Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

Not Quite Swimming In Emergencies

| Boise, ID, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Health & Body

(I work at the front desk of a pediatrician’s office during their evening hours. This call comes in around 4:30 pm.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Office]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, my daughter is incredibly sick I need to get her in right away.”

Me: “Of course. Can you tell me what is going on?”

Caller: “She is very congested, maybe a sinus or an ear infection. I’m worried about her breathing. I need to get her in as soon as possible. This is very urgent!”

Me: “I understand, but our providers have finished seeing patients for the day. We have a doctor on-call doctor who will be coming in this evening. I can schedule you for 6:30 pm if you are comfortable waiting until then.”

Caller: “Oh, no, that won’t work at all. She has swim lessons at six.”

The Test Is Inconclusive

| Bergen, Norway | Bizarre, Health & Body

(I work as a headmaster and one day drive to the local mall during lunch. One of the teachers asks to ride with me as she has an errand to run. When we get to the mall we split up, and then we meet up at the car a little later to go back to the school. The teacher is nine months pregnant when this happens.)

Teacher: *suddenly laughs, apparently for no reason*

Me: “What?”

Teacher: “I just realized why the shop assistant at the chemist was looking at me as if I am completely nuts!”

Me: “Why?”

Teacher: “Well, one of the girls in my class was really worried that she might be pregnant, and I offered to get a pregnancy test for her. So there I came, waddling in with my huge belly, and I asked where the pregnancy tests were. The look the guy gave me was priceless!”

An Automatic Autistic Response

| CA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Health & Body

(I work at a retail store. We are having a donation opportunity for the month of May where customers can donate money toward autism research. We are supposed to ask every customer if they would like to donate. I finish ringing this customers items up.)

Me: “And would you like to put a dollar towards autism research?”

Customer: “You know, kids would stop getting autism if they stopped all that vaccinating.”

Me: “…have a nice day, sir.”

Have A Heart (Failure)

| Staines, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I am a customer in a supermarket. Unfortunately I am standing by the dairy aisle watching a paramedics team trying to save a man on the floor who’s probably had a heart attack. Both ends of the aisle are crudely boxed off and a member of staff is standing there preventing anyone entering the aisle. At the far end of the aisle there’s a middle-aged woman arguing with the staff member to be quickly let in to just get a tub of spread. She is quietly being told no. The woman must have run down the next aisle because she suddenly appears next to me and starts arguing again with another staff member.)

Customer: “Can you just reach over and pass me a tub of that [Spread]?”

Staff Member: “Ma’am, please, have a bit of sensitivity…”

Customer: “Oh, right! As if he cares one way or another!”

(The rest of us customers stared at each other in disbelief!)

The Sign Of A Bad Week

| Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Health & Body

(Two of the three doctors in our clinic are going on vacation for a week in the middle of summer. We have signs up for a month informing people when they will be away and make sure we tell everyone who calls the dates they will be away for. During the time they are away, there is a huge sign on the door stating the walk-in is closed, as well as a huge sign on the desk that we purposely place directly in the way so people will see it. I am also off for the week while my coworker remains at the office to do paperwork. The next week I return:)

Me: “So, how many people pushed the sign on the desk out of the way to ask you to get in to see the doctor?”

Coworker: “I lost count after 12.”

Me: “When did you hit 12?”

Coworker: *sigh* “Tuesday.”

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