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    Category: Geography

    You may call them “lost”, but we prefer the name “geographically disadvantaged.”

    A Whole New World

    | NC, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Language & Words

    (I’m spending the summer with my grandmother in a small southern town, but I’m from Connecticut.)

    Me: “Hello, I’m [name]. I’ll be your server today. Can I start you off with something to drink?”

    Customer: *in a thick southern drawl* “What an unusual accent! Where are you from?”

    Me: “I’m from New England.”

    Customer: “How lovely! I’ve always wanted to go to Europe!”

    Chip Quip

    , | NM, USA | Food & Drink, Geography, Language & Words

    (I’ve recently moved to the USA from England, and have got myself a job in a fast food place. I keep saying chips instead of fries, which causes confusion.)

    Me: *to coworker* “Can I get two medium chips to go please?”

    Customer: “No, I wanted fries.”

    Me: “Oh yeah, my bad. I’m still not used to talking American.”

    Customer: “So where you from? Mexico?”

    (I have tanned skin, so this is a common question.)

    Me: “No mate, I’m British.”

    Customer: “Oh, I see. So you’re not used to speaking English?”

    Me: “What? Us Brits speak English too; we invented the language.”

    Customer: “Oh sweetie, don’t worry! You’ll learn real English in America.”

    Me: “Okay.” *I decide to throw in a British colloquialism* “Here’s your order. Have a pukka day!”

    Customer: “See, I knew you British didn’t speak English.”

    Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 10

    | Halifax, NS, Canada | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Geography

    (I work in a little bakery. It’s been a quiet evening when a customer’s car comes speeding in to a parking spot outside the front door. She gets out of her car with her cell phone in her out-stretched arm. She looks utterly confused as she enters the store.)

    Me: “Hi there!”

    Customer: “Yeah, hi.”

    (The customer spins in a slow circle and looks around.)

    Me: “Can I help you with anything?”

    Customer: *looks at her phone* “Yeah, I’m looking for [address of location].”

    Me: “You found it!”

    Customer: “NO! My phone is saying this is [coffee shop]. This is supposed to be [coffee shop]!”

    Me: “Oh, yeah. It used to be over two years ago, but they closed down and we moved in.”

    Customer: “NO! My phone is saying that this is the location of the coffee shop. Where is it!?”

    Me: “They closed over two years ago—”

    Customer: “NO! Phones are not wrong. This is supposed to be [coffee shop]!”

    Me: *looks around the bakery, than back to the customer* “Nope, this is [bakery]. Sorry to disappoint you.”

    Customer: “I’m sorry; I’m just not understanding.”

    (I have no idea how much more clearly I can let this customer know that the coffee shop closed down and she is standing in a bakery.)

    Me: I’m sorry, ma’am, but this is [bakery]. There is another coffee shop down the road though.”

    Customer: “Okay, I guess I’ll go down the street. But you’re sure there isn’t a coffee shop here?”

    Me: “One thousand percent sure. Have a wonderful evening.”

    (I watch her leave the store. She sits in her car for 10 minutes playing with her phone. I see violent movements coming from the car, so I call my coworker to the front. We watch while she violently shakes her phone and yells. I hope she finds that coffee shop and gets a decaf!)

    Related:
    Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 9
    Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 8
    Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 7
    Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 6
    Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 5
    Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 4

    No Vocation For Location, Part 7

    | Baltimore, MD, USA | Geography, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    Me: “Thank you for calling [airline]; this is [my name]. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Yeah, I want to book a flight from here to Los Angeles.”

    Me: “Okay, what city are you departing from?”

    Caller: “I want to go to Los Angeles.”

    Me: “From where?”

    Caller: “From here.”

    Me: “What city are you in?”

    Caller: “The same as you.”

    Me: “I’m in Baltimore, Maryland. Is that where you are?”

    Caller: “No. Can’t you tell from my phone number?”

    Me: “We have no way of knowing where you’re calling from. If you tell me what city you’d like to depart from, I can look up the flights for you.”

    Caller: “Well if you don’t know where I am, what good are you?” *click*

    Related:
    No Vocation For Location, Part 6
    No Vocation For Location, Part 5
    No Vocation For Location, Part 4

    Having A Light Bulb Moment, Part 3

    , | Grand Canyon, AZ, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (It’s almost dusk at the gift shop I am running at the southern rim of the Grand Canyon. A tourist couple approaches.)

    Woman: “Where is the best spot to watch the Canyon at night?”

    Me: “Well, anywhere along the walkway is good, but the sun’s going down very soon.”

    Man: “Yes, we want to be here when they turn on the lights.”

    Me: “…lights?”

    Woman: “Yes, so we can see it at night.”

    Me: “Umm, the Canyon is over a mile deep at this point, and the northern rim is over a mile across from here. There aren’t any lights in it for nighttime.”

    Man: “Then how do you see it at night?”

    Me: “…basically it’s the big blackness out there.”

    Related:
    Having A Light Bulb Moment, Part 2
    Having A Light Bulb Moment

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