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    Category: Geography

    You may call them “lost”, but we prefer the name “geographically disadvantaged.”

    Being Careful With Words Is Now A Mute Point

    , | Tarpon Springs, FL, USA | Geography, Technology

    (I front the calls for an insurance call center. I’m on the phone with a customer, chit-chatting a little about the weather difference, since he is from California. I put my mic on mute while I try to see which agents are free to transfer the call to. In the meantime, I hear the customer talking to his friend in the background.)

    Friend: “What’s that about?”

    Customer: “Something about life insurance. But you should hear her. She sounds hot! I wish I had it on speaker. She sounded really hot! Like seriously, you should hear her! Too bad we’re on opposite ends of the country. She’s in Florida. I guess she just moved from Minnesota.”

    (The entire time I can feel myself turning red, and debate on letting him know I can hear him, but I decide it’s time.)

    Me: “Actually, from Michigan! But close!”

    Customer: “Oh, from Michigan!”

    (At this point you can hear the realization in his voice.)

    Customer: “Oh, crap! You can hear everything? Oh, jeez! You should warn people! Like ‘I’m going to put you on hold but I can still hear you’!”

    Me: “Yeah, but that would take out all the fun!”

    Customer: “Oh man, this is so embarrassing! Well, at least you know somebody thinks you sound hot!”

    (I could hear both him and his friend crack up. It made my day!)

    Turning Right Is Apparently Wrong

    | Calgary, AB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Geography, Technology

    (I work in a campground that is just outside of the city limits. We are off a highway that has the ‘Welcome to our city’ sign on it, and which is the only way in or out of the city for miles. A customer comes in with a GPS.)

    Customer: “I’d like to get into the city. What should I program into the GPS?”

    Me: “Oh, it’s quite simple, just exit the campground and turn right. The highway leads into the city.”

    Customer: “But what should I program into the GPS?”

    Me: “Are you looking for a particular location?”

    Customer: “No, I just want to get into the city itself. Can you tell my GPS what directions it should give me?”

    Me: “All you have to do is turn right and follow the highway. You won’t need your GPS. Once you pass the ‘Welcome’ sign you should begin to see buildings.”

    Customer: “But how do I get into the city? I need my GPS to tell me what to do!”

    (I give up, and program the GPS with the coordinates of a gas station just past the ‘Welcome’ sign.)

    GPS: “Turn right. In five kilometers, you will reach your destination.”

    Customer: “Hey, the city is just down the road! You could have just told me to turn right!”

    A Whole New State Of Understanding

    | PA, USA | Family & Kids, Geography

    (I’m currently having a conversation with a little girl, about kindergarten age, while I do her nails.)

    Little Girl: “You know, I’ve never been to the United States of America.”

    Me: “Wait, what?”

    Little Girl: “I’ve never been to the States. I wonder what it’s like there?”

    Me: “You live in the United States, hun.”

    Little Girl: “I do?”

    Me: “Yes! You sure do!”

    Little Girl: “Wow, I thought I lived in the city!”

    Dislocated Their Brain

    | ON, Canada | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Geography

    (I’m the dumb customer in this one. My family and I are at a hardware store, and have discovered that they don’t have any more of the item we want. The salesperson is looking up if any other stores in the area have it.)

    Salesperson: “So [Location #1] has two, [Location #2] has six, and [Location #3] has sixteen.”

    Me: “What about [Location #4]?”

    Salesperson: “Um… that’s the location you’re in right now.”

    Mom: *to me* “Long day, honey?”

    Not Central To Their Understanding

    | CO, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Geography

    (I am from Central America but have lived in Colorado all my life. People usually ask what part of Mexico I’m from and I just have to give them a smile and let them know I am in fact not from Mexico but a small Central American country. I am helping a customer check out.)

    Customer: “Wow you have no accent even though you’re Mexican!”

    Me: “I’ve lived in Colorado all my life but I’m actually from a small Central American country.”

    Customer: “Oh! Maria, my maid, is from Central America. Do you know Maria!?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, there are many Maria’s from Central America. Where is she from?”

    Customer: “Maria! You must know Maria!! My maid! MARIA!”

    Me: “Well, I’m from…”

    Customer: “Nooo. Maria! Maria. Maria! From Central America! You KNOW her! Mmaarriiiaa!”

    (This went on for a few minutes. Obviously we never figured out who she was talking about even though she kept saying the name Maria longer and louder.)

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