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    Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    Common Sense Is In The Bag

    | Selangor, Malaysia | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (An in-house guest walks back into the hotel lobby.)

    Guest: “I demand to speak to your manager!”

    Me: “Sure, ma’am. I’ll call the manager now.”

    (The manager comes down to the lobby.)

    Manager: “Yes? How can I assist you, ma’am?”

    Guest: “I would like to claim MYR5000 from the hotel for the loss of my bag!”

    Manager: “I am sorry, but when did this happen and where was the last place you kept the bag?”

    Guest: “No. I just bought the bag from the mall and it was snatched by a motorist on my way back. It cost me MYR5000 for the bag. Now it is stolen so the hotel must pay me back!”

    Manager: “I am sorry, ma’am. Would you like to lodge a police report?”

    Guest: “No. Just pay me my money back.”

    Manager: “I am sorry again, ma’am. But the loss of the bag is not the responsibility of the hotel as it happened outside the hotel premises. However, we can send you to the nearest hospital for a check-up if you need it, or the police station to file a report. We are sorry for the loss, but we cannot pay you for something that is not taken by the hotel or our staff.”

    Guest: “But I am your guest and I lost a bag. How is that not your responsibility? I am never coming back and I will tell all my friends and family about your poor attitude!”

    In Too Deep (Voice)

    , | Canada | At The Checkout, Health & Body

    (I’m a fairly feminine looking guy and my voice is relatively high. Sometimes I get mistaken for a girl. I’m checking a lady out at the register.)

    Customer: “You have beautiful eyes. Has anyone ever told you that?”

    Me: “Thank you! That’s very kind of you!”

    Customer: “I see you here all the time and you’re so friendly and fun to talk to. I’d love to speak with your manager about your excellent service!”

    Me: “Wow! Thank you so much! Unfortunately my manager isn’t in today, though. I think she’ll be in tomorrow.”

    Customer: “All right, then. I’ll give the store a call tomorrow to speak with her. What’s your name, Miss?”

    Me: “Sam.”

    Customer: “Your full name?”

    Me: “… Samuel.”

    Customer: “… Oh.”

    Me: *quietly, trying to make my voice a little deeper* “Would you like your receipt?”

    Hair + Arm = Harem

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

    (My uniform exposes my arms that, for a woman, are hairy.)

    Customer: “Wow, you have hairy arms.”

    Me: *embarrassed* “Um, yeah.”

    Customer: “I love women with hairy arms.”

    (He grabs my arm and feels it. I am shocked, and start backing away from him.)

    Customer: “Would you like to join my harem of hairy women?”

    (At that point I abandoned my post and ran to my manager. When we came back the customer was gone.)

    Wouldn’t Wish Him On Your Worst Enema

    | Berkeley, CA, USA | Health & Body, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

    (A customer wanders around drug store for half an hour, feeling too embarrassed to ask where the enemas are.)

    Employee: “Hi. Can I help you?”

    Customer: “Uh, I’m looking for an enema bag.”

    Employee: “Oh… you want a bag? We have some bags.”

    (I lead the customer to a small case full of purses in the cosmetics section.)

    Employee: “Here are the bags.”

    Customer: “Do you know what an enema is?”

    Employee: “No…”

    Customer: “I’ll ask someone else.” *leaves drug store*

    On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 7

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Health & Body, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

    (While I’m cleaning the men’s washroom, a regular has walked in.)

    Me: “I’m sorry. I’ll just be a minute longer and then you can use the washroom.”

    Customer: “Nope. Gotta go now.”

    Me: “Well, then, I’ll leave and finish when you’re done.”

    Customer: “Nah, don’t worry. I don’t have anything to hide.”

    (I only just managed to get out of the room before he finished opening his pants!)

    Related:
    On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 6
    On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 5
    On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 4
    On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 3
    On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 2
    On The Need For Hazard Pay

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