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  • De-Engineering Stereotypes
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  • September Theme Of The Month: Return Of The Geeks!
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    Category: Geeks Rule

    Whether you call them geeks, nerds, or dorks, we’re proud to call the masters of all that is obtuse and purveyors of hopelessly inane facts and fiction our friends. From Trekkies and Sith Lords to Muggles and Team Jacob (okay, Edward too), this category is dedicated to stories about those who rise above cool — and will probably end up ruling the world!

    Declawing The Villains

    | Kansas City, MO, USA | Geeks Rule, Theme Of The Month

    (A customer and her five-year-old son enter the store.)

    Me: “Hi, is there anything you’re looking for today?”

    Little Boy: “I know what that means!”

    Me: “…what, what means?”

    Little Boy: “That!”

    (The boy points at the pins on my lanyard.)

    Little Boy: “That’s Dr Claw’s sign! You like Inspector Gadget!”

    Me: “You are the first person to know that.”

    Little Boy: “Claw is a silly name. If Dr Claw ever bothers you, I’ll punch him.”

    Me: “Thanks, kid. That’s sweet.”

    Jellyfishing For Giggles

    | USA | Geeks Rule, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (I work third shift as a cashier in a major retail chain. To keep everything running smoothly, all third shift cashiers are trained for running the service desk and answering the phone. It is spring break and there has been an increase of prank phone calls.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [large retail store]; how may I assist you?”

    Caller: *giggling and unintelligible gibberish*

    Me: “Sorry, what was that?”

    Caller: “Is this the Krusty Krab?”

    Me: *deadpan voice* “No, this is Patrick.”

    Caller: *fits of laughter* “Thank you! You made my night!”

    Reminder #2: Geeks Rule Themed Giveaway

    | Not Always Right | Announcements, Geeks Rule, Theme Of The Month
    Want to win a Not Always Right t-shirt?
    Enter Not Always Right’s July Themed Story Giveaway:
    Geeks Rule!

    Entering is as easy as 1-2-3:

    1. Submit a funny or interesting story about geeks.
    2. Enter your email address in the form to qualify.
    3. All posted stories will be entered in a drawing to win a free t-shirt gift certificate, to use in the official Not Always Right shop!

    PS: winners will be announced the first Wednesday of every month. Next free t-shirt gift certificate: Wednesday, August 7!

    He Will Utter It Here

    | Austin, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Geeks Rule, Theme Of The Month

    (I am female, and work in a video game and movie resale store. I’ve been a fan of fantasy and sci-fi my whole life. I’m busy at the computer making a sign for a display, when a customer comes into the store.)

    Me: “Hello! Let me know if I can help you find anything, or if you have any questions.”

    (The customer just looks at the floor. He goes over to look at movies, when suddenly he holds up a box and a ring on a necklace.)

    Customer: “They match.”

    (I looked up. He’s holding ‘The One Ring’ on a gold chain, and holding the box art to ‘Lord of the Rings’.)

    Customer: “The writing, it matches. I just wanted to make sure it matched.”

    (We frequently get cosplayers in the store, and I enjoy talking about whatever fandom people are into. I was about to ask where he got his replica, when he starts turning the ring around in his fingers.)

    Customer: “The language is that of Mordor, which I will not utter here. In the common tongue it reads “One Ring to Rule Them All. One Ring to Find Them. One Ring to Bring Them All and In The Darkness Bind Them”.”

    (I raise an eyebrow and keep smiling. He begins to walk towards the counter, caressing the ring and begins Galadriel’s soliloquy from the opening of The Fellowship of the Ring.)

    Customer: “The world is changed. I feel it in the water. I feel it in the earth. I smell it in the air. Much that once was is lost, for none now live who remember it. It began with the forging of the Great Rings…”

    (My co-worker comes out from the back-room mid-soliloquy, and sees the look of somewhat bemused consternation on my face.)

    Coworker: “Um [name], have you seen the new plush we just got in?”

    Me: “No! I haven’t! They’re adorable!”

    Coworker: “I KNOW RIGHT!?”

    (The customer looks disappointed, but patiently waits out our exchange. As soon as my coworker goes back to the back stock, HE STARTS OVER FROM THE BEGINNING.)

    Customer: “It began with the forging of the Great Rings. Three were given to the Elves, immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings. Seven to the Dwarf lords…”

    Coworker: “Um, [name], when you get a chance can you come back here; I have a question about this item.”

    Me: “Sure. I’ll be there in just a minute.”

    (I glance at the customer, and back at my coworker.)

    Customer: “It’s all right. It’s just… The writing, it matches. I just wanted to make sure it matched.”

    (At that, he puts the DVD back and quietly leaves the store. I’m still not entirely sure what happened. He hasn’t ever come back, but if he does, hopefully he knows ‘gi nathlam h”‘—Sindarin (or Elvish) for ‘you are welcome here’.)

    Thou Shall Find Lovecraft Online, Ramen

    | Philadelphia, PA, USA | Books & Reading, Extra Stupid, Geeks Rule, Religion, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m a waitress in a popular buffet chain restaurant. I am serving a middle aged customer who is wearing a shirt that has a picture of Cthulhu and the Flying Spaghetti Monster in a heart. Beneath it is the caption ‘we met on the internet’.)

    Me: “That’s a great shirt!”

    Woman: “Thanks. I think it says a lot about the kind of people you find on the internet.”

    Me: “How do you mean?”

    Woman: “You know, how there’s nothing but monsters online.”

    To see the t-shirt design mentioned in this story, visit the NotAlwaysRomantic Extras section, which can be found here!

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