Category: Geography

You may call them “lost”, but we prefer the name “geographically disadvantaged.”

Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 10

| Halifax, NS, Canada | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Geography

(I work in a little bakery. It’s been a quiet evening when a customer’s car comes speeding in to a parking spot outside the front door. She gets out of her car with her cell phone in her out-stretched arm. She looks utterly confused as she enters the store.)

Me: “Hi there!”

Customer: “Yeah, hi.”

(The customer spins in a slow circle and looks around.)

Me: “Can I help you with anything?”

Customer: *looks at her phone* “Yeah, I’m looking for [address of location].”

Me: “You found it!”

Customer: “NO! My phone is saying this is [coffee shop]. This is supposed to be [coffee shop]!”

Me: “Oh, yeah. It used to be over two years ago, but they closed down and we moved in.”

Customer: “NO! My phone is saying that this is the location of the coffee shop. Where is it!?”

Me: “They closed over two years ago—”

Customer: “NO! Phones are not wrong. This is supposed to be [coffee shop]!”

Me: *looks around the bakery, than back to the customer* “Nope, this is [bakery]. Sorry to disappoint you.”

Customer: “I’m sorry; I’m just not understanding.”

(I have no idea how much more clearly I can let this customer know that the coffee shop closed down and she is standing in a bakery.)

Me: I’m sorry, ma’am, but this is [bakery]. There is another coffee shop down the road though.”

Customer: “Okay, I guess I’ll go down the street. But you’re sure there isn’t a coffee shop here?”

Me: “One thousand percent sure. Have a wonderful evening.”

(I watch her leave the store. She sits in her car for 10 minutes playing with her phone. I see violent movements coming from the car, so I call my coworker to the front. We watch while she violently shakes her phone and yells. I hope she finds that coffee shop and gets a decaf!)

Related:
Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 9
Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 8
Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 7
Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 6
Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 5
Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 4

No Vocation For Location, Part 7

| Baltimore, MD, USA | Geography, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

Me: “Thank you for calling [airline]; this is [my name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, I want to book a flight from here to Los Angeles.”

Me: “Okay, what city are you departing from?”

Caller: “I want to go to Los Angeles.”

Me: “From where?”

Caller: “From here.”

Me: “What city are you in?”

Caller: “The same as you.”

Me: “I’m in Baltimore, Maryland. Is that where you are?”

Caller: “No. Can’t you tell from my phone number?”

Me: “We have no way of knowing where you’re calling from. If you tell me what city you’d like to depart from, I can look up the flights for you.”

Caller: “Well if you don’t know where I am, what good are you?” *click*

Related:
No Vocation For Location, Part 6
No Vocation For Location, Part 5
No Vocation For Location, Part 4

Having A Light Bulb Moment, Part 3

, | Grand Canyon, AZ, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

(It’s almost dusk at the gift shop I am running at the southern rim of the Grand Canyon. A tourist couple approaches.)

Woman: “Where is the best spot to watch the Canyon at night?”

Me: “Well, anywhere along the walkway is good, but the sun’s going down very soon.”

Man: “Yes, we want to be here when they turn on the lights.”

Me: “…lights?”

Woman: “Yes, so we can see it at night.”

Me: “Umm, the Canyon is over a mile deep at this point, and the northern rim is over a mile across from here. There aren’t any lights in it for nighttime.”

Man: “Then how do you see it at night?”

Me: “…basically it’s the big blackness out there.”

Related:
Having A Light Bulb Moment, Part 2
Having A Light Bulb Moment

A Large Intelligence Gulf (Of Mexico)

| Orlando, FL, USA | Bigotry, Geography, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

Customer: “So, where are you located?”

Me: “In Orlando, Florida.”

Customer: “Ugh! I’m sick of all you foreigners taking jobs from us hard-working Americans!”

Me: “Ma’am, I am an American citizen. Florida is a state in America. Everyone who works in this call center is American.”

Customer: “I’m not stupid! I know Florida is in Mexico! I want to talk to an AMERICAN!”

Loonie Over A Toonie, Part 3

| Niagara Falls, ON, Canada | Canada, Geography, Money, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

(I work at a gift shop in Canada, just beside the US border, so we usually have a lot of American tourists. Our gift shop is one of the only places in the area that lets a customer perform their transactions in US currency.)

Customer: “Do you take real money?”

Me: *confused* “What do you mean?”

Customer: “Real money!”

(The customer holds up US currency.)

Me: “Oh, yes we take Canadian or American, and we’ll give you American change back if we have some in the till.”

Customer: “Good, you people here are weird about your money.”

Related:
Loonie Over A Toonie, Part 2
Loonie Over A Toonie

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