Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

Expecting A High Level Of Service

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Bizarre, Health & Body

(I work at a large department store. I am working the closing shift in the men’s clothing department one night. Two young adults come over to look at the underwear, and they reek of marijuana. As I get closer to them, they stop me to ask me a question.)

Customer #1: “Do you work here?”

Me: *pleasantly* “Yes, I do. How can I—”

Customer #1: “Woah. You act like you don’t even wanna deal with us.”

Customer #2: “Yeah. S***…”

Me: “I’m sorry… What can I help you w—”

Customer #2: “Nah, nah, never mind.”

Customer #1: “Yeah, you already treats bad, as a… customer.”

Customer #2: “I won’t come back.”

(They leave, and I am left to ponder what I could have possibly done. Later, I told my supervisor.)

Supervisor: *laughing* “What? What was their problem?”

Me: “High as kites.”

Supervisor: “Ah. Of course. Say no more.”

I Am (Not) Sick Of All The Attention

| UK | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Health & Body

(I work in the accident and emergency department of a hospital. It’s a Friday night, and Girl #1 has just come in with anaphylaxis. I am with Girl #2 at this point, who came in via ambulance.)

Girl #2: “My friend [Girl #1] is here at the moment, and everyone was fussing over her so much! She’s fine, right?”

Me: “I wouldn’t know; I haven’t seen her.”

Girl #2: “I know she’s fine. Everyone is making such a big deal out of this. That’s why I called the ambulance. She can’t get all the attention to herself!”

Me: *confused* “Wait, what? So there’s nothing wrong with you? Why are you here?”

Girl #2: “But can you make it sound like I’m really ill? I need to be able to trump her!”

Pest Control Out Of Control

| WV, USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Health & Body, Pets & Animals

(I work at a local pharmacy.)

Customer: “I need to buy some Raid.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, let’s go look at the display.”

(We walked to the display, and I began showing her various items.)

Me: “Here’s something for ants—”

Customer: “No, I don’t need that.”

Me: “Okay. Um, here’s something for roaches.”

Customer: “No, I don’t have roaches.”

Me: “Do you have hornets or wasps or something?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Ma’am, can you tell me a little more about what, exactly, you need the Raid for?”

Customer: “My son has lice.”

Me: “Oh! Oh, God. No, ma’am, you don’t want Raid. You want Rid. Please don’t spray Raid on your son’s head!”

Needs To Clean Out More Than The Hard Drive

| NV, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Rude & Risque, Technology

(I work in the electronics section of a home store. I deal mostly with computers, tablets, and the like. A customer is having troubles setting up a computer after purchasing it the previous day. He needs to do a local account reset so the computer can be used like new. I tell him to come back down to the store, because it would be easier to show him how to do it. The customer in question is probably in his 80s. I am a girl in my 20s. My coworker, who is also a girl in her 20s, is standing next to me.)

Customer: *smelling of stale cigarettes and other things* “Hi, I spoke to you on the phone about my computer.”

Me: “Yes, of course. Go ahead and take your computer out and we will plug it in and take care of your issues. Other than the problem that you spoke to me about do you have any questions?”

Customer: “No, I just want to download some things and it won’t let me without a password.”

(I proceed to walk the customer through the steps of resetting the computer, adding accounts, changing passwords, and installing software. All this time I have been touching the computer and inputting the customer’s information so that we can get him out the door. He has me download one last thing and right when we are about to finish up he asks me another normal question.)

Customer: “So, can you show me how to delete files and emails? It has been a long time and this computer is different from my other one.”

Me: “Sure, not a problem. Do you know where your files are located in the computer?”

Coworker: *standing next to me* “Here, they might be located in this section.”

(She looks through the computer, but can’t seem to find anything so I resume my search.)

Customer: “Well, they are more so movies than files….”

(I see where this is going and I sort of freeze up.)

Customer: “Yeah, I was watching a lot of porn last night and I can’t seem to get it off of my computer.”

(I am now slowly removing my hands from the keyboard and suddenly realizing that it didn’t look like he had cleaned the computer before he brought it in. My coworker’s face has gone pale and she slowly walks away from the department to wash her hands. I stand there wishing I could do the same.)

Customer: “Yeah, I was watching a lot of stuff last night and I came across some things that I don’t know if I really wanted to see and now I want you to delete them for me.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “So can you do that, too?”

Me: “No… sir. I can’t attempt to access anything of that… er… nature. If something were to pop up unexpectedly I could be fired… or we could be sued.”

(My coworker has come back and that point and reiterates to the customer what I just said about things of that nature.)

Customer: “Oh… okay. I really wish you could do that for me….”

(He proceeds to ask me to do more and more things as I just sit there stunned that he allowed me to touch his computer knowing what he had done. He refused to type in anything after that. He finally ran out of questions to ask me and started putting his computer away. As he walked away I immediately booked it to the bathroom and scoured my hands with soap and water and then proceeded to empty a bottle of hand sanitizer on them. I then walk to tell my manager what happened, so that I could ask him what I should do if that situation ever occurred again.)

Manager: “The next time that happens, tell him you can’t help him because his computer is now classified as a biohazard.”

Try To Flush This Customer From Your System

| Mankato, MN, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

(I am looking at cold medicine when a man stops me.)

Man: “Excuse me; do you know where the laxatives are?”

(Assuming he had a good reason for asking a stranger, I show him a few aisles over.)

Man: “Oh, this can’t be right… What about suppositories?”

(Very awkward items to ask for, but I find them and try to walk away.)

Man: “This goes where? Oh god! I am trying this new diet thing… But it can’t be correct.”

Me: “Well, there are some diets these days that try to ‘flush’ you out, so it’s not uncommon.”

(Visually perplexed, he sets them back and mumbles:)

Me: “I better rethink this.”

(I quickly wander to a completely different section of the store, and shortly after, he came up to me again.)

Man: “So, do you even work here?”

Me: “No, sir.”

Man: “Huh…” *he slowly walks away*

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