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  • Category: Geography

    You may call them “lost”, but we prefer the name “geographically disadvantaged.”

    Abusing Democracy

    | FL, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Geography, Politics

    (It is the evening of July 3rd.)

    Customer: “Can you show me where you keep your American flags?”

    Me: “Down the holiday aisle, at the back.”

    (A few moments later, we hear her screaming. My manager runs back to find out what is happening. She is screaming so loud that we can hear every word.)

    Manager: “What’s wrong, ma’am?”

    Customer: “What’s wrong with you people!?”

    (She holds up the American flag box, and points at the ‘Made in China’ stamp on the bottom.)

    Manager: “I don’t see the problem, ma’am.”

    Customer: “How dare you people try to sell an American flag that was made in China!”

    Manager: “Ma’am, only the box was made in China.”

    Customer: “Don’t you try to pull that on me! I can clearly see the stamp that says this flag was made in China!”

    Manager: “It says the flag was made in the USA right here on the front of the box, ma’am.”

    Customer: “You’re lying to me again! I can’t believe how stupid you people are!”

    (She storms off. My manager and I have a little laugh, and then we get back to work. About half an hour later, two policemen come in and ask for my manager.)

    Manager: “How can I help you, officers?”

    Cop #1: “We got a call about an attempted homicide in this store.”

    Manager: “Really? This is the first I’ve heard of it. What happened?”

    Cop #2: “The lady that called 911 said that the people at this store, and were trying to kill her with their dropping prices.”

    (It’s clear by this point the cops are stifling a laugh, and are making light of the customer’s ridiculous call.)

    Cop #1: “Would you know anything about that?”

    Manager: “No, sir, as far as I know, we don’t drop our prices unless we’re sure they won’t land on anyone!”

    No Vocation For Location, Part 5

    | London, England, UK | Bigotry, Geography, Language & Words

    (I work at a call center for charities where we call people to confirm their details and thank them for their donations. I have recently moved from South Africa and am still getting used to some of the pronunciations around the UK.)

    Me: “Hello, this is Sarah calling on behalf of [charity]. I believe you spoke to John in Inverness on Saturday. Is that correct?”

    (I’ve pronounced it ‘In-ver-niss’ as opposed to ‘In-ver-ness’.)

    Man: “What?! How can you work in a f***ing call center and not even know how to pronounce the names?”

    Me: “I’m so sorry, sir. I’m not from England so I’m still getting used to all the names.”

    Man: “How f***ing dare you! I am not from England! I am from Scotland, you dumb b****! They’re different places! How don’t you know that? Didn’t you go to school?!”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, sir. I meant to say I’m new to the UK. Some of the names of places are still a bit tricky for me.”

    Man: *calmer* “Well, okay then. Where are you from?”

    Me: “Johannesburg in South Africa.”

    Man: “Oh, you mean Zimbabwe!”

    Me: “No, sir, they’re different countries.”

    Man: “They’re the same thing!”

    Related:
    No Vocation For Location, Part 4

    Tai-Want It Now

    | Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Geography, Technology

    (I am a customer waiting in line when I hear this exchange between the repair person and a customer.)

    Repair Person: “Alright, ma’am, we’re going to have to order some parts from the factory to get this fixed. They should be here in about 10 days.”

    Customer: *very angry* “10 days?! Are you serious? Why the h*** is it so long? What is wrong with you people?! In Taiwan, they could get parts the same day!”

    Repair Person: “Ma’am, in Taiwan, the factory is right next door.”

    Customer: *leaves, defeated*

    Yukon Freeze It, Part 2

    | ON, Canada | Canada, Extra Stupid, Geography

    (I work at a call centre located in Canada, but our focus is verifying orders placed for long distance phone service with a particular company in America, so all our incoming calls originate from there. I am on a call with a man from a Southern state.)

    Caller: “Where are you from?”

    Me: “We’re located in Canada, sir.”

    Caller: “Oh wow, you must see a lot of moose up there then?”

    Me: “Well, maybe more so out west, sir. But we are in Southern Ontario. There aren’t really any moose here.”

    Caller: “You must have a lot of snow, right?”

    Me: *it’s currently summer* “Yes, during the winter we can get lots of snow.”

    Caller: “How do you power your call centre?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir? We use electricity.”

    Caller: “Wouldn’t the heat from electricity melt the igloos?”

    (I have to mute my headset as I laugh and try to compose myself. I want so badly to joke with him, but our calls are recorded.)

    Me: “No, sir. We live in houses and buildings in cities just like you. Even way up north I don’t think you’d find any igloos anymore.”

    Caller: “Really? Oh. What were you asking me again?”

    (We resume the call as normal, but at the after our goodbyes, he jumps in.)

    Caller: “Wait! If I give you my email, can you send me a picture of a moose?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t do that.”

    Caller: “Aw, how come?”

    Me: “Because it’s against company policy and the moose are camera shy. Have a great day, sir!”

    Related:
    Yukon Freeze It

    Putting The Dire Into Directions

    | Cincinnati, OH, USA | Geography

    Customer: “Can you tell me how to get to your mall?”

    Me: “Sure; just tell me where you’re coming from and I’ll give you directions.”

    Customer: “I’m not telling you where I live.”

    Me: “That makes it hard for me to tell you how to get here.”

    Customer: “Oh. Washington, D.C.”

    Me: “Hop a plane to Cincinnati; call me when you get here.”

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