are made with mixed metals, which we make perfectly clear to all customers who ask about allergies. If you knew you were allergic you should have gone to the jewelry store and bought some gold or silver ones. That being said, if you’ll let me look at the receipt, I’ll see what I can do.”

    Customer: “I don’t have a receipt. Why would I have that?”

    Me: “Without a receipt there is nothing I can do. It’s the company policy. I am sorry.”

    Customer: “That`s Illegal!”

    Me: “It’s not illegal. According to the law, you are actually never entitled to any money back unless there is something clearly wrong with the product. Of course, most stores still offer exchanges of products that have not been used, against a valid receipt. But, seeing as you claim there is something wrong with the product, we should skip to that part.”

    (The customer is staring at the ceiling with her arms crossed, but still listening, so I continue.)

    Me: “If a product does not meet the qualifications that they are supposed to, you are entitled to your money back.”

    Customer: “That is what I said.”

    Me: “No. Because there is nothing wrong with the earrings. They are made with mixed-metals, just as they were meant to.”

    Customer: “But I had an allergic reaction.”

    Me: “Yes, exactly. There is something wrong with you, not the earrings. What we can do is: you give me the earrings and I will send them to the head office and they will get in touch with you, as I am not allowed to hand out money without a receipt, regardless of the situation.”

    Customer: “I don’t have them.”

    Me: “I’m sorry? You don’t have the earrings?”

    Customer: “No? Why the h*** would I keep them?”

    Me: “Okay, let me get this straight. You come in here without a receipt, or any other proof of payment and demand money for a product that you can`t show me?”

    Customer: “Why is that a f****** problem?”

    Me: “Do you honestly not understand that If I allowed that, anyone could come in and claim that they bought something and get money for it without any form of proof?”

    Customer: “Do you think I am lying to you? I am offended!”

    Me: *sigh* “I am going to call the head office and ask them what to do. I need your information, please.”

    (The customer gives me her name, number, etc…)

    Me: “And when did you buy the earrings, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Sometime before Christmas.”

    Me: “So you bought them six months ago and decided to wait until now to make a complaint?”

    (The customer, still not looking me in the eye, or even in my direction, walks around the register and behind it and looks at the sign behind me.)

    Customer: “What is this?”

    Me: “It’s a sign, ma’am. With our store name.”

    Customer: “Yes, but what is this? This place?”

    Me: “[Store].”

    Customer: “YES! BUT WHAT IS IT CALLED?! I am going to tell your boss that you are a disgusting human being, a rat. And you will get fired!”

    Me: “I doubt that, ma’am. They don’t fire people for being right. You have a fantastic day!”

    (The customer ran out screaming. The head office told me I was right and just laughed at this woman.)

    Twenty-One Years And Nine Months

    | UK | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (Overheard at the shop where I work:)

    Coworker: “I’m sorry but we can’t accept a pregnancy test as ID… even if it is positive.”

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