Featured Story:
  • Always Time For A Rhyme
    (2,179 thumbs up)
  • Category: Geography

    You may call them “lost”, but we prefer the name “geographically disadvantaged.”

    He’s Not All Aboard

    | Tel Aviv, Israel | Extra Stupid, Geography, Top

    Customer: “Hello, I’m calling to make sure that my flight back to Israel departs as scheduled, and that my request for a kosher meal has been approved.”

    Me: “Sir, your ticket has already expired. Your flight was on May 15th.”

    Customer: “What?!? That’s not possible! I am absolutely sure that my flight is on May 29th!”

    Me: “Sir, have you perhaps changed your ticket’s return date?”

    Customer: “No way! I would remember that! I’m not senile. My flight is on May 29th and I did not change my ticket!”

    Me: “The computer says your flight was on May 15th. Could you look at the printout of your ticket and tell me what date appears there?”

    Customer: “Oh, my God…”

    Me: “Sir?”

    Customer: “I forgot! I completely forgot! I am calling you from Netanya! I already am back in Israel!”

    Putting The Dire Into Directions

    | Berlin, Germany | Geography

    (My department store doesn’t sell all the ranges of clothes that the chain produces. However, there is another store just 200 meters to the left that I always tell people to go to when they are looking for an item we don’t have.)

    Customer: “Do you have these shoes in [size]?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t have any in stock, but if you can’t find your size here you could try the other store, which is two hundred meters to the left.”

    Customer: “So, I go out and then to the right?”

    Me: “No, the store is just to the left.”

    Customer: “How far is it?”

    Me: “As I said, just two hundred meters from here.”

    Customer: “How am I supposed to know? I’m from [another big city nearby].”

    Me: “Yeah, but two hundred meters is the same distance in that place as it is here.”

    Customer: *sighing* “This city is just too big for me!”

    Lone Star State, One Country State Of Mind

    | OH, USA | Geography

    (The caller is already upset when she calls in. I am trying to obtain her information to set up service. I ask her for her phone number and she rattles off 7 digits.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I need your area code as well.”

    Customer: “I’m in Austin, Texas! What do you think it is?”

    Me: “Well, because of multiple cellphone companies with their own area codes, I don’t automatically know your area code. I’ll need you to provide it.”

    Customer: “Where are you?”

    Me: “I’m in Ohio.”

    Customer: *becomes hysterical* “Oh my God! Oh my God! We need jobs here and they keep outsourcing and sending all of our jobs overseas!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I promise you, Ohio is a state.”

    Customer: “No, it isn’t! It’s not in Austin!”

    No Vocation For Location, Part 4

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Geography, Hotels & Lodging, Tourists/Travel

    (A nice German family is checking into the hotel around 10:30 at night.)

    Father: “We have to be up early tomorrow. We’re driving to Disneyland tomorrow.”

    Me: “Wow, that’s a heck of a drive. When do you think you’ll get there?”

    Father: “I don’t know. I was hoping mid-afternoon.”

    Me: “I think you might want to check your directions. California is 2,000 miles away.”

    Father: “But it’s just the other side of the country.”

    Me: “The US is a big country, sir.”

    Related:
    No Vocation For Location, Part 3
    No Vocation For Location, Part 2
    No Vocation For Location

    Have Ambiguity, Will Travel

    | Fort Collins, CO, USA | Crazy Requests, Geography

    Customer: “I need some maps.”

    Me: “Maps of what?”

    Customer: “Places.”

    Me: “What kind of places?”

    Customer: “Other places!”

    Page 17/26First...1516171819...Last