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    Category: Geography

    You may call them “lost”, but we prefer the name “geographically disadvantaged.”

    Asia: It’ll Amaze Ya, Part 2

    | Stockport, UK | Geography

    Customer: “Excuse me, do you have any books on Asia?”

    Me: “Are you looking for history of Asia, or travel?”

    Customer: “Just books on Asia.”

    Me: “Well, we have a few travel books on India, China—”

    Customer: “No, I just want a book about Asia. I’m going to Asia.”

    Me: “I don’t think we have any travel books on the entirety of Asia. Where are you going specifically?”

    Customer: *annoyed* “Asia!”

    Me: “Okay, yes, but where in Asia? Turkey? Pakistan? North? South?”

    Customer: “Oh, is Turkey near Asia?”

    Me: “Um… it’s in Asia. Asia is a continent. It has lots of countries in it. It’s not a country itself.”

    Customer: “Wait, you think Asia’s not a country? Asians have got to come from somewhere!”

    Me: *gives up* “Ah. Well our travel section is just over here. Give me a shout if there’s anything you need…”

    Related:
    Asia: It’ll Amaze Ya

    The Comradewealth Of Moscowchusetts

    | Rockport, MA, USA | Geography, Language & Words

    Customer: *in a Southern drawl* “Do you speak English?”

    Me: “Sir?”

    Customer: “I said, DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?!”

    Me: “Sir, I can assure you that I speak English. Why would you ask?”

    Customer: “Hey, look, I ain’t never been to Massachusetts. I thought all y’all spoke Russian or some s***!”

    Wherever You Go, There US Are

    | Ireland | Geography, Tourists/Travel

    (I am a tour guide at a 15th century Irish castle. I am covering the desk when two tourists come through to exit.)

    Me: “Thank you for visiting. Did you enjoy your tour?”

    Tourist #1: “NO!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. May I ask why?”

    Tourist #1: “That tour guide talked funny.”

    Tourist #2: “Yeah, she had a funny accent.”

    Me: “You mean Irish?”

    Tourist #1: “Yeah, we didn’t understand a word she said.”

    Tourist #2: You shouldn’t have guides we can’t understand!”

    Me: “I’m sorry but this is Ireland.”

    Tourist #1:You don’t have an Irish accent!”

    Me: “I’m not from here, though.”

    (At this point, another tourist who has been waiting to be served speaks up.)

    Another Tourist: “Sorry, ladies, but you’re in Ireland in an Irish castle. What were you expecting?”

    Tourists #1 and #2: “Americans!”

    Loonies Can You Drive Looney

    | Niagara Falls, ON, Canada | Geography, Money

    (I’m working at a ticket counter in Niagara Falls, Ontario.)

    Customer: “Are these prices printed in dollars?”

    Me: “Yes, they are.”

    Customer: “Why is everything in dollars?! I’m from the United States, and I take offense to you people posting everything in dollars and asking me to use your f***ing Monopoly money! You should be ashamed of yourself! WHY IS EVERYTHING IN DOLLARS?!”

    Me: “Canadian currency is also called the ‘dollar’…”

    Inde-fence-ible Behavior

    | New Hampshire, USA | Bigotry, Geography, Top

    (I am a customer at an outlet shoe store in the White Mountains region of New Hampshire. We often get French Canadians who come to New Hampshire for vacations and buy things here to avoid the high taxes they pay in Canada. Most of them speak perfectly fine English but some of them, particularly some of the older people can have some trouble. I speak French fluently, so I’m helping an elderly couple who is having trouble translating the sales signs.)

    Me: *in French* “It says that if you buy one pair of shoes, you get the second pair half off.”

    Elderly Customer: *in French* “Thank you. My English in not good, and some things just don’t translate well—”

    Other Customer: “Don’t do that!”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Other Customer: “Don’t pander to them! If they want to live in this country, they should learn to speak English!”

    Me: “I think they are just visiting.”

    Other Customer: “Bulls***! Once they get into our country, they never leave! That’s why we need a fence.” *turns to the elderly couple* “Go back to Mexico!”

    Me: “They’re Canadian.”

    Other Customer: “Don’t lie to me. I heard you speaking Spanish!”

    Me: “That was French. Canada is a bilingual. Plenty of people in Canada speak French as their first language.”

    Other Customer: “We need a fence!”

    Me: “They are from Canada!”

    Other Customer: “We need TWO fences!”

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