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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    Asking Ballsy Questions

    | Roseville, CA, USA | Health & Body, Rude & Risque, Themed Giveaway

    Female Customer: “I’d like to return these men’s underwear.”

    Return Counter Clerk: “That’s fine. Was there something wrong with them?”

    Female Customer: *with a totally straight face* “My husband says his balls keep falling out of them.”

    (No further questions!)

    A Messy Apology

    | Hattiesburg, MS, USA | Health & Body, Hotels & Lodging, Rude & Risque, Themed Giveaway

    (I work the afternoon shift at a mid-market hotel, so I make a lot of welcome calls to guests that have checked in just to make sure that they like the room.)

    Me: “Hey, this is [My Name] at the front desk. How are you?”

    Guest: “I’m good!”

    Me: “Wonderful. How do you like the room so far?”

    Guest: “Oh, the room’s great, except for the semen we found on the floor… Oh, wait, that’s mine!”

    Me: *stammering for the right words* “Um, ok, well, if you have any questions or if you need anything just let me know.”

    (The guest called back around five minutes later with an apology and an explanation. Apparently, he thought I was a friend of his by the same name that was due to check in to the hotel later that afternoon. Suffice it to say he was incredibly embarrassed.)

    Should Have Released The Booking

    | Fort Collins, CO, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body, Hotels & Lodging, Rude & Risque, Themed Giveaway

    (The phone rings at about 4 am.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Hotel]. This is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Yes. I need to place a reservation for Monday, checking out Wednesday.”

    Me: “Absolutely. Let me check the rates for those nights.”

    (We continue our conversation; he is booking a room normally enough until I ask for credit card information.)

    Me: “Okay, you’re all set. I just need a credit card to hold the room.”

    Caller: *sounding a little taken aback* “Oh, yes… of course… Let me get my card for you. Hold on.”

    (This is followed by two minutes of muffled sounds.)

    Caller: *clearly out of breath* “Okay, sorry, had to go upstairs. Hang on, let me grab it.”

    Me: “Umm. Okay.”

    (Another 45 seconds of muffled panting.)

    Caller: “All right. Got it.” *gives me the number* “So… have you ever just, you know, needed a release?”

    Me: *pretending to not hear the question* “I’m sorry.? What was that?”

    Caller: “Okay. Thanks for all your help!” *hangs up*

    (He never showed up or called to cancel and his credit card info was expired.)

    Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers

    | Norway | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Rude & Risque

    (When I was born, there were serious complications, and doctors had to step in to keep both me and my mother alive. They tore all my muscles and damaged a lot of nerves in my neck. I went to a physical therapist for many years. I hardly ever notice it now, 20 years later, but once in a while, after lifting heavy items for a long period of time, my back acts up and it hurts a lot. All of my coworkers know this, and despite this, I’m a very hard worker. A customer in his 40s walks in, skips right across the line, and to me, where I’m currently working on a problem with a coffee machine. He sets an empty can of gas, the steel type, down on the floor next to me. I have equipment all over the counter and floor, trying to figure out the problem with the machine. It is also worth mentioning that I live in a small town, where everyone knows everyone. I have hardly ever dealt with rude customers because of this, and it’s well known that we can take abuse until a certain point.)

    Customer: “I need you to go out to your gas cabinet and fetch me a new one of these.”

    Me: “Sure, let me just clean up a little here.”

    Customer: “Do you think I have time for that?! Do you know who I am? I have other places to be!”

    Me: “All right, then.”

    (I shuffle all the pieces and tubes onto the counter, hoping no one will brush them off and step on them. I run out to the cabinet, open the lock, grab a new can, and head back inside. Right as I walk into the store, I get insanely painful cramps in my back, I manage to scoot over to the customer and set the can down, obviously in pain, but I smile and shrug it off to my coworkers.)

    Customer: “You teens are so useless these days! All you do is stare at your phones and your computers! Look at you, you can’t even carry a can of gas! You’re all useless! Now hurry up, for f*** sake! I’m going to a very important job interview over at [local entrepreneur, with the owner’s name as a company name]!”

    (The other customers have been startled at his behavior by now, but at the mentioning of said company, many of them snicker.)

    Me: “You know what? My neck was nearly broken when I was born. I have worked at [Gas Station] for three years, and never have I had a more rude and pretentious customer than you. I want you to calm down so we can finish this transaction. You’re startling the other customers.”

    Customer: “Does it look like I give a s***!?”

    Me: “That’s it.”

    (I pick up the phone and dial a number. My boss is looking at me with approval.)

    Me: *on the phone* “Hey, Dad, I want you to know there’s a man in his 40s, drives a green Honda CRV, who said he’s heading over for an interview with you today. He has been a real pain in the butt, and if you hire him, I’m not giving you grandchildren.”

    (The customer’s face goes pale. He looks at me, the other customers who are now laughing at him, and scurries out the door, leaving both his old and the new can behind. My dad didn’t hire him, either.)

    Doesn’t Have A Leg To Stand On

    , | UK | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (Four months before this, I broke my leg very badly while at university. I am currently working in a shop at home over the holidays. I’m at the checkouts and see a lady with her arm in a sling trying to cut in front of a very long queue.)

    Me: “Excuse me, ma’am. The queue starts over there.”

    Customer: “I was standing in [other queue] for ages before someone told me it was a self service!”

    Me: “Sorry, but all these people have been queuing.”

    Customer: “It’s a bloody outrage. Your signs aren’t at all clear!”

    Next Customer In Line: “Oh, just let her go.”

    Me: “Okay…”

    Customer: “I’ve got a sprained wrist. You people have no idea how much pain I’m in! I shouldn’t be treated like this! I’ve a good mind to speak to your manager!”

    Me: “Actually, I do know. Four months ago, I broke my leg in six places and had to have several operations to fix it. I’ve been walking on it for less than a month. In order to fund myself through medical school, so I can be a doctor and help people, I’m spending nine hours a day standing on my feet serving customers who can’t do anything but complain.”

    (The customer looked ashamed, mumbled a ‘sorry,’ and was polite from then on, avoiding the angry glares the other customers in line were giving her.)


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