Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

Said With The Breast Intentions

| Arlington, VA, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

(I work at a maternity store. I arrive and go behind the counter to clock in. A pregnant customer I have never met is draped over the counter, complaining to my coworker about back pain from her large breasts. She looks at me, glares, and says loudly to my not-large breasts:)

Customer: “Of course, SOME PEOPLE don’t have that problem!”

Me: “Thanks for that.”

If Looks Could Kill

| Newcastle, NSW, Australia | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

 

(After I’ve taken her order in the drive-thru, the customer leans through the window and grabs my hand.)

Customer: “Can I give you some advice?”

Me: “Um…?”

Customer: “You should use Proactiv. It really works; you don’t have to look like that.”

Doesn’t Have A Leg To Stand On, Part 2

| Athens, GA, USA | Awesome Workers, Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(I’m a carhop at the Sonic near my house. I had knee surgery a few months ago and have to wear a pretty heavy brace under my uniform to be able to walk. It also means I can’t skate. People can get pretty rude if you’re not on skates.)

Me: “Hi! Your total is [total].”

Customer: “Why aren’t you on skates?”

(I’m getting annoyed at this point. It’s Super Bowl Sunday and we’re busy.)

Me: “Skating isn’t required. ma’am. Your total is—”

Customer: *angrily* “I’m not going to give you my f****** money unless you’re on skates. I’m paying good money to this place so you should be on skates!”

Me: “I’m sorry. ma’am. I can’t skate. Your total is—”

Customer: “I’m not giving you s*** unless you go put on skates and give me my food!”

(The lady’s yelling at me now, but I’m still trying to be polite.)

Me: “I can’t give you your food until you give me the money, ma’am. And I can’t go put on skates.”

Customer: “WHY THE F*** NOT?!”

(I’m pissed at this point so I just say the first that comes to mind.)

Me: “I can’t skate because it makes my prosthetic leg fall off.”

Customer: “…Huh?”

Me: “The parking lot isn’t very smooth so the vibrations make my leg fall off.”

Customer: “You’re s****** me.”

Me: “No, ma’am, I’m not.”

(I knock on the metal of the brace to get the point across but she still doesn’t look convinced. Placing the tray of food on her car hood I unhook the brace on my leg. It sticks out at a weird angle and legitimately makes it look like I just took off my leg. The lady’s gone sheet white and is gaping like a fish at this point.)

Me: “Lost it last year.”

(I snap the brace back in place and pick the tray back up.)

Me: “Your total is [total].”

(The lady shoved a fifty in my face, grabbed her food, and peeled out of the parking lot. Happy about my thirty-something dollar tip I went back inside to get another order and found my manager and just about every other employee crowded about one of the intercoms and laughing their a**es off.)

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Doesn’t Have A Leg To Stand On

Giving You The Finger

| Helsinki, Finland | Health & Body

(I am admitting walk-in patients in an emergency room. A man walks to me, and he has a bloody handkerchief around his left middle finger. I deduce he has a cut on that finger. However, I am taught to always let the patient explain what has happened to avoid misunderstandings.)

Me: “Good afternoon, sir. What brings you into the emergency room?”

Patient: “This.”

(He drops a severed middle finger on the counter.)

Me: “Oo-kay, then…”

Urine For A Shock

| UT, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

Customer: “Hey, do you guys sell drug tests?”

Me: “Yes! I’ll show you where they are.”

(I show him where the drug tests are, and he comes up to the pharmacy counter to pay for it.)

Customer: “Do you have a cup I could use?”

Me: “…Sure. Let me go get one.”

(I go grab one of the paper cups the pharmacy staff uses.)

Me: “Here you go!”

Customer: “Thanks! Where’s your bathroom?”

(I tell him where the restrooms out in the store are and he goes on his way. Several minutes later he walks back up to the counter and puts his cup on the counter.)

Customer: “So do I just stick the test in here?”

(I look in his cup. Yep. It’s full of pee.)

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Okay! Thanks!”

(Customer walked away. I frantically disinfected myself and the entire counter.)

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