Featured:
  • My Roommate Is My Pet Hate
    (951 thumbs up)
  • September Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    Makes You Freeze In Place

    | Phoenix, AZ, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

    (I work in a fairly large grocery store. Arizona heat can be brutal. As I am walking around the store, I see a shopping cart full of ice cream, but since it’s so hot, I don’t think much of it. As I am walking down the aisle, I look and see a man INSIDE the freezer.)

    Me: “Sir! Please come out of the freezer!”

    Customer: “No!”

    Me: “Sir, you could suffocate in there!”

    Customer: *in a whiny voice* “But it’s hot outside!”

    Makes An Age Of Difference

    | Canada | At The Checkout, Health & Body

    (I’m in my early twenties but I look younger than I am. Many people comment on it, asking if I’m old enough to be a cashier. This happens near the end of my shift one night, close to my twenty-second birthday.)

    Me: “So, your total comes to [total].”

    Customer: *as he’s paying with his card* “You look young, but you have the mannerisms and grace of someone in their twenties and sound older than you look.”

    Me: “Thank you?”

    Customer: “You look young, but you’re probably mid-twenties, maybe 24?”

    (After two years of people saying I look like I’m 12, or that I look too young to work, this is the best thing to hear. I must be grinning like crazy at this.)

    Customer: “Based on your expression, you don’t hear that too often.”

    Me: “You have no idea. I’m close to 22, but your guess is the closest I’ve heard in the two years I’ve been working here.”

    Customer: “Seriously? You have the manner and grace of someone in their early-to-mid twenties!”

    Me: *handing him his receipt* “Thank you for that. Not many people are happy to be asked if they’re older than they are. Have a good night!”

    Irritable Book Syndrome

    | Greenville, NC, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Books & Reading, Health & Body

    (A customer walks in already carrying one of our bags so I know it’s a return. Even worse it’s our Christmas bag and it’s currently June. She gets to the register, slams her bag on the counter and immediately jumps into a story. I pull the receipt out just to check the date and it says December 14th.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry but the receipt says December 14th and I’m looking and these two books rang up to $100. If it wasn’t so much there—”

    Customer: *cuts me off* “No. No. NO! I already told you these aren’t for me. These were for my friend’s birthday and he’s already got them and I have no use for them.”

    Me: “I understand that but we have a two-weeks with a receipt policy and—”

    Customer: “Focus! These aren’t for me, okay?! I have no need for them and you will give me my money back!”

    (I attempt to speak again but she cuts me off again)

    Customer: “I’m done with you. I want a manager. Don’t say anything else, just get your manager. Shush.”

    (I call my manager, who threatened to fire me two weeks prior for returning a $20 book that was four days past the two-week policy.)

    Manager: “Hi, what seems to be the issue?”

    (The customer then explains how I’m an idiot, these books aren’t for her, and she doesn’t care about our policy and wants her money back.)

    Manager: “Oh, oh, well, absolutely. [My Name]? Ha! I’m sorry he just doesn’t understand. It’s ok, buddy, we’ll have a training sesh on this later.”

    (The manager walks away as the lady smugly stands there waiting for her money. A line has now formed behind her. The next person in line is a younger guy. I then pull out the books to ring them up. The first is called ‘Headaches in the Pelvic Region’ and the second is ‘Irritable Bowel Syndrome and Your Life.’ I then notice she used her discount card so I subtract the savings.)

    Customer: “Whoa, whoa, whoa. What was that?”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, you used your discount card and got 10% off. I just subtracted that.”

    Customer: “Well, how much were those books?!”

    (I speak loud enough for the line that had built up behind her to hear.)

    Me: “Well… YOUR ‘HEADACHES IN THE PELVIC REGION’ BOOK WAS $50 AND YOUR ‘IRRITABLE BOWEL SYNDROME AND MY LIFE’ WAS $50!”

