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    Category: Geography

    You may call them “lost”, but we prefer the name “geographically disadvantaged.”

    They Have It Made

    | ON, Canada | Geography, Health & Body, Transportation

    (I work night shift at a very popular Canadian coffee chain. Four drunk customers walk into the store, barely able to stand. I spot a white limo outside and these customers are dressed like they’ve been out clubbing.)

    Me: “Hey, there. What can I get you ladies?”

    Drunk Customer: “Hey, um, I have a question?”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Drunk Customer: “Um, what city are we in?”

    Me: *stammering* “P-pardon me?”

    Drunk Customer: “Oh, my God. Are you deaf? What CITY are we in?”

    Me: “Erm… you’re in between [City #1] and [City #2].”

    Drunk Customer: *turns back to her friends* “OH, MY GOD, GUYS! WE MADE IT!”

    (It turned out that the ladies had been gambling in Niagara Falls, about three hours away. After asking for the address of the place and reassuring me that they lived in City #1 and they were headed home (they thought), they left without asking for anything and I was left to wonder exactly how intoxicated one had to be to be that lost and that un-phased by it.)

    Not In A Good State To Come In

    | Raleigh, NC, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Time

    (I am working the front desk, and the phone rings. It is about 2:45 in the afternoon.)

    Caller: “Hi. I was wondering if [Stylist] has any appointments today.”

    Me: “Sorry, we don’t have a stylist by that name here, but I could make you an appointment with someone else. The earliest we can fit you in is 3:15.”

    Caller: “Great, I’ll take it.”

    (I make the appointment. 3:15 comes, and the girl does not show up. At 3:30 I give her a call back.)

    Me: “Hi, [Caller]. Are you still planning to come in?”

    Caller: “Yeah, 3:15 right?”

    Me: “Yes, but it’s 3:35 now.”

    Caller: “No, it’s only 12:35.”

    Me: “This is [Salon] in Raleigh, North Carolina.”

    Caller: “Oh… I’m in Idaho.”

    They’re Behind The ‘Shall Not Pass’ Signs

    | Jewel Cave, SD, USA | Geeks Rule, Geography, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (We are on a group tour through caves, 200-300 feet underground. There are metal stairs and viewing platforms along the path. At each platform, a park ranger will describe what we are seeing, talk about the cave’s exploration history, and answer any questions. One question comes from a young teen girl on the tour. )

    Girl: “Are there balrogs in these caves?”

    Park Ranger: “Ball rocks?”

    Girl: “BAL-rogs, from Lord Of The Rings?”

    Park Ranger: “Uh, not that I know of…”

    Taiwannical Behavior, Part 2

    | Taiwan | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Geography, Politics

    (I am Caucasian and work in Taiwan. Taiwan is a de facto independent country, even though China claims otherwise. Chinese tourist are notorious for harassing the locals on that issue, but I never had to deal with that personally.)

    Customer: *rudely, as she enter the store* “You work here?”

    Me: “Yes, I do.”

    Customer: “You live in this city?”

    Me: “Yup, for many years now.”

    Customer: “Why you choose here and not Beijing?”

    Me: *cautiously, as I realize from her accent she is Chinese* “I like the life here.”

    Customer: “But Beijing is better! You should come to Beijing instead.”

    Me: “Beijing is probably very nice. Maybe I will visit someday.”

    Customer: “You better move. This city is no good. Beijing is better.”

    Me: “So, may I assume you are from Beijing?”

    Customer: *proudly* “Yes, I am!”

    Me: “Cool! So we are both foreigners here!”

    (She gave me a very black, angry look, then left the store without saying another word.)

    Related:
    Taiwannical Behavior

    Caribbean There, Done That

    | London, England, UK | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Geography

    (I’m a volunteer lunch-server in a nursing home, but I’ve spent the last month working in the south of France. I’ve picked up a slight tan, but usually my skin is as white as it gets. One lady stares at me oddly as I bring her her food.)

    Lady: “Where are you from?”

    Me: “From here, ma’am. I live a few roads away.”

    Lady: “No, I mean where were you born?”

    Me: “Finchley, originally, but I moved—”

    Lady: “No, no, no. Where are you from?”

    Me: “Uh. London, ma’am. Britain.”

    Lady: “And your parents?”

    Me: “Also from London.”

    Lady: *squints at me* “No, you’re lying. There’s no shame in being Jamaican, you know. You can tell me.”

    Me: “I… What?”

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