Category: Geography

You may call them “lost”, but we prefer the name “geographically disadvantaged.”

Great State Of Confusion, Part 5

| Missouri, USA | Geography

Customer: “I need to know where you’re located. We want to visit the one in Quebec.”

Me: “Okay, we actually don’t have any locations in Quebec. We do have Toronto which is in Ontario, and we have Calgary which is in Alberta.”

Customer: “Um, I think it’s Tor—…no. I think it’s Calgary. That’s right.” *talks to someone in the background* “Wait, I guess it’s the one here in Denver!”

Related:
The Great State Of Confusion, Part 4
The Great State Of Confusion, Part 3
Make Benefit Glorious Guestlogisticstan
The Great State Of Confusion, Part 2
The Great State Of Confusion
The Great State Of Ignorance

The Customer Is Always Right, Even When It’s Left

| Melbourne, Australia | Geography

(I am an usher ripping tickets at the podium and directing customers to their cinema.)

Me: “You’re in cinema number four. It’s up the stairs to your left.”

Patron: “Which way?”

Me: “Left, and then go up the stairs.”

Patron: “Which way’s left?”

Me: “That way.” *points*

Patron: “Great, thanks!”

The Great State Of Confusion, Part 4

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Geography, Top, Tourists/Travel

(Note: my job at the airport is to give information to tourists as a courtesy.)

Me: “Hi, how may I help you?”

Customer: “How do I get to New Orleans from here?”

Me: “You’ll need to take a flight. It’s on the other side of the country.”

Customer: “No, it’s not.”

Me: “Yes, it’s in Louisiana.”

Customer: *getting mad* “Well, I’m from Houston and I’d be pretty pissed off if I went all this way for nothing!”

Me: “Wait…if you wanted to go to New Orleans, why did you take a plane to Los Angeles?”

Customer: “Because I’ve been wanting to visit my old pen pal for awhile to surprise him. Every time I send him a letter, I write ‘New Orleans, LA’ on the envelope. That’s L.A.! That’s where I am, and I know you’re lying!”

Related:
The Great State Of Confusion, Part 3
Make Benefit Glorious Guestlogisticstan
The Great State Of Confusion, Part 2
The Great State Of Confusion
The Great State Of Ignorance

All Roads Lead To Wrong

| Worcester, MA, USA | Geography

Customer: “How long until we get to Virginia?”

Me: “You’re headed north to Boston, ma’am. Virginia is in the opposite direction.”

Customer: “What?!”

Me: “You’re headed to Boston, ma’am. You need to turn around.”

Customer: “I knew we got on the wrong way back in New York!”

From Sea To Shining Sea

| Seattle, WA, USA | Geography

(I’m in the middle of sharing interesting facts about Seattle to a group of 20. Unfortunately, one tourist has been talking on the phone the entire time, making it hard for others to hear me.)

Me: “Now, back when the Space Needle was built, it was the tallest building west of the Mississippi River and it—”

Tourist: “Wait, which of these rivers is the Mississippi?”

Me: “Well, that’s the Puget sound to your right. The two other large bodies of water you can see are Lake Union and Lake Washington—”

Tourist: “So, where’s the river?”

Me: “You mean the Mississippi River?”

Customer: “Well, duh.”

Me: “I guess about 1600 miles east of here.”

Customer: “So, you can’t see it, then?”

Me: “Not from here, no.”

Customer: “Oh.”

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