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    Category: Geography

    You may call them “lost”, but we prefer the name “geographically disadvantaged.”

    Irredeemable Ignorance

    | VA, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography

    Customer #1: “Where are you from?”

    Me: “Chile.”

    Customer #1:  ”Oh, really? I love your statue!” *spreads his arms cross-like*

    Me: *smiling*

    Customer #2: “That’s in Rio.”

    Customer #1: “Well, close enough.”

    Won’t Like The State Of The Pizza

    | Greeley, CO, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Geography

    (I am a delivery driver on a delivery, and am unable to find the house that I am looking for, so I call the customer for help.)

    Customer: “Hello?”

    Me: “Hi. This is the delivery driver in charge of delivering your pizza. Unfortunately, I’m a little stuck. I can’t seem to find your house. Could you verify your address for me?”

    Customer: “Yeah, no problem! It’s [address].”

    Me: “Okay. Well, that’s the same address that I have and I’m pretty sure I’m in the right place but I don’t see that address.”

    Customer: “Oh, it’s pretty hard to see my house at night especially because there are no street light near me. I’ll come outside to meet you.”

    (I am thoroughly confused by this because it is only six pm and the sun is still up.)

    Me: “Excuse me, but it sounded like you said it was dark out so I wasn’t able to see your house?”

    Customer: “Yeah. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you or anything.”

    Me: “No, no. That’s not the problem. Could you tell me what city your in?”

    Customer: “Um… I’m in Boston, Massachusetts. Where the h*** are you?”

    Me: “Sir, you called the [Pizza Shop] in Greeley, Colorado.”

    Customer: “Oh… I was wondering why the area code wasn’t normal.”

    Way South Of Average Intelligence

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Bigotry, Extra Stupid, Geography, Language & Words, Musical Mayhem

    (I am a light-skinned South African living in the United States. I occasionally get to perform my own music in a local hip-hop-oriented bar. I try to keep my lyrics clean of profanities, which is unusual for this audience.)

    Bar Patron #1: “It’s nice to hear some clean hip-hop here for a change.”

    Me: “Thanks. I just don’t see the need for me to swear, since most of my songs are about partying and that sort of light stuff.”

    Bar Patron #2: “Usually with the people who perform here, it’s ‘n-word this’, and ‘n-word that’.”

    Me: *laughing* “Can you imagine, a white South African using that word a whole bunch of times?”

    Bar Patron #2: “I know you could do that if you wanted to, since your country is run by African-Americans and all, but it’s nice that you don’t.”

    Me: “… Oh boy.”

    Foiled His Plans

    | OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Math & Science

    Customer: “I need some paint for my trailer.”

    Me: “Okay. What material is it made from? I’m assuming metal?”

    Customer: “No. It’s aluminum.”

    Me: “Aluminum is a kind of metal, sir.”

    Customer: “No, it isn’t! Aluminum doesn’t come from underground!”

    Common Knowledge Has Deserted You

    | San Antonio, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, History, Tourists/Travel

    (We get a lot of people from different countries or other states who know nothing about Texas.)

    Tourist: “So is the Alamo like out in the desert or something?”

    Me: “Oh, have ya’ll not been downtown yet? It’s pretty much smack dab in the middle of the city.”

    Tourist: “What do you mean?”

    Me: “It’s not like in the movie. The city has grown around it,. It’s actually one of the more boring missions that’s pretty much completely covered by urban sprawl. I you want to see more traditional missions you should try San Jose or the other ones in the National Park areas.”

    (They’re silent for awhile while I guess they’re having trouble with the term ‘missions.’)

    Tourist: “Where’s your desert, anyway?”

    Me: “Um… Like, 400 miles west of here?”

    Tourist: “So, we’re not in Texas yet?”

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