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    Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    Think They Can Call All The Shots

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

    (Our office is closed during lunch so that the nurses and receptionists can eat, and the shot clinic isn’t even open on this day. We have signs up on the windows and doors announcing this, but we still have people that try to get in during lunch, shake the doors, and then complain later that the receptionists wouldn’t let them in. As a result, the front office people tend to stay out of sight of the window when the office is closed. Sometimes, we’ve even hidden under the desks to keep patients from thinking we were open. I walk out of my part of the office and freeze. There’s a woman standing at the front door impatiently. I’m not clocked in, so I call for my coworker, who is technically also off the clock.)

    Coworker: “Can I help you? ”

    Patient: “Where is everyone? The door was locked!”

    Coworker: “The office is closed for lunch right now.”

    Patient: “I wasn’t sure. That’s why I went around to the back and knocked.”

    Me: *shocked* “You… went to the back?”

    (The back of the office is the break room and where we park our cars. The patients are not supposed to go back there, and this is the first one that’s been bold enough to try.)

    Patient: “Yeah, but nobody answered. I need to get my shot!”

    Coworker: ” Ma’am, the shot room is closed.”

    Patient: “What? Why?”

    Coworker: ” We don’t give shots today.”

    Patient: ” Wait, since when have you started doing that?”

    Coworker: “… Ma’am, we’ve NEVER given shots on this day of the week.”

    Patient: “WELL, YOU SHOULD!”

    Won’t Be Seen But Definitely Heard

    | USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Spouses & Partners, Theme Of The Month

    (A call comes in a little after 4 pm:)

    Customer: “How do I get to your office? We were up by [Hospital] and we didn’t see your building…”

    Me: “Ah, we’re actually not near them. But I can get you here from there!”

    (I then give them the most complete directions I can for a trip that should only take perhaps fifteen minutes at the most. They thank me and ask if we will be able to see them that day. I assure them that as long as they can get here before five, we can. I’m under the impression that they will only be a few minutes. As time goes on and they don’t show up I assume they have just decided ‘forget it; I’ll go home.’ At a few minutes after five, before I have a chance to even lock the doors for the evening, a troop of three people walk in: our lost patient, expecting that she can get in that day.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m so sorry, but we’re actually closed—”

    (The customer’s husband shouts over me, loud enough that the nurses later tell me they could hear him.)

    Customer’s Husband: “No! Don’t you listen to her. She told you you could get in! You said she could get seen today!”

    Me: *trying to keep my temper* “Actually, sir, what I said was as long as you came in before five pm we could see you.” *to his wife* “I’m sorry, ma’am, but as we’re closed for the day you’ll have to reschedule.”

    Customer’s Husband: “No! YOU SAID SHE COULD BE SEEN TODAY! DON’T YOU LISTEN TO HER. YOU’RE GONNA BE SEEN!”

    Me: *deciding I can’t fight stupid* “Let me go check with the doctor, and see if we can fit you in.”

    (When I got back to the nurse’s station, I managed to catch the doctor coming out of the last patient’s room, and upon explaining the situation he agreed – we wouldn’t bend the rules. When I got back up front to explain the situation, the lady was very polite and understanding, willing to reschedule her appointment to later the next week, while her husband stood back behind her declaring the whole time that we would be seeing her that day because we had said we would. That was the only time I’ve ever had someone argue the closing time with me, and I really hope it doesn’t happen again.)

    Charged With Time-Wasting And Battery

    | KY, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Technology, Theme Of The Month, Transportation

    (I work at a battery store, and one of the most popular items we have are reconditioned car batteries. I’m gladly closing up the store. I have my arm in a sling since I had dislocated my shoulder a few days before. Some customers roll up:)

    Customer: “We want a reconditioned battery.”

    (By the boss’s instruction, I was to keep the shop open and take care of customers when they came in. So, I get them rung up.)

    Customer: “And we want you to install it.”

    (This is a problem, because it is a Dodge Stratus, which means you have to take the wheel off the car to get to the battery.)

    Me: “Okay, but the surcharge will be [total].”

    Customer: “What! That is ridiculous. I won’t pay that much!”

    Me: “Then I can’t do it.”

    Customer: “Fine! But hurry up!”

    Me: “It will take a little longer because my arm is in a sling.”

    (After more arguing, I finally got started installing the battery. They all walked down the street to a convenience store. An hour and a half after closing, I got the job done, while they stood there and complained that I had taken so long.)

    Closing Time Is A Vicious Cycle Accident

    | Cedar Rapids, IA, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at a popular home-improvement store. At two minutes to closing time a man comes dashing through the door. This happens regularly, so I think nothing of it.)

    Me: *joking* “Better run!”

    Customer: *with a huge grin on his face* “Yeah, I crashed my bike getting here!”

    (As he runs past me, I see that he’s bleeding in several places on his side and arm, but I have no time to say anything before he’s off down an aisle. A couple minutes later, he comes back with a large box of nails cradled in the crook of his arm.)

    Me: “Woah, hold on. Are you okay? Let me get you some bandages—”

    Customer: *still grinning* “Nah, I’m fine. I think I dislocated my shoulder, though. Does it look bad?”

    (I look, and sure enough, the joint is popped out of its socket. He heads over to the checkout counter, grinning the whole time.)

    Me: “It looks terrible! Oh, my god. You need medical attention. Do you want me to call you an ambulance?”

    Customer: “Nope, don’t call an ambulance.”

    Me: “Are you sure? That looks like it really hurts!”

    Customer: *cheerfully* “It really hurts!”

    Me: “You’re bleeding and your shoulder is dislocated! You need to go to a doctor or something at least!”

    Customer: “Yeah, or something. See ya!”

    (He grabbed his stuff and dashed out the door. It was the end of my shift, so my supervisor made me go clock out in spite of my begging her to let me stay to make sure he was all right. When I got back, he was gone. I can only hope the crazy dude got himself to a hospital.)

    Only One Left

    | Sweden | Extra Stupid, Health & Body

    (I am an optometrist, selling glasses and contact lenses. A customer calls me up to ask about some contact lenses I sent to him in the mail.)

    Customer: “Hi, I’m just calling to ask you which of the lenses is for which eye!”

    Me: “I’m sorry! I am usually so careful about these things. I can’t believe I forgot to mark them.”

    Customer: “Yeah, it says ‘right’ on one of the boxes, but what about the other one?”

    Me: “Uh, then the other one would be for your left eye.”

    Customer: “Great, thanks!” *hangs up*

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