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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Category: Geography

    You may call them “lost”, but we prefer the name “geographically disadvantaged.”

    A Large Intelligence Gulf (Of Mexico)

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Bigotry, Geography, Themed Giveaway, Tourists/Travel

    Customer: “So, where are you located?”

    Me: “In Orlando, Florida.”

    Customer: “Ugh! I’m sick of all you foreigners taking jobs from us hard-working Americans!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I am an American citizen. Florida is a state in America. Everyone who works in this call center is American.”

    Customer: “I’m not stupid! I know Florida is in Mexico! I want to talk to an AMERICAN!”

    Loonie Over A Toonie, Part 3

    | Niagara Falls, ON, Canada | Canada, Geography, Money, Themed Giveaway, Tourists/Travel

    (I work at a gift shop in Canada, just beside the US border, so we usually have a lot of American tourists. Our gift shop is one of the only places in the area that lets a customer perform their transactions in US currency.)

    Customer: “Do you take real money?”

    Me: *confused* “What do you mean?”

    Customer: “Real money!”

    (The customer holds up US currency.)

    Me: “Oh, yes we take Canadian or American, and we’ll give you American change back if we have some in the till.”

    Customer: “Good, you people here are weird about your money.”

    Related:
    Loonie Over A Toonie, Part 2
    Loonie Over A Toonie

    Didn’t Rock Her History Lessons

    | Crowsnest Pass, AB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Geography, History, Themed Giveaway, Tourists/Travel

    (I am currently serving a couple. We are the first restaurant that tourists heading west come to after passing through the largest rock slide in Canadian history.)

    Man: “That rock slide thing was incredible. Do you know anything about it?”

    Me: “Actually, yes I know quite a bit. The mountain fell one morning in 1903; 82 million tonnes of rock fell on the sleeping mining town below and killed almost 90 people. The town remains buried. There is an interpretive center where you can learn more if you would like.”

    Woman: “That’s okay dear; I do have one question though.”

    Me: “Sure, if I know the answer I would be happy to tell you something about the area.”

    Woman: “How did they make the rocks jump and miss the highway?”

    Me: “Um… well they didn’t. The slide happened in 1903. They put the highway in after, ma’am.”

    Woman: “Well I don’t understand; how did they do that?”

    (Thankfully at this point, I have to go and deal with some other customers. I can still hear her asking her husband as they leave, to explain it one more time.)

    Doesn’t Bavaria With Distances

    | Berlin, Germany | Geography, Hotels & Lodging, Themed Giveaway, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

    Guest: “Hi. So, I am going to go to see Neuschwanstein the day after tomorrow; I am meeting a friend there.”

    (Neuschwanstein Castle is 700 km, around 435 miles or at least a six-hour drive from Berlin. I assume he wants to leave Berlin and stay somewhere in Bavaria close to the castle.)

    Me: “Great, they tell me it’s well worth the trip.”

    Guest: “That’s what I heard. So, do you reckon I could be back here in time for the pub crawl?”

    Me: “Um… no, I don’t think so, unfortunately. It’s 700 km from here.”

    Guest: “Yeah. That’s only like 100 miles, right? I got a rental car. And you guys have the Autobahn, after all. I reckon it shouldn’t take me more than an hour one way!”

    Has A Vocation For Location

    | Rochester, NY, USA | Geography, Top

    (I work in a very high end grocery store, with many rich customers. I approach a lost-looking customer.)

    Me: “Can I help you find anything today?”

    Customer: “I doubt it; the last time I shopped here no one could help me find a d*** thing!”

    Me: “Sorry about that, sir. I know where everything is, and I’m sure I can help you if you’d like.”

    Customer: *sarcastic* “Oh really, you know where everything is?”

    Me: “Yes, sir.”

    Customer: “Pickles?”

    Me: “Aisle 16B.”

    Customer: “Note cards.”

    Me: “17.”

    Customer: “Anchovies.”

    Me: “16B again.”

    Customer: “Batteries.”

    Me: “Next to register one.”

    (This rapid fire Q&A goes on for five more minutes. I never mess up.)

    Customer: “Alright smart guy, where are the shores of Tripoli?”

    Me: “Libya.”

    Customer: “Wow, I was just trying to throw you off there. How did you know that off the top of your head?”

    Me: “I told you; I know where everything is.”

    Related:
    No Vocation For Location, Part 6
    No Vocation For Location, Part 5
    No Vocation For Location, Part 4


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