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    Category: Geography

    You may call them “lost”, but we prefer the name “geographically disadvantaged.”

    The Customer Is Always Right, Even When It’s Left

    | Melbourne, Australia | Geography

    (I am an usher ripping tickets at the podium and directing customers to their cinema.)

    Me: “You’re in cinema number four. It’s up the stairs to your left.”

    Patron: “Which way?”

    Me: “Left, and then go up the stairs.”

    Patron: “Which way’s left?”

    Me: “That way.” *points*

    Patron: “Great, thanks!”

    The Great State Of Confusion, Part 4

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Geography, Top, Tourists/Travel

    (Note: my job at the airport is to give information to tourists as a courtesy.)

    Me: “Hi, how may I help you?”

    Customer: “How do I get to New Orleans from here?”

    Me: “You’ll need to take a flight. It’s on the other side of the country.”

    Customer: “No, it’s not.”

    Me: “Yes, it’s in Louisiana.”

    Customer: *getting mad* “Well, I’m from Houston and I’d be pretty pissed off if I went all this way for nothing!”

    Me: “Wait…if you wanted to go to New Orleans, why did you take a plane to Los Angeles?”

    Customer: “Because I’ve been wanting to visit my old pen pal for awhile to surprise him. Every time I send him a letter, I write ‘New Orleans, LA’ on the envelope. That’s L.A.! That’s where I am, and I know you’re lying!”

    Related:
    The Great State Of Confusion, Part 3
    Make Benefit Glorious Guestlogisticstan
    The Great State Of Confusion, Part 2
    The Great State Of Confusion
    The Great State Of Ignorance

    All Roads Lead To Wrong

    | Worcester, MA, USA | Geography

    Customer: “How long until we get to Virginia?”

    Me: “You’re headed north to Boston, ma’am. Virginia is in the opposite direction.”

    Customer: “What?!”

    Me: “You’re headed to Boston, ma’am. You need to turn around.”

    Customer: “I knew we got on the wrong way back in New York!”

    From Sea To Shining Sea

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Geography

    (I’m in the middle of sharing interesting facts about Seattle to a group of 20. Unfortunately, one tourist has been talking on the phone the entire time, making it hard for others to hear me.)

    Me: “Now, back when the Space Needle was built, it was the tallest building west of the Mississippi River and it—”

    Tourist: “Wait, which of these rivers is the Mississippi?”

    Me: “Well, that’s the Puget sound to your right. The two other large bodies of water you can see are Lake Union and Lake Washington—”

    Tourist: “So, where’s the river?”

    Me: “You mean the Mississippi River?”

    Customer: “Well, duh.”

    Me: “I guess about 1600 miles east of here.”

    Customer: “So, you can’t see it, then?”

    Me: “Not from here, no.”

    Customer: “Oh.”

    The Ire Of The Irish

    | Maryland, USA | Food & Drink, Geography

    (I’m Irish and am working in the States one summer, waiting tables at an Irish pub/restaurant. I’m serving a couple in their 30s.)

    Customer: “Where are you from?”

    Me: “I’m from Ireland.”

    Customer: “Where’s that?”

    Me: “It’s in Europe.”

    Customer: “Oh, you’re from another country! Your English is really good!”

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