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    Category: Geography

    You may call them “lost”, but we prefer the name “geographically disadvantaged.”

    Trapped On Mount Karma

    | UK | Bad Behavior, Geography, Health & Body, Top

    (We are having one of the coldest Easters in record. I work in an outdoors equipment shop, where we sell everything for use in outdoor activities, from hiking boots and tents to climbing gear and ice picks. I also volunteer for the UK’s mountain rescue. My manager and colleagues all know this, and are happy for me to go on calls.)

    Customer: “I’m looking for some hiking boots so I can go out in the snow.”

    Me: “Okay, sir, they are just over here.”

    (We walk over to where we display our boots. As he is looking, I get paged that my team is going out on a rescue.)

    Me: “Sorry, sir, I am afraid I have to go. I volunteer for mountain rescue, but one of my colleagues will assist you.”

    Customer: “What! How dare you! You shouldn’t trouble me just because some random people managed to get themselves hurt.”

    (The customer grabs onto my sleeve. My manager comes over, as he is aware of my needing to leave.)

    Manager: “Sir, please let my employee leave. I will help you personally, and we will give you some free walking socks for your inconvenience.”

    (I eventually leave, and my team performs our rescue. The casualty had hypothermia and a broken leg, but other than that was fine. A couple of days later, my team get another call-out. I bet you can’t guess who it was…)

    Looking For A Toast To The East Coast

    | WI, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Geography

    (I work the night shift. We regularly get the bar crowd in trying to buy beer after the bars close. Due to a city ordinance, we can’t sell it after midnight.)

    Drunk Customer: “Where is all your beer?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir; we can’t sell beer after midnight.”

    Drunk Customer: “Well, where can I get beer?”

    Me: *jokingly* “I think the bars are still open in New York City!”

    Drunk Customer: “Cool, how do I get there?”

    Me: “It’s over one thousand miles away.”

    Drunk Customer: “No, which direction is it from here?”

    Coworker: “That way.” *points east*

    Drunk Customer: “Cool, well thanks.”

    (He stumbles out towards his car. I turn to my coworker.)

    Me: “You’d better call the police.”

    Coworker: “Already on it.”

    Racism Comes In Many Languages

    | AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Geography, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (I am standing behind a woman at a supermarket. Of the two cashiers available, one is of Asian descent and speaking in what seems to be Chinese to some customers. The other appears to be of Middle Eastern descent, whose customer is speaking very loudly and slowly.)

    Woman: “Do you understand what I’m saying? I want this in a separate bag.”

    Cashier: “Certainly, ma’am. I can definitely speak—”

    Woman: “—it’s like they don’t even cater for English speakers! Not a proper American in sight!”

    (The woman then spots me, a white guy in my late 20s.)

    Woman: “You’d know what I mean! Eh?”

    Me: “I’m an Australian tourist here visiting friends, et Je crois que vous ‘tes conasse raciste.”

    (“I think you’re a racist b****”, in French.)

    Woman: “UGH!”

    He Has Beef With You

    | KS, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Geography

    (An elderly man walks up to the toppings bar.)

    Customer: “Excuse me. Miss?”

    Me: “What can I help you with, sir?”

    Customer: “Have you got anything with meat in it?”

    (This is a frozen yogurt bar. We have various kinds of fruity and sweet yogurts and toppings. No one would usually expect to find meat anywhere.)

    Me: “Um, no, sir. Sorry about that.”

    Customer: “F****** vegans and vegetarians are taking over the whole f****** world! You haven’t got anything with some beef in it?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. That’s actually a kind of unusual request because this is basically dessert stuff.”

    Customer: “I’m an American! I ain’t a vegetarian! I eat meat in my dessert because this is America, d*** it!”

    (The customer throws his yogurt on the floor, making a huge mess. The next customer jumps out of the way, then resumes getting toppings while I clean.)

    Customer #2: “Just when you think you’ve seen it all!”

    Cannot Speak The Language Of Respect

    | USA | Bigotry, Geography, Language & Words, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (I am out to eat with a friend, and we are waiting for our table. There is an older Spanish-speaking couple nearby also waiting, and two boys of about high-school age. I don’t speak Spanish, but I picked up a handful of words from an old job.)

    Spanish-Speaking Woman: *asks me a question in Spanish*

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. I only know a few words in Spanish. What was that?”

    Spanish-Speaking Woman: *smiles, and repeats herself*

    (I realize she needs to know where the bathroom is.)

    Me: “Oh! See the stairs? Go to the hallway next to the stairs; it’s right there.”

    (She thanks me, and hurries off to the bathroom. The high school boys make faces at me, and chime in.)

    Boy #1: “Damn, b****, why are you helping them? You should’ve made them ask in English first!”

    Me: “I’m not going to dignify that with a response.”

    Boy #2: “Hey! You show me and my friend some respect, old lady! Do you know who we are?”

    Me: “I don’t care who you are, my dear child. Why don’t you go bother somebody else?”

    Boy #1: “Oh, hell naw! You ain’t talkin’ to me like that! You show me some respect, right now!”

    (He stamps his foot. My friend and I burst out laughing.)

    Me: “Oh, this is going to be an entertaining evening.”

    Boy #1: “You ain’t allowed to laugh at me; I’m a man!”

    Me: “No, dear. What you are is a minor child throwing a temper tantrum because you happen to be a racist. Now, shoo, adults are talking.”

    Boy #2: “Naw! All you gotta do is show them d*** immigrants who’s boss! They gotta speak our language if they want to be here! I went to Mexico and none of them f****** spoke English! Ain’t got no respect!”

    Me: “You do realize that Mexico is a different country, don’t you?”

    Boy #2: “Duh!”

    Me: “And their official language is Spanish.”

    Boy #2: “So?”

    Me: “So… you think that people who move here should have to speak English because most people here do, in some form or another. But when you visit other countries, where official language is not English, they should have to learn to make your life easier?”

    Boy #2: “Yes!”

    Me: “I… have a headache.”

    (The older Spanish-speaking couple are seated a few tables away from us. The teens are there to apply for jobs, but because they’d put on their little display in full view of the hostess, they were not-so-kindly shown the door.)

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