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  • November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

    Category: Geography

    You may call them “lost”, but we prefer the name “geographically disadvantaged.”

    Don’t Go Against Or He’ll Be Very (St. Georges) Cross

    | Denmark | Bizarre, Geography, Politics

    (A customer walks into to the shop where I work. He is talking to himself and starts laughing randomly. This conversation happens after he has paid for his purchase.)

    Customer: “By the way can you tell me which flag this is?” *shows me his coin purse*

    Me: “That is the English flag.”

    Customer: “The English flag looks like this?”

    Me: “Yes, that’s the English flag; it’s different from the British flag.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. And are the English with us or against us?”

    Me: “I think they’re with us; they were the last time I checked.”

    Customer: “Okay, thanks so much. Bye!”

    Me: *to my coworker* “I wonder what he would have done if I had said they were against us?”

    Hanging With The Customers

    | Australia | Bad Behavior, Geography

    (I volunteer for a charity second-hand store for a few months. One day a woman who is obviously in a bad mood walks into the store.)

    Customer: “Do you sell your clothes racks?”

    Me: “Ah, no, ma’am, we need them.”

    Customer: “Those racks?” *points to racks where our clothing is hanging*

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, we need them to hang our clothes on.”

    Customer: “They sell them in Sydney.”

    Me: “We aren’t Sydney, ma’am, and we need them to hang our clothing on.”

    Customer: “I’m getting your manager!”

    (My manager later told me about a crazy lady yelling at her because she wouldn’t sell the clothing racks to her!)

    Far Away From The Solution

    | MD, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Technology

    (I work in the IT Help Desk at a university.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, you’re really far away from the microphone. I can’t hear you. Please repeat the info.”

    Caller: *repeats info*

    Me: “I just cannot hear you. You’re really far away.”

    Caller: “Well, yeah, it’s a Skype call and I’m in Ireland, so of course it’s far away.”

    Me: “…”

    Won’t Go The Distance For The Sale

    | Fort Walton Beach, FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Geography

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Craft Store]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I was trying to order some blackout curtain fabric last night, and the website was acting up and I couldn’t order it. If I come into the store, can you order it for me if you don’t have enough?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

    Customer: “The problem is that I was trying to order it last night when it was on sale, and the sale ended at midnight, so now it’s full price. Is there any way I can still get it half price?”

    Me: “I’m not management, so I can’t tell you for sure, but more than likely if you explain that to one of our managers, they will override the price for you since the website was malfunctioning.”

    Customer: “Wonderful. Now, I’m staying in a hotel in [Town]. Can you give me directions? I mean, I’m a local, but [something about a realtor and having to stay in a hotel].”

    Me: “I can give you basic directions. From [Town], you just have to take [Highway] until you cross the bridge, then turn right on [Other Highway], go a couple miles north past [Burger Joint] and the bridge, and we’re on the left in [Plaza].”

    Customer: “That’s too far!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. It’s really not that far from [Town].”

    Customer: “Well, let me talk to someone else. Maybe they can give me better directions.”

    Me: “Okay, I’ll put you on the phone with [Coworker]. Maybe she can help.” *puts customer on hold and radios coworker* “Can you talk to the woman on line one? I gave her directions, but I guess they weren’t good enough.”

    (My coworker takes the call and I hear her give a slightly more detailed explanation of the directions I just gave the woman. Then I hear the phone being not-so-gently hung up.)

    Me: “I see that went well?”

    Coworker: “Evidently she didn’t like my directions either, because she hung up on me.”

    Me: “Well, you gave her the same directions I did, so I guess she was disappointed that talking to someone else didn’t change the location of our store, because she thinks 15 miles is too far.”

    Has No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 8

    | AZ, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Money

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Credit Card Services]. I’m [My Name]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “I want to make a payment.”

    (I take payment.)

    Customer: “Am I late?”

    Me: “Unfortunately, yes. The cut off time is midnight Eastern Time. But I can look into the late fee for you.”


    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “I’m in Texas! It’s not midnight where I am!”

    Me: “I understand that, but we go by eastern time—”

    Customer: “That’s just a made up rule!”

    Me: “Sir, time is not a made up rule…”

    No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 7
    No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 6
    No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 5

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