    (The customer tries to shush me then angrily snatches her money. The younger customer walks up, lays his purchases on the counter, and then mumbles:)

    Next Customer: “B**** would have IBS.”

    Raise A Broken Glass To That Employee

    , | Supermarket | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (I’m a manager at a popular grocery chain. A certain brand of pasta has just been recalled due to some broken glass getting mixed into some of the batches of boxes and as a precaution, all boxes are removed from the store. One of my new employees, a high school part-timer, is stocking shelves with me. She’s so timid that she makes a rabbit look exciting, but she is normally very good with customers. On this day, a well-dressed older gentleman approaches her and asks about the pasta brand.)

    Employee: “Oh, sorry, sir. That brand has been involuntarily recalled.”

    (Most people understand that that means we have none of it and I thought it would be the end. However, when I hear her scream suddenly, I turn to see the man has hurled his shopping basket at her face and she’d barely managed to duck in time.)

    Man: YOU’RE F******* KIDDING ME! I NEED THAT FOR MY GRANDSON’S BIRTHDAY TOMORROW! YOU’RE GOING TO GET THAT SCRAWNY LITTLE A** BACK IN THAT F****** STOCKROOM AND GET THAT F****** BRAND NOW!!

    (I’m about to storm over, but to my surprise and amazement, my employee gets right up, composes herself and turns.)

    Employee: “Right away, sir. I’ll be right back.”

    Man: “WALK FASTER, YOU LITTLE SNOT! I’M IN A HURRY!”

    (Dumbfounded, I watch as she goes to the back for a minute and comes back out with one of the recalled boxes AND the notice stating the recall. She hands him the box.)

    Employee: “Is this what you wanted, sir?”

    Man: “YES! You’re too f****** slow!”

    Employee: “My apologies. Oh, and sir, could I get your grandson’s name, please? I’d like to send him a get-well soon card in a few days when he’ll have to be hospitalized.”

    Man: *whirls around* “WHAT?!”

    Employee: “Oh, yes, sir. Eating broken glass is sure to lacerate his insides horribly. He’ll be hemorrhaging blood, no doubt, maybe throwing it up as well. It’s really not a pretty sight. That’s why this brand has been recalled and taken off the shelves. Some broken glass got into the mixing vats at the factory. But if you’re so insistent on having THAT brand of pasta, then I guess it can’t be helped.”

    Man: “Y-YOU’RE S****** ME?!”

    Employee: “No, sir, I’m afraid I’m serious. We have some generic brands of the same thing that’ll taste about the same if you’d like.”

    Man: *pales considerably and drops the box* “Uh… y-yeah, sure. Can… uh, can you show me where they are? Maybe?”

    Employee: “Of course. They’re right here, and they’re actually cheaper!”

    The Highs And Lows Of Retail

    | Natick, MA, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

    (I’m a bag girl and I’m bagging a customer’s groceries. An extremely tall man, like, 6’8″, 6’9″, comes over to me while I’m working.)

    Man: “Hey, did you know you’re, like, really short?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    (I’m 4’11” and, while I’m not terribly sensitive about my height, I can’t believe he actually said this.)

    Man: “Well, compared to me, you’re really short.”

    Me: “And so is Stevie over there; he’s six feet. You are a rather tall person, sir. Excuse me, please, you’re blocking the bags.”

    Man: *suddenly offended* “It’s so rude of you to say something like that about my height. That’s a sensitive topic for tall people.”

    (The cashier is trying really hard not to laugh and the customer, who is maybe 5’2″, is staring at the man like she can’t believe this guy is for real.)

    Me: “It’s rather sensitive for short people, too, and you really were incredibly impolite about MY height. Please move; I need to bag this order.”

    (He stomps off in a huff and I turn to finish bagging the customer’s order.)

    Customer: “Do you take tips? You deserve one after handling that man.”

    Me: “I’ll take any tip that doesn’t involve drinking more milk so I can grow.”

    Page 1/12512345...Last