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    Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    The Coupon Situation Is Fluid

    | UT, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

    (I overhear a woman complaining down the phone:)

    Woman: “I ATE AT [FAST FOOD PLACE] LAST NIGHT, AND I GOT SO SICK, I HAD DIARRHEA!”

    (There is a pause, with the other line presumably apologizing profusely.)

    Woman: “Can I get some coupons?”

    Allergic Overreaction

    | Yorkshire, England, UK | Health & Body, Wild & Unruly

    (I work at a large chemist’s shop in North Yorkshire. I am about halfway through my shift when a woman comes running into the shop and up to the register. She is scratching herself really fast and making weird faces.)

    Me: “Good morning, ma’am. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “ALLERGIC REACTION!”

    Me: “I’m sorry…?”

    Customer: “ALLERGIC REACTION!”

    Me: “Okay… what about it?”

    Customer: “ARE YOU STUPID OR WHAT? I NEED MEDICINE! ALLERGIC REACTION!”

    (I was quite alarmed by this point and other customers in the shop were starting to stare.)

    Me: “Right, what caused your reaction? Is it animal related, or—”

    Customer: *scratching like mad* “I DON’T KNOW! ALLERGIC REACTION!”

    Me: “Yes, but to give you the correct medication we need to know what caused your reaction. What—”

    Customer: “I DON’T F****** KNOW WHAT CAUSED IT! ALLERGIC REACTION! GIVE ME SOMETHING TO MAKE IT STOP ITCHING!”

    Me: “But, ma’am…”

    (The customer was now running around the store pulling items from the shelves before throwing them to the ground.)

    Customer: “WHERE IS THE F****** ALLERGIC REACTION MEDICINE? I NEED IT NOW!”

    (The manager, hearing the commotion, runs out from the back room.)

    Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “I NEED MEDICATION FOR AN ALLERGIC REACTION AND THIS F****** S*** WON’T GIVE ME IT!”

    Manager: “What caused your reaction, ma’am?”

    Customer: “I. DON’T. F******. KNOW!”

    Manager: “In that case we can’t help you. Have a nice day, ma’am.”

    Customer: “F*** YOU! WHEN I DIE I’M GONNA COME GET YOU FIRED!”

    (The customer runs out of the store screaming ‘ALLERGIC REACTION!’)

    Not Showing Growth As A Person

    | PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Health & Body

    (I am a male with long hair. Sometimes when I feel like being a smart-a**, most of the time really, I end up having this conversation with other long haired men, in this case being a worker at a retail place. People tend to respond the same way, so it usually plays out the same way.)

    Me: “That long hair makes you look like a girl.”

    (The clerks features rapidly shift to annoyance, then confusion when they see my long hair, then anger.)

    Clerk: “Well, YOUR long hair makes you look like a girl, too!”

    Me: “No. No, it doesn’t. You see *points* I have a beard. So, my long hair makes me look look a dumba**. YOUR long hair makes you look like a girl.”

    Clerk: *stunned*

    Me: “Why don’t you have a beard?”

    They Have It Made

    | ON, Canada | Geography, Health & Body, Transportation

    (I work night shift at a very popular Canadian coffee chain. Four drunk customers walk into the store, barely able to stand. I spot a white limo outside and these customers are dressed like they’ve been out clubbing.)

    Me: “Hey, there. What can I get you ladies?”

    Drunk Customer: “Hey, um, I have a question?”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Drunk Customer: “Um, what city are we in?”

    Me: *stammering* “P-pardon me?”

    Drunk Customer: “Oh, my God. Are you deaf? What CITY are we in?”

    Me: “Erm… you’re in between [City #1] and [City #2].”

    Drunk Customer: *turns back to her friends* “OH, MY GOD, GUYS! WE MADE IT!”

    (It turned out that the ladies had been gambling in Niagara Falls, about three hours away. After asking for the address of the place and reassuring me that they lived in City #1 and they were headed home (they thought), they left without asking for anything and I was left to wonder exactly how intoxicated one had to be to be that lost and that un-phased by it.)

    Hard Of Hearing For Hard Customers

    | Wichita Falls, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Health & Body

    (I’m deaf in one ear and hard of hearing in the other. Since I’ve been like this all my life, I’ve learned to adjust as well as I could. I have a habit of tilting my head and leaning in with my good ear. Most people don’t say anything or don’t even notice. I was serving this customer when this happened.)

    Me: “Welcome to [Store]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “I want a…” *mumbles while looking down*

    Me: “I’m so sorry. I didn’t catch that.”

    Customer: *looks annoyed and mumbles it again*

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry. I’m hard of hearing, and I just can’t catch what you’re saying. Would you speak up just a bit, again I’m sorry.”

    (She finally looks up and rolls her eyes.)

    Customer: “What, they actually hire you people now?”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “If you can’t hear like a normal person then you shouldn’t be working!”

    Me: *starting to get upset* “I’m sorry you feel that way, but I like working, and since I can work, I’d rather do that than go on disability.”

    Customer: “Well since you can work just soooo well, then I guess you heard my order. And I’m not repeating it.”

    Me: “I didn’t hear it ma’am, and I don’t really want to just take a guess at your order.”

    Customer: *very loudly* “Then get me another server, you freak!”

    (Luckily my manager overheard and escorted her out, telling her not to come back. Thankfully, most people are actually really nice about it, and will just speak up.)

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