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    Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    The Sad (Pro)State Of Service

    | Adelaide, Australia | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Spouses & Partners

    (I work as a waitress in a small and very busy beach side cafe which attracts a somewhat pretentious crowd.)

    New Colleague: “I’m not sure what that man at table one wanted. He was mumbling a lot.”

    Me: “Oh, don’t worry. I’ll ask.”

    Customer: “Oi, you! Can I get the bill?!” *does ticking bill sign in air*

    Me: “When you’re ready, sir, just come to the front and we can sort it out up there.”

    Customer: “Yeah, I know that but I want the bill here.”

    Me: *grits teeth* “… Sure.”

    (I bring the customer his bill. The customer’s wife waves me aside as her husband exits with a weird waddle in his step.)

    Wife: “Don’t worry, dear. No man is pleasant to be around after a prostate exam.”

    Silver Linen To Every Cloud

    | USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Hotels & Lodging

    (We have multiple very large groups staying with us, so all the extra bed sheets are taken up.)

    Guest: “My child threw up on the bed! I need new linens!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we have no more.”

    Guest: “Nonsense! You are supposed to help! It’s your job! Now fetch my linens and don’t be lazy about it!”

    Me: “Sir, I’m not kidding. We don’t have any more. How am I supposed to get you some more linens when I don’t have what you need?”

    (The guest yells angrily, so I bring the manager out.)

    Manager: “What’s the problem?”

    Guest: “I’ll tell you what’s the problem! This hotel has no more linens! What kind of hotel has no more linens to give!”

    (My manager takes the angry guest out and walks with him someplace. When she returns, she is alone.)

    Me: “What happened?”

    Manager: “I showed him the lobby, which was full of people. I showed him the pool, which was full of people. Then I showed him the hallways, which were also full of people, and told him that every one of them has asked for linens and we ran out. He got real quiet, grunted, and then ran off to his room!”

    His Humor Is A Bit Rusty

    | Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Awesome Customers, Health & Body, One-Liners

    (A patient arrives at the reception desk with some paperwork.)

    Patient: “So, what do I do with this?”

    Me: “This is for some bloodwork. You need to take it to the lab, but you need to have been fasting. That means you can’t eat or drink anything but water for 12 hours before you get your blood drawn.”

    Patient: “Oh, I never drink water. It makes me rust!”

    (The patient then walks away like a robot going ‘squeak, squeak.’ Thank you, sir, for making me laugh! I’d had a crazy day and really needed it!)

    Crazily Honest

    | USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

    (The store I work at is about a block from a mental health services office. We often see their clients in the store and know that some can be a bit eccentric.)

    Me: “Hi. How are you today?”

    Customer: “Not bad for a crazy guy but as long as I take my meds, I’m okay.”

    Me: “Well, there’s something to be said for honesty…”

    Some Customers Will Even Pull Your Hair Out For You

    | TX, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (I am trying to fix the printer on a self-check out machine. I am a girl with long hair pulled back in tight braids and a bun. A loop of hair has snagged on a lag screw on the raised portion of the screen.)

    Me: *calling coworker on the phone* “Hey, I got myself stuck in the self-check. Can you come help me?”

    Coworker: “Sure.”

    (A customer pulls up to her station with a large order. I can’t see her and she can’t see me, so I wait patiently, bent completely over.)

    Customer: *walks up to me* “Can you check these out for me?”

    (The customer hands me a bunch of bolts.)

    Me: “I would be happy to, sir, just as soon as I get unstuck from this machine.”

    Customer: “Have you called anyone to help you yet?”

    Me: “Yes, sir. She should be here in a moment.”

    (There is a very long awkward pause, while the customer just stands there looking at me.)

    Customer: “Well….she’s not here yet. I guess I could help ya out.”

    Me: “I would appreciate that. Thanks!”

    (The customer proceeds to yank violently on my hair. A few strands come completely out of my head. Finally, the loop of hair comes off the lag screw.)

    Customer: “There. Will you ring me out now?”

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