You may call them “lost”, but we prefer the name “geographically disadvantaged.”
Me: “Thank you for choosing [name of hotel]. How can I help you?”
Caller: “Hi, this is going to be my first trip to Texas and I need to know a few things.”
Me: “Of course, ma’am. How can I help you?”
Caller: “Okay, you all have beds, right? Or do we sleep in hay?”
Me: “Um, we have both full size and queen beds in our rooms.”
Caller: “Okay, good! Now, what about air condition? I hear it’s hot in Texas.”
Me: “All our rooms have air conditioners along with fans.”
Caller: “Okay, good. Now what about ice? You do have ice in Texas, right?”
Me: “Yes, ma’am, we do have ice.”
Caller: “Great! You guys have finally caught up with the times. Thank you!” *hangs up*
Customer: “I’ve never taken a cruise before, but I really want to try one.”
Me: “I’d be happy to help you plan your first cruise. Where would you like to visit?”
Customer: “I’m thinking a short, roundtrip, tropical cruise, to either the Bahamas or the Caribbean.”
Me: “Sounds great! We offer a wide variety of roundtrip Bahamas and Caribbean cruises. Which departure port do you have in mind?”
Lost & Confused: This week, we feature five stories of customers who are “geographically disadvantaged!”
- For The Love Of God, Get GPS:
An employee serves as a human GPS for one completely lost customer!
- More Cars Than Common Sense:
A couple thinks they lost their car, when they’ve really lost their minds.
- For The Love Of God, Get GPS, Part 2:
This confused hotel guest puts the “duh” in Cana-duh!
- At The Corner Of Me & Myself:
We need more than your living room to locate you, sir.
- The Great State Of Confusion, Part 4:
An airline passenger ends up in New Orleans, LA–Los Angeles, that is!
PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!
PS #2: Read more roundups here!
(I work in a mall on the Las Vegas Strip, so there’s always a lot of people from other countries in the store.)
Customer: “Excuse me, do you know where [store] is?”
Me: “I’m sorry, I do not know where that store is. However, if you go outside our store, there’s a directory right there.”
Customer: “No! You do not understand. Where is this store?!”
Me: “I can’t go out there with you to look, but I promise if it’s in the mall, it’s on that map.”
Customer: “I already looked at the map! It just gave me a number! What is this number supposed to tell me!?”
Me: “Well, the number corresponds—”
Customer: “I’M FROM THE UK! I DON’T KNOW HOW TO READ YOUR MAPS!”
Me: “I can maybe ask—”
Customer: *storms out of the store in a rage before I can finish*
Another Customer: “I’m from the UK, and I was able to read your map just fine!”
No Vocation For Location, Part 2
No Vocation For Location
(I was born and raised in Alaska. I’ve been told by a lot of people that I sound very generically American. I’ve been answering questions for this couple for about five minutes.)
Me: “Let me know if there’s anything else I can help you with!”
Male Tourist: “No, we’ll be fine, thanks.”
Me: “Okay. Enjoy your stay!”
Female Tourist: “Thanks, honey. You speak real good English for being an Alaskan!”