November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

Not The Most Piercing Observation

| Cedar Rapids, IA, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

(A lady has come in to get her tongue pierced. At the moment, she has been looking at jewelry while our lead piercer sterilizes her jewelry.)

Customer: “You guys have a lot of jewelry on sale!”

Me: “We certainly do. We switched to implant grade titanium and these pieces were left from before the switch.”

Customer: “That’s cool! I just don’t understand how someone could wear this piece. I feel like they would bite it.”

Me: “We’ve never had that problem. Mainly because it’s a belly button ring. “

Making Room For Error

| Caddo Valley, AR, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Hotels & Lodging

(It’s almost two am and I am about to start running the night audit when my manager, who stays on the property, calls the front desk.)

Manager: *sounding alarmed* “There’s a guy in our room. He says he can’t find his room. Can you look him up in the computer?”

Me: “Uh… okay.”

(She gives me the man’s name, and I check the computer, but he is not one of our listed guests. I explain this, and she tells me that she’ll send her husband down with the errant guest. A few minutes later, the husband comes in with a man who seems disoriented and smells so strongly of alcohol that I notice it from behind the desk.)

Customer: “…Yeah, my wife checked in, and now I can’t find my room! So I just went around and tried opening doors.”

Me: “Oookay. What’s your wife’s name?”

Customer: “[Name]. Or she might be under [Other Name]. I don’t know. Can you hurry up? I just want to go to sleep.”

(The manager’s husband and I exchange looks. Both he and his wife are sick, and have work at seven in the morning. I’m surprised they didn’t just call the cops when they found a strange man in their room. After about twenty minutes, we manage to explain that there is no record of either the man or his wife checking into our hotel.)

Customer: “Well, sh***! I know it was this hotel! Maybe she checked out and left me?”

Me: “No, sir. Nobody’s checked out since this afternoon.”

Customer: “What am I supposed to do now? I don’t wanna sleep in my car!”

Manager’s Husband: “You know what? You can always rent another room tonight, and we’ll sort this out in the morning.”

Customer: “But I don’t wanna spend any more money!”

Manager’s Husband: *red-eyed and fed up, but still smiling* “Well, you can’t stay with us!”

(Eventually, we persuaded him to check into a room, and he went there to sleep off his hangover. When I came in to work the next night, I found out that he disappeared without a word during the day. We figured he went to the local drinking spot, got blitzed, and ended up at the wrong hotel. We never figured out how he got into the manager’s room, though!)

Treating That Attitude Problem

| England, UK | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

(We frequently get patients acting rudely and/or aggressively to the reception staff for various reasons such as the doctor running late, but the doctors never really believe it as the patient is all nice when they see the doctor. If a patient is rude or aggressive they receive a warning letter and if it happens a second time they are no longer allowed to be seen at this doctors’ office. On this day we have a young female doctor working with us for a few weeks before she returns to Ireland; she looks about 20 and is very small and petite. She is standing in reception when an agitated patient arrives:)

Patient: “I’ve got an appointment with [Young Doctor].”

Receptionist: “Can I take your name, please?”

(The patient gives his name and the receptionist realises his appointment was around 20 minutes earlier.)

Receptionist: “I’m sorry, [Patient], but you’re 20 minutes late for your appointment. I’ll have to ask [Young Doctor] if she will still see you.”

Patient: “You’ve got to be f****** kidding me. I’m only 20 minutes late! The doctors make me wait often enough! Just tell the f****** doctor that I’m here and I’m not leaving until I’ve seen her.”

(At this point the receptionist turns to the young doctor to ask her if she will still see the patient.  She addresses her by her forename but only manages to get her name out before the patient interrupts.)

Patient: “Oh, my god, you stupid cow! Stop gossiping and just go sort it out with the f****** doctor, will you!”

(The doctor leaves to go to the consulting room but quietly tells the receptionist to phone her, which she does. The doctor tells the receptionist she will see the patient and to send him in. After the consultation we found out it went something like this:)

Patient: *smiling* “All right, doc?”

Young Doctor: “[Patient], you were very rude when you were in reception.”

Patient: *starts blushing* “What? I apologised for being late but the receptionist shouted at me. She was the one being rude.”

(The young doctor realises the patient hadn’t recognised her, so repeated his conversation almost word for word. He still denied it all.)

Young Doctor: “[Patient], I was in reception when you arrived. I was the one [Receptionist] turned to when you called her a stupid cow. She was polite to you and didn’t turn you away for being past your appointment time. I will consult with you today but you owe both of us an apology and if we don’t get one I will make sure you receive a warning letter.”

(The patient stammered through an apology, had his consultation, and was reminded on leaving to apologise to the receptionist, which he did!)

Licked Clean(er)

| MO, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body

(A woman and her young child are standing in line, looking at the baked goods on display in glass cases. The child begins licking the glass.)

Coworker: “Uh, ma’am? Could you please keep your son from licking the glass?”

Female Customer: “Don’t worry about it. He’s not hurting anything.”

Coworker: “Maybe not, but I just cleaned the glass, and I’m fairly sure the cleaner is toxic when ingested.”

A Disability At Having A Disability

| USA | Health & Body, Liars & Scammers

(I work in an assisted living facility. Our residents run the range from sharp as a nail to completely senile, and perfectly fit to bedridden. This particular woman, whose health care is paid for by the state, has in her medical records that she cannot stand, cannot use one arm at all, and has limited use of her other. There is nothing wrong with her mentally.)

Me: *forgetting to knock before entering her room* “Hey. Sorry to disturb you. I’m just here to… get your… trash…”

(She’s standing at her sink, washing an apple. We lock eyes, and she slowly lowers herself to the floor.)

Me: “Um…”

Female Customer: “I crawled over, but I can’t get up now.”

Me: “Do you need me to call anyone for help?”

Female Customer: “No. No need to give the nurses extra work. I’ll manage. Would you be all right to come back later?”

Me: “…Sure.”

(Apparently I’m not the first one to catch her. But we could never conclusively prove that she was faking disability.)