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    Category: Geeks Rule