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    Category: Geography

    You may call them “lost”, but we prefer the name “geographically disadvantaged.”

    Inferior Knowledge On Lake Superior

    | Victoria, BC, Canada | Extra Stupid, Geography

    (I work at a movie theatre in a museum which specializes in showing documentary features. We currently have one about the Great Lakes.)

    Customer: “Excuse me! What’s the next movie about?”

    Me: “Well, it’s mostly about the attempts to re-introduce sturgeon into the rivers surrounding the Great Lakes and—”

    Customer: “Well yeah, but which Great Lakes?”

    Me: “Um… all of them.”

    Customer: “No, WHICH GREAT LAKES? Like, the ones in Canada, or the ones in America?”

    Me: “Uh, I’m pretty sure they’re the same lakes.”

    Customer: “No no no, there are the Great Lakes of Canada, and the Great Lakes of America. They’re different.”

    Me: “Well, I think the border runs through most of them—”

    Customer: “Who would put a national border in the middle of lake? Honestly, you’d think they’d teach you something about the movies you play here.”

    That’s Natch The Way You Say It

    | Robeline, LA, USA | Funny Names, Geography, Language & Words, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    Customer: “How do I get to ‘Natchy-toe-chess?’”

    Me: “It’s pronounced ‘Nak-a-tesh,’ and it’s a straight shot from here.”

    Customer: “Oh, wow. I was way off, wasn’t I?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

    Customer: “What about that ‘Provencial’ place I saw on a sign?”

    Me: “It’s ‘Prahv-en-saw.’”

    Customer: “Wow. Then I suppose the name of this town isn’t ‘Robe-line?’”

    Me: “No, ma’am, it’s ‘Ro-buh-lean.’”

    Customer: “Next year I’m going on vacation in Texas. None of the places there have such weird names!”

    Lightning Fast Sarcasm

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Geography, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (I work at an outdoor log flume attraction in a theme park. We have just closed the line, and are not letting anyone else in due to there being lightning nearby.)

    Guest: “Do you know when the ride will open again? When can I come back?”

    Me: “The best answer I can give you is whenever the storm passes.”

    Guest: “And when will that be?”

    Me: “…ma’am, I don’t know. It’s a storm.”

    Guest: “Well, you live here! You should know how long the storms in Orlando last!”

    Me: “Well, we had a storm yesterday that lasted ten minutes, and one the day before that lasted three hours, so I’d say come back between ten minutes and three hours.”

    Guest: *sarcastically* “Thanks for the help!” *storms off*

    No Vocation For Location, Part 6

    | Israel | Extra Stupid, Geography, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (I am a South African, working at a hotel restaurant in Israel. The establishment has both servers and guests from all over the world. Generally people are interested in finding out where people are from and why they’re here. One day I am clearing a table for an American couple.)

    Me: “Shalom! I hope you enjoyed your meal. May I take your plates?”

    Husband: “Yes, please. It was great.”

    Wife: “Hey, you sound weird. Where are you from?”

    Me: “I’m from South Africa.”

    Wife: “Really?! South Africa… where is that?”

    Me: “Err…”

    Husband: *embarrassed* “Honey, it’s in Africa. If you look at a map, it’s right down at the bottom.”

    Wife: “Oh…” *blank look* “Oh! Kangaroos, right?”

    Husband: “Err…” *looks at me apologetically*

    Me: *just smiles* “I hope you enjoy the rest of your stay!”

    Related:
    No Vocation For Location, Part 5
    No Vocation For Location, Part 4

    A Welsh of Knowledge, Part 2

    | Wales, UK | Geography, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    Tourist: “Oh, nice! This is a bona fide English castle!”

    Me: “Actually, sir, it’s not. Wales is not part of England.”

    Tourist: “What? Oh, come on! You both drive on the wrong side of the road; it’s the same! Your capital is London.”

    Me: “Er, no, sir. It’s Cardiff.”

    Tourist: “Well, but Wales is just a state of England, like Philadelphia in the States.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but England doesn’t have states; it has counties, and Wales is not one of them. We have our own counties. Moreover sir, Philadelphia is a city, not a state.”

    Tourist: “Don’t embarrass yourself, kid. You don’t even know about England even though you’re English, so please don’t bring up America; leave it to us.”

    Me: “No, sir, I’m not English. I’m Welsh; not quite the same. And Philadelphia is still not a state anyway.”

    Tourist: “I’m American! I know what I’m talking about!”

    (One of the tourists friends comes over.)

    Tourist’s Friend: “I’m sorry for his behavior; you must think all ‘Yanks’ are ignorant.”

    Me: “No, not at all. Most ‘Yanks’ that come here are actually very polite and knowledgeable, and they really like Wales.”

    Tourist: “You mean England!”

    A Welsh Of Knowledge


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