Category: Geography

You may call them “lost”, but we prefer the name “geographically disadvantaged.”

If I Know Him I’ll Eat My Hat

| CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography

(I vend at local arts and craft shows, selling handmade hats.)

Customer: “These hats are great! Do you know Sandy?”

Me: “Sandy? I don’t think so.”

Customer: “Oh c’mon! Sandy! He makes hats, too! Y’know, in Arizona? He’s famous!”

Me: “Nope. Can’t say I’ve met him.”

Irredeemable Ignorance

| VA, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography

Customer #1: “Where are you from?”

Me: “Chile.”

Customer #1:  “Oh, really? I love your statue!” *spreads his arms cross-like*

Me: *smiling*

Customer #2: “That’s in Rio.”

Customer #1: “Well, close enough.”

Won’t Like The State Of The Pizza

| Greeley, CO, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Geography

(I am a delivery driver on a delivery, and am unable to find the house that I am looking for, so I call the customer for help.)

Customer: “Hello?”

Me: “Hi. This is the delivery driver in charge of delivering your pizza. Unfortunately, I’m a little stuck. I can’t seem to find your house. Could you verify your address for me?”

Customer: “Yeah, no problem! It’s [address].”

Me: “Okay. Well, that’s the same address that I have and I’m pretty sure I’m in the right place but I don’t see that address.”

Customer: “Oh, it’s pretty hard to see my house at night especially because there are no street light near me. I’ll come outside to meet you.”

(I am thoroughly confused by this because it is only six pm and the sun is still up.)

Me: “Excuse me, but it sounded like you said it was dark out so I wasn’t able to see your house?”

Customer: “Yeah. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you or anything.”

Me: “No, no. That’s not the problem. Could you tell me what city your in?”

Customer: “Um… I’m in Boston, Massachusetts. Where the h*** are you?”

Me: “Sir, you called the [Pizza Shop] in Greeley, Colorado.”

Customer: “Oh… I was wondering why the area code wasn’t normal.”

Way South Of Average Intelligence

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Bigotry, Extra Stupid, Geography, Language & Words, Musical Mayhem

(I am a light-skinned South African living in the United States. I occasionally get to perform my own music in a local hip-hop-oriented bar. I try to keep my lyrics clean of profanities, which is unusual for this audience.)

Bar Patron #1: “It’s nice to hear some clean hip-hop here for a change.”

Me: “Thanks. I just don’t see the need for me to swear, since most of my songs are about partying and that sort of light stuff.”

Bar Patron #2: “Usually with the people who perform here, it’s ‘n-word this’, and ‘n-word that’.”

Me: *laughing* “Can you imagine, a white South African using that word a whole bunch of times?”

Bar Patron #2: “I know you could do that if you wanted to, since your country is run by African-Americans and all, but it’s nice that you don’t.”

Me: “… Oh boy.”

Foiled His Plans

| OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Math & Science

Customer: “I need some paint for my trailer.”

Me: “Okay. What material is it made from? I’m assuming metal?”

Customer: “No. It’s aluminum.”

Me: “Aluminum is a kind of metal, sir.”

Customer: “No, it isn’t! Aluminum doesn’t come from underground!”

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