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    Category: Geography

    You may call them “lost”, but we prefer the name “geographically disadvantaged.”

    French Disconnection, Part 2

    | Edinburgh Scotland, UK | Funny Names, Geography

    (I’m French but have been working in Scotland for a few years. My accent is not as strong as the typical French one, but most people can guess where I’m from, especially Brits. Sometimes customers think I’m German. A rather drunk customer comes in.)

    Customer: *reading my name tag* “How do you say your name?”

    Me: *says my not very usual but definitely French name*

    Customer: “So,where are you from?”

    Me: “Try to guess!”

    Customer: “Poland?”

    Me: “No.”

    Customer: “Estonia?”

    Me: “No.”

    Customer: “Lithuania?”

    Me: “No.”

    Customer: “Latvia?”

    Me: “No.”

    Customer: Russia?

    Me: No

    Customer: Republic Czech?

    Me: No

    Customer: “Poland?”

    Me: “No, you already asked.”

    Customer: “Oh right! Germany?”

    Me: “No.”

    Customer: “Dutch?”

    Me: “No.”

    Customer: “Romanian?”

    Me: “No.”

    Customer: “You are from Eastern Europe right?”

    Me: “Nope.”

    Customer: “Well, you look like it!”

    (He keeps going and names almost every country in Europe, some twice, but none where people actually speaks French. The evening is slow so I don’t mind and it’s actually quite fun. Finally:)

    Customer: “So where are you from then?”

    Me: “France.”

    Customer: “I knew it!”

    Related:
    French Disconnection

    The Oregon Fail, Part 2

    | Spokane, WA, USA | At The Checkout, Canada, Geography

    (I’m working at a national retail electronics store. We’re required to attempt to collect demographic data in the form of a ZIP code, unless the customer is from another country.)

    Me: “That will be [total]. May I have your ZIP code?”

    Customer: “I’m from Ontario. ”

    Me: “Ontario….?”

    Customer: “Oh, my god! You Americans are so ignorant about any other country! You should know it’s in Canada! Honestly!”

    Me: “Ma’am, there is an Ontario, Oregon and an Ontario, California in the US that I know of. Since you’re from Canada, I don’t need your information. Have a nice day.”

    (The customer’s face turned red, and they left immediately.)

    Related:
    From NotAlwaysRelated:
    The Oregon Fail

    Being Careful With Words Is Now A Mute Point

    , | Tarpon Springs, FL, USA | Geography, Technology

    (I front the calls for an insurance call center. I’m on the phone with a customer, chit-chatting a little about the weather difference, since he is from California. I put my mic on mute while I try to see which agents are free to transfer the call to. In the meantime, I hear the customer talking to his friend in the background.)

    Friend: “What’s that about?”

    Customer: “Something about life insurance. But you should hear her. She sounds hot! I wish I had it on speaker. She sounded really hot! Like seriously, you should hear her! Too bad we’re on opposite ends of the country. She’s in Florida. I guess she just moved from Minnesota.”

    (The entire time I can feel myself turning red, and debate on letting him know I can hear him, but I decide it’s time.)

    Me: “Actually, from Michigan! But close!”

    Customer: “Oh, from Michigan!”

    (At this point you can hear the realization in his voice.)

    Customer: “Oh, crap! You can hear everything? Oh, jeez! You should warn people! Like ‘I’m going to put you on hold but I can still hear you’!”

    Me: “Yeah, but that would take out all the fun!”

    Customer: “Oh man, this is so embarrassing! Well, at least you know somebody thinks you sound hot!”

    (I could hear both him and his friend crack up. It made my day!)

    Turning Right Is Apparently Wrong

    | Calgary, AB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Geography, Technology

    (I work in a campground that is just outside of the city limits. We are off a highway that has the ‘Welcome to our city’ sign on it, and which is the only way in or out of the city for miles. A customer comes in with a GPS.)

    Customer: “I’d like to get into the city. What should I program into the GPS?”

    Me: “Oh, it’s quite simple, just exit the campground and turn right. The highway leads into the city.”

    Customer: “But what should I program into the GPS?”

    Me: “Are you looking for a particular location?”

    Customer: “No, I just want to get into the city itself. Can you tell my GPS what directions it should give me?”

    Me: “All you have to do is turn right and follow the highway. You won’t need your GPS. Once you pass the ‘Welcome’ sign you should begin to see buildings.”

    Customer: “But how do I get into the city? I need my GPS to tell me what to do!”

    (I give up, and program the GPS with the coordinates of a gas station just past the ‘Welcome’ sign.)

    GPS: “Turn right. In five kilometers, you will reach your destination.”

    Customer: “Hey, the city is just down the road! You could have just told me to turn right!”

    A Whole New State Of Understanding

    | PA, USA | Family & Kids, Geography

    (I’m currently having a conversation with a little girl, about kindergarten age, while I do her nails.)

    Little Girl: “You know, I’ve never been to the United States of America.”

    Me: “Wait, what?”

    Little Girl: “I’ve never been to the States. I wonder what it’s like there?”

    Me: “You live in the United States, hun.”

    Little Girl: “I do?”

    Me: “Yes! You sure do!”

    Little Girl: “Wow, I thought I lived in the city!”

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