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    Category: Geography

    You may call them “lost”, but we prefer the name “geographically disadvantaged.”

    Take A Humble Sip From The Dixie Cup

    | Washington, DC, USA | Bigotry, Geography, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (I am originally from Georgia, but am attending university in DC. Because of where I was raised, I have a noticeable southern accent. I work at a local sports bar to help pay my tuition, and am serving two young men.)

    Me: “Hi, can I get y’all something to drink?”

    (Customer #1 scoffs, and imitates me with an exaggerated accent.)

    Customer #1: “Yawwwwlll?”

    Customer #2: “If I wanted to star in Deliverance, I would’ve gone to Alabama!”

    Customer #1: “Man, I’m sick of you hicks coming up here! You guys should all stay south of the Mason-Dixon line!”

    Me: “Actually, sir, geographically, DC is south of the Mason-Dixon.”

    Customer #1: “What do you know? You probably dropped out of high school and married your baby mama at 16!”

    Me: “Actually, I graduated as valedictorian from my high school, and I currently study history at [prestigious university]. I’m getting my Bachelor’s and Master’s degrees at the same time, and have a 4.0 GPA. I’m also gay, and have a long term boyfriend. So, no, I didn’t marry my ‘baby mama’.”

    (Both customers are speechless.)

    Me: “Now that I’m done breaking your archaic stereotypes, can I get y’all anything to drink?”

    Needs To Work On His Socialist Skills, Part 2

    | Rosemont, IL, USA | Geography, History, Politics

    (I am Swedish, and visiting friends in the US. I see a bag with some peanut butter and chocolate dipped pretzels.)

    Me: “Really?”

    (I show the bag to my friends.)

    Friend #1: “You don’t have that in Europe?”

    Me: “Nope, and I’m glad we don’t. You Americans are silly.”

    (We laugh a bit together, when suddenly an older man comes up.)

    Old Man: “You f****** communist! You think you can come here and demean us!?”

    Me: “Excuse me? I was ju—”

    Old Man: “Shut up, d*** Russian! Go back to Siberia, and pray to Stalin!”

    Friend #1: “Umm… he’s actually Swedish.”

    Old Man: “Are you a f****** commie too?”

    Friend #2: “None of us are! And frankly, we’ve had quite enough of your bull-s***, so p*** off.”

    Old Man: “Whatever, we still won the cold war!”

    (We just leave. Later on by the cash register, we see the same old man about to pay for his things. When he spots us, he points his finger towards us and shouts.)

    Old Man: “Watch out for the commie b*******!”

    Related:
    Needs To Work On His Socialist Skills

    Abusing Democracy

    | FL, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Geography, Politics

    (It is the evening of July 3rd.)

    Customer: “Can you show me where you keep your American flags?”

    Me: “Down the holiday aisle, at the back.”

    (A few moments later, we hear her screaming. My manager runs back to find out what is happening. She is screaming so loud that we can hear every word.)

    Manager: “What’s wrong, ma’am?”

    Customer: “What’s wrong with you people!?”

    (She holds up the American flag box, and points at the ‘Made in China’ stamp on the bottom.)

    Manager: “I don’t see the problem, ma’am.”

    Customer: “How dare you people try to sell an American flag that was made in China!”

    Manager: “Ma’am, only the box was made in China.”

    Customer: “Don’t you try to pull that on me! I can clearly see the stamp that says this flag was made in China!”

    Manager: “It says the flag was made in the USA right here on the front of the box, ma’am.”

    Customer: “You’re lying to me again! I can’t believe how stupid you people are!”

    (She storms off. My manager and I have a little laugh, and then we get back to work. About half an hour later, two policemen come in and ask for my manager.)

    Manager: “How can I help you, officers?”

    Cop #1: “We got a call about an attempted homicide in this store.”

    Manager: “Really? This is the first I’ve heard of it. What happened?”

    Cop #2: “The lady that called 911 said that the people at this store, and were trying to kill her with their dropping prices.”

    (It’s clear by this point the cops are stifling a laugh, and are making light of the customer’s ridiculous call.)

    Cop #1: “Would you know anything about that?”

    Manager: “No, sir, as far as I know, we don’t drop our prices unless we’re sure they won’t land on anyone!”

    No Vocation For Location, Part 5

    | London, England, UK | Bigotry, Geography, Language & Words

    (I work at a call center for charities where we call people to confirm their details and thank them for their donations. I have recently moved from South Africa and am still getting used to some of the pronunciations around the UK.)

    Me: “Hello, this is Sarah calling on behalf of [charity]. I believe you spoke to John in Inverness on Saturday. Is that correct?”

    (I’ve pronounced it ‘In-ver-niss’ as opposed to ‘In-ver-ness’.)

    Man: “What?! How can you work in a f***ing call center and not even know how to pronounce the names?”

    Me: “I’m so sorry, sir. I’m not from England so I’m still getting used to all the names.”

    Man: “How f***ing dare you! I am not from England! I am from Scotland, you dumb b****! They’re different places! How don’t you know that? Didn’t you go to school?!”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, sir. I meant to say I’m new to the UK. Some of the names of places are still a bit tricky for me.”

    Man: *calmer* “Well, okay then. Where are you from?”

    Me: “Johannesburg in South Africa.”

    Man: “Oh, you mean Zimbabwe!”

    Me: “No, sir, they’re different countries.”

    Man: “They’re the same thing!”

    Related:
    No Vocation For Location, Part 4

    Tai-Want It Now

    | Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Geography, Technology

    (I am a customer waiting in line when I hear this exchange between the repair person and a customer.)

    Repair Person: “Alright, ma’am, we’re going to have to order some parts from the factory to get this fixed. They should be here in about 10 days.”

    Customer: *very angry* “10 days?! Are you serious? Why the h*** is it so long? What is wrong with you people?! In Taiwan, they could get parts the same day!”

    Repair Person: “Ma’am, in Taiwan, the factory is right next door.”

    Customer: *leaves, defeated*

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