November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Geography

You may call them “lost”, but we prefer the name “geographically disadvantaged.”

Parked Her American Dream

| Baltimore, MD, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography

(I work at a large department store that gets quite busy in the afternoon, and parking can be competitive. A woman is angry that another customer beat her to the spot she wanted, and becomes so upset that security goes out to see what is the matter.)

Customer: “This is horrible! I would expect this to happen in some uncivilized country, like Mexico, or Florida, but not here in AMERICA!”

A Cab Will Just Go And Go And Chicago

| Dallas, TX, USA | Geography, Hotels & Lodging, Transportation

Guest: “Can you call me a cab to take me to O’Hare?”

Front Desk: “Sure, but you might want to consider flying there since you’re in Dallas.”

Guest: “Oh, yeah. I forgot.”

Utah Got The Wrong Place

| Canada | Bizarre, Geography, Musical Mayhem

(I am working at the box office when the phone rings.)

Me: “Hello, thank you for calling [Business]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “I’m looking for the Utah Symphony.”

Me: “Sorry?”

Caller: “The Utah Symphony.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I think you have the wrong number. I’m in Canada.”

Caller: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes, I’m sure I’m in Canada.”

Caller: “Is this [Address] in [City], Utah?”

Me: “No, ma’am, I’m on [Street] in [City], Canada.”

Caller: “But where can I find the Utah Symphony?”

Me: “…try Utah?”

Say Sayonara To Intelligence

| Miami, FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Geography, Language & Words

(I work at a Japanese restaurant and yes, I am Asian. There is a family of four sitting at a table.)

Me: “Good evening, everyone. Can I start you guys off with anything?”

Customer: “Where are you from?”

Me: “I am from Taiwan.”

Customer: “Oh, wow! My son is taking Japanese in school. Do you speak Japanese?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry.”

Customer: “That’s a shame. Can I have a California Roll?”

Suffering From A Vowel Movement

| MN, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Language & Words

(The grocery store I work in has a week every summer in which we put Hawaiian-esque foods on sale, such as tuna, pineapples, spam, pork, coconuts, etc. Neighborhood luaus are very popular in our area during the summer. We have signs proclaiming this all over the store.)

Customer: “I need to speak to your manager right away!”

Me: “I’m the manager. What can I help you with, ma’am?”

Customer: “I’m an English teacher, and I’m appalled by your signs!”

Me: “What’s wrong with them?”

Customer: “Whoever made then doesn’t know how to spell! Don’t you people know that you can’t put four consonants in a row?”

Me: “You mean vowels? And that is how you spell ‘Hawaiian,’ ma’am.”

Customer: *exasperated* “God, all of you are such f****** idiots! I’m looking it up on my phone right now!”

(She did just that, and my coworkers and I watched as she suddenly paled, ditched her cart, and left the store. We haven’t seen her back since, even though she was a regular.)