Lost & Confused: This week, we feature five stories of customers who are “geographically disadvantaged!”

1. For The Love Of God, Get GPS:
   An employee serves as a human GPS for one completely lost customer!
2. More Cars Than Common Sense:
   A couple thinks they lost their car, when they’ve really lost their minds.
3. For The Love Of God, Get GPS, Part 2:
   This confused hotel guest puts the “duh” in Cana-duh!
4. At The Corner Of Me & Myself:
   We need more than your living room to locate you, sir.
5. The Great State Of Confusion, Part 4:
   An airline passenger ends up in New Orleans, LA–Los Angeles, that is!

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

(I work in a mall on the Las Vegas Strip, so there’s always a lot of people from other countries in the store.)

Customer: “Excuse me, do you know where [store] is?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I do not know where that store is. However, if you go outside our store, there’s a directory right there.”

Customer: “No! You do not understand. Where is this store?!”

Me: “I can’t go out there with you to look, but I promise if it’s in the mall, it’s on that map.”

Customer: “I already looked at the map! It just gave me a number! What is this number supposed to tell me!?”

Me: “Well, the number corresponds—”

Customer: “I’M FROM THE UK! I DON’T KNOW HOW TO READ YOUR MAPS!”

Me: “I can maybe ask—”

Customer: *storms out of the store in a rage before I can finish*

Another Customer: “I’m from the UK, and I was able to read your map just fine!”

Related:
No Vocation For Location, Part 2
No Vocation For Location

(I was born and raised in Alaska. I’ve been told by a lot of people that I sound very generically American. I’ve been answering questions for this couple for about five minutes.)

Me: “Let me know if there’s anything else I can help you with!”

Male Tourist: “No, we’ll be fine, thanks.”

Me: “Okay. Enjoy your stay!”

Female Tourist: “Thanks, honey. You speak real good English for being an Alaskan!”

(I work in an airline call center where we make reservations and make changes to existing reservations such as seat/meal requests.)

Customer: “I’d like a window seat for my return trip”

Me: “Okay, no problem. Let me check availability for you.”

(I book the seat for her.)

Me: “Okay, I was able to book you in 31K, which is a window seat on your return flight from Frankfurt to Seattle.”

Customer: “What?! I’m on a PLANE? I thought I was taking a bus?!”

Me: “Yes, I assure you it is a plane, as it is difficult to cross the Atlantic on a bus.”

Customer: “Thanks so much. I am so excited about going on a plane!”

Customer: “Could you please tell me where the restrooms are?”

(I point in the direction of the restrooms.)

Me: “Yes, sir, it is right there beside the bakery.”

(The customer points in the opposite direction.)

Customer: “Beside the chocolate store?”

(I point again at the restrooms.)

Me: “No, sir, beside the bakery. Right there.”

(The customer points in the wrong direction again.)

Customer: “Over there?”

Me: “Sir, it is between the food court and the bakery. Right there.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. I got ya.” *walks off in the wrong direction*