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    Category: Geography

    You may call them “lost”, but we prefer the name “geographically disadvantaged.”

    Been In The Mountains This Whole Time

    | Windsor, CO, USA | Geography

    (I’m working the overnight shift and a man calls from Oklahoma to order some uniform shirts.)

    Me: “It will just take a few minutes for the computer to process your order. It doesn’t always go through, so I would appreciate you staying on the line until I get confirmation.”

    Customer: “I’m really glad you’re there to put this order in for me. I need those shirts as soon as possible, but I was worried it would be going to a machine by 10 PM.”

    Me: “Yes, there’s always someone in the office. It’s actually 11 PM here.”

    Customer: “Oh, so y’all are on the west coast?”

    Me: “No, we’re located in Colorado. I think it’s 10 PM on the west coast.”

    Customer: “What are you talking about? Colorado has the same time as we do here!”

    Me: “I believe that Oklahoma is in the Central time zone, sir. Colorado is on Mountain time, which is an hour behind Central.”

    Customer: “There’s no such thing as Mountain time!”

    Me: “Sir, having lived here all my life, I can assure you that there is. The Mountain time zone covers several states in the U.S.”

    Customer: “No! There’s Eastern time, Central time, and Pacific time!”

    Me: “Yes, there are all of those, but there’s also Mountain time. The United States covers four time zones. Between your state and Nevada is the Mountain time zone.”

    Customer: “You’re not fooling?

    Me: “Not fooling. There is definitely a Mountain time zone, and I live in it.”

    Customer: “Well, I never heard of Mountain time!”

    Me: “Right. Well, all I can tell you is that it’s been that way as long as I can remember, but I’m only 22. Your order is complete, sir. Have a nice night.”

    Local And Lost

    | Corpus Christi, TX, USA | Geography

    (A customer has just moved from Hawaii to Oregon not too long ago, and needs a number to a different department who had different business hours.)

    Me: “They are open 7 AM to 10 PM, your local time.”

    Customer: “Okay.” *pause* “Does that mean my local time in Hawaii or my local time in Oregon?”

    Me: “What state are you in?”

    Customer: “Oregon.”

    Me: “Okay, then that means your local time is Oregon time.”

    Customer: *pause* “But I used to live in Hawaii. Shouldn’t that be my local time?”

    Me: “Um, but you live in Oregon now, which makes that your local time. You’re not in Hawaii anymore.”

    Customer: *unconvinced* “Okay, bye.”

    Make Benefit Glorious Sunshinestan

    | Maine, USA | Geography

    (I work for a popular cell phone company in general care. I am answering questions about a woman’s international charges.)

    Customer: “I don’t get why you are billing me for international!”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, since you do not have an international plan, you get charged per minute for calls internationally.”

    Customer: “That doesn’t make sense! Why don’t you charge me for calls to Florida?”

    Me: “Florida isn’t international, ma’am. That’s a part of the United States.”

    Related:
    Make Benefit Glorious Guestlogisticstan
    The Great State Of Confusion, Part 2
    The Great State Of Confusion
    The Great State Of Ignorance

    Make Benefit Glorious Guestlogisticstan

    | Florida, USA | Geography, Tourists/Travel

    (I work for a very well known cruise line in Florida. More likely than not, the crew members are not from the US. The people in the terminal on the other hand, are usually locals.)

    Me: “Welcome to [cruise line], how are you today?”

    Customer: *turning to wife* “Honey, she’s foreign.”

    (He then turns back to me, flashes a huge smile, and starts speaking in incredibly slow English)

    Customer: “Hello!” *glances at my name tag* “My! I’ve never heard of a country called ‘Guestlogistics’! Where is that?”

    Me: “Sir, that’s my position here at the terminal. I’m actually from around here.”

    Customer: “Is that in Europe?”

    Me: “No, I’m from [next town over].”

    Customer: *blank stare* “Okay…anyway, we’re all here to check in.”

    Giving The French Stick

    | AK, USA | Geography, Language & Words, Top, Tourists/Travel

    Customer: *with a strong French accent* “I would like a ticket to Paris, USA.”

    (His friends are snickering.)

    Me: “The one in Illinois or in Tennessee?”

    Customer: *pauses* “What?”

    Me: “Do you want Paris IL, or Paris TN?”

    Customer: “How about Marseilles?”

    Me: “Okay, Marseilles in Illinois or Ohio?”

    Customer: “Berlin?”

    Me: “So, Connecticut?”

    Customer: “Moscow?”

    Me: “Idaho?”

    Customer: “You’re making that up.”

    (I show him the screen for Moscow, Idaho.)

    Customer: “Look, I was only pointing out that American movies always list the city and country for a location because you’re too d*** stupid to know that Paris is in France!”

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