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    Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    It’s All Peachy

    , | St. Paul, MN, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body, Spouses & Partners

    (I work as a sales associate at a large chain bath product store that caters mostly to women. I am stationed at the front of the store, greeting customers and handing out shopping bags. A huge, tough-looking man walks into the store and looks around awkwardly. He looks like a motorcycle gang member from a movie: tattoos, leather, and a bandanna.)

    Me: “Hi! Welcome to [Store]. I’m [Name]. Can I help you find anything today?”

    Customer: *shifts uncomfortably* “Yeah, I need lotion and shower gel.”

    (I knew he felt as out of place as he looked so rather than just pointing, I walk him over to the largest display of bath products.)

    Me: “Are you shopping for someone special?”

    Customer: “Yeah. Me.”

    (He was pointedly not making eye contact with me so I allowed myself a split-second look of shock.)

    Customer: *mutters* “My girlfriend likes it when I smell like a peach.”

    (Needless to say, I walked around the entire store with him. I even introduced him to some new fruity fragrances!)

    Enough To Make You Cry

    | QC, Canada | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (I work in a hotel restaurant. A group of clients have been notoriously difficult, sending back dishes more than once for small details. On a particularly busy night, a waiter walks back into the kitchen and asks about a meal.)

    Waiter: “Does this dish contain onions? The client says he’s deadly allergic.”

    (Hearing this, the chef panics and asks the waiter to bring him to the client.)

    Chef: “Sir, are you all right? Do you have any medicine for your allergy? I’ll call the ambulance right away!”

    (The client is confused and worried.)

    Client: “What? No, I don’t have medicine. Why?”

    Chef: “You told the waiter you were deadly allergic to onions. You should have mentioned it earlier. There were some in the soup.”

    Client: “…oh. I just don’t like onions.”

    Needs To Screen Her Comments

    | VA, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Technology

    (While standing in line at a sandwich shop, I overhear two women talking about one of them getting a new iPad.)

    Woman #1: “Yeah, I got a new iPad. I got black this time because I usually always go with white.”

    Woman #2: “Ew, white is so much better than black. You should have gotten the white.”

    Woman #1: “No, I wanted to match the case I got it.”

    Woman #2: “Don’t you have bad eyes?”

    Woman #1: “Yeah?”

    Woman #2: “Well you should have gotten the white, not the black. Now you are not going to be able to see on it.”

    Woman #1: “When I say it’s black, I was referring to the casing it’s in, not the screen.”

    Woman #2: “Oh!”

    Not Quite Ringing True

    | England, UK | Extra Stupid, Health & Body

    (I have brought my friend into the hospital.)

    Doctor: “What seems to be the problem?”

    Friend: “I think I inhaled my nose ring…”

    Me: *trying not to laugh*

    Doctor: “Do you think you swallowed it?”

    Friend: “Uhm, yes. But I also feel a lump at the back of my throat…”

    Doctor: *does examination* “Okay, I can’t see anything but I’ll send you for an x-ray. When did this happen?”

    Friend: “Three days ago.”

    Doctor: “So you waited three days to get checked out when you thought you had a piece of metal stuck in your throat, yet you’re breathing, eating, and drinking fine for those three days?”

    Friend: “Yeah.”

    Doctor: “Okay, I’ll send you for an x-ray.”

    (Not surprisingly, the x-ray came back clear and almost everyone was trying to hold in their laughter!)

    Countering Those At The Counter

    | IN, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (I’m in line at the pharmacy. It’s been a long day, and I just want to pick up my prescription and go home. The customer in front of me has a basket full of groceries.)

    Customer: “I need to pick up my medicine! And I want to pay for my groceries here. I only have six things.”

    Pharmacist: “Sure, let me get those for you.”

    (The customer puts way more than six grocery items on the counter. I am beyond irritated at this point since she’s making me wait. As the pharmacist scans the groceries, however, I decide not to let it get to me. The wait isn’t that much longer, and I’m next in line anyway.)

    Pharmacist: “… and there you go. You’re all set. Have a nice evening!”

    Customer: “You too.”

    (The customer turns to go and notices me standing in line behind her.)

    Customer: *to me* “Excuse me.”

    Me: “Oh, it’s no problem—”


    (She grabs her stuff and storms off in a huff, leaving both me and the pharmacist speechless.)

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