October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

Midwest Going South

| West Yellowstone, MT, USA | Health & Body, Hotels & Lodging, Tourists/Travel

(Most of the time when guests have a clogged toilet they come down or call and ask for a plunger or someone to come up. After all, we really don’t need to know WHY it’s clogged to fix it (and honestly we don’t want you to tell us).)

Guest: “Yeah, could I have a plunger? I just took a good old Midwestern s***!”

Me: “I did not know that was something the Midwest was known for…”

Will Make It Up To You

| Baltimore, MD, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Health & Body

(I work for a popular makeup company that provides free ‘make-unders’ to clients for special occasions and events. I work in a full sized boutique. I have a client in for a homecoming look. She looks about 16. Her mother is there with her as well.)

Client: “This is such a cool job. I’d love to work here.”

Me: “Well, how old are you? You have to be 18 to work here.”

Client: “Darn! I’m 17 for another few months. So close.”

Mother: “Anyway, honey, you need to get a REAL job. You’re better than being a makeup counter girl.”

(I proceed to drop the brush I’m using because I was so surprised that someone would say that right in front of my face. Her daughter looked mortified and gave me an apologetic look. I go behind the counter and get an application.)

Me: “Here, fill out this application. I’ll put in a good word for you when you turn 18.”

A Sharp Surprise

| Winston-Salem, NC, USA | Awesome Workers, Health & Body

(I’m 18, and still go to the pediatrician since I’ve gone to them most of my life. My little sister and I are there for vaccinations, and the staff are very obviously used to little kids.)

Nurse: “Okay, kiddo, I need to give you a shot. Do you want me to count to three, or just go ahead and do it?”

Me: “Surprise me.”

Nurse: “All righty! One, two…” *gives me the shot* “…and three!”

No Point Gagging Over Spoiled Milk

| CT, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

(I’m working behind the customer service desk when an elderly woman approaches with a plastic bag.)

Customer: “I’d like to return this milk and get my $3.69 back.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am. If you give me your receipt, I’ll be happy to help.”

Customer: “I don’t have the receipt. I threw it away somewhere. I don’t know. Just give me the refund. I smelled this milk, and it went very bad!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I’m not allowed to issue refunds on opened dairy products without a receipt, but I can do an exchange if you’d like to go pick up a new one.”

Customer: “I don’t want a new one. I bought this milk this morning and it went very bad, so I’m sure all your milk is bad. I haven’t even had a chance to put it in my fridge yet and it’s already bad!”

Me: *thinking of the record heat wave we were having* “…Ma’am, it’s almost four pm. Are you saying you’ve had the milk in your car all day today?”

Customer: “Yes! Where else would I keep it while I visit my friends?! And it is very bad!”

(She then proceeds to take the plastic jug of milk out of the bag and puts it on the counter. The plastic is transparent and the sun has done a serious number on it; it’s bulging so much that the bottom isn’t flat and the jug is barely standing up straight.)

Me: “Oh , dear lord… Ma’am, you can’t willingly let your milk spoil and then come ask for a refund. Or even an exchange! I’ll have to ask you to take that away.”

Customer: “If you don’t believe me, then smell it!”

Me: “I believe you and I’m not getting near that thing!”

Customer: “No! You smell it right now!” *grabs the jug of milk and waves it at me*

(I start backing away and give a little knock on the door behind me to summon the manager. As he comes out, he sees the bulging container in her hands and gasps.)

Me: “She left it in her car all day. It’s 104°F out there. She wants a refund and she wants me to smell it.”

Manager: *still standing in the doorway behind me* “Ma’am, we can’t possibly give you a refund for being negligent with your items. You’re welcome to grab a new milk if you want.”

Customer: “I don’t want a new one. They’re all bad! See? Smell this!”

(She starts twisting open the cap and everything goes into slow motion as my manager leaps backwards into his office trying to close his door and I reach out to stop her, yelling ‘nooooo!’ Everyone within earshot is watching while she takes the cap off and something comes belching out of the jug: chunky white liquid splashing out onto the counter and the floor. The customer has conveniently opened it facing away from herself and remains clean and upwind.)

Customer: “See? It’s bad. Smell it!”

Me: *retching and on the verge of tears* “Oh, god, I can’t NOT smell it!”

Manager: *cracking open his door with his mouth and nose covered* “Give her the money! Get her out of here!”

(I smother myself with my own arm as I open the register and throw a five dollar bill onto the counter.)

Me: “Here is your refund, ma’am, plus whatever. Please just go!”

(She put the opened milk back on the counter, calmly opened her purse, counted out the $1.31 difference, took the $5, thanked us, and left with a satisfied smile on her face. As I called for the cleaning crew, I grabbed her plastic bag off the counter and felt something inside. She had the receipt the whole time.)

Almost Surgical With Their Inconsideration

| PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(I am a general dentist and have to be out of the office for surgery that is semi-emergency in nature. We call all the patients and let them know why we have to reschedule their appointments and apologize and let them know we have a colleague covering. The night before surgery, I answer the phone and it is one of the patients we had called to reschedule.)

Patient: “You called to reschedule my appointment.”

Me: “I apologize but I’m having surgery tomorrow. When is a good time to get you back?”

Patient: “There’s never a good time. You really can’t see me tomorrow?”

Me: “No. I will be under anesthesia at seven am.”

Patient: “Whatever.”

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