July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

Category: Geography

You may call them “lost”, but we prefer the name “geographically disadvantaged.”

Parlez-vous Down Under

| California, USA | Geography, Language & Words

(I’ve just finished ringing up a customer. Note that I have a very noticeable Australian accent, as I am from Australia.)

Me: “Have a nice day!”

Customer: “You too! By the way, I’m surprised, your English is really good!”

Me: “Er… thanks?”

Customer: “No, really! I mean it! If it weren’t for your accent, I’d have no idea you were French!”

Me: “Um… actually, I’m from Australia.”

Customer: “Oh, nonsense! I know a French accent when I hear one! Come on, say something in French!”

(To humor her, I make up some random sounds that vaguely sound like French, as I do not actually speak French.)

Customer: “See! I knew you were French! So what does that mean?”

Me: “It means, ‘I don’t speak any French because I’m not from France.'”

Customer: “Oh, you! You French have such great senses of humor!”

Asia: It’ll Amaze Ya, Part 2

| Stockport, UK | Geography

Customer: “Excuse me, do you have any books on Asia?”

Me: “Are you looking for history of Asia, or travel?”

Customer: “Just books on Asia.”

Me: “Well, we have a few travel books on India, China—”

Customer: “No, I just want a book about Asia. I’m going to Asia.”

Me: “I don’t think we have any travel books on the entirety of Asia. Where are you going specifically?”

Customer: *annoyed* “Asia!”

Me: “Okay, yes, but where in Asia? Turkey? Pakistan? North? South?”

Customer: “Oh, is Turkey near Asia?”

Me: “Um… it’s in Asia. Asia is a continent. It has lots of countries in it. It’s not a country itself.”

Customer: “Wait, you think Asia’s not a country? Asians have got to come from somewhere!”

Me: *gives up* “Ah. Well our travel section is just over here. Give me a shout if there’s anything you need…”

Related:
Asia: It’ll Amaze Ya

The Comradewealth Of Moscowchusetts

| Rockport, MA, USA | Geography, Language & Words

Customer: *in a Southern drawl* “Do you speak English?”

Me: “Sir?”

Customer: “I said, DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?!”

Me: “Sir, I can assure you that I speak English. Why would you ask?”

Customer: “Hey, look, I ain’t never been to Massachusetts. I thought all y’all spoke Russian or some s***!”

Wherever You Go, There US Are

| Ireland | Geography, Tourists/Travel

(I am a tour guide at a 15th century Irish castle. I am covering the desk when two tourists come through to exit.)

Me: “Thank you for visiting. Did you enjoy your tour?”

Tourist #1: “NO!”

Me: “I’m sorry. May I ask why?”

Tourist #1: “That tour guide talked funny.”

Tourist #2: “Yeah, she had a funny accent.”

Me: “You mean Irish?”

Tourist #1: “Yeah, we didn’t understand a word she said.”

Tourist #2: You shouldn’t have guides we can’t understand!”

Me: “I’m sorry but this is Ireland.”

Tourist #1:You don’t have an Irish accent!”

Me: “I’m not from here, though.”

(At this point, another tourist who has been waiting to be served speaks up.)

Another Tourist: “Sorry, ladies, but you’re in Ireland in an Irish castle. What were you expecting?”

Tourists #1 and #2: “Americans!”

Loonies Can You Drive Looney

| Niagara Falls, ON, Canada | Geography, Money

(I’m working at a ticket counter in Niagara Falls, Ontario.)

Customer: “Are these prices printed in dollars?”

Me: “Yes, they are.”

Customer: “Why is everything in dollars?! I’m from the United States, and I take offense to you people posting everything in dollars and asking me to use your f***ing Monopoly money! You should be ashamed of yourself! WHY IS EVERYTHING IN DOLLARS?!”

Me: “Canadian currency is also called the ‘dollar’…”

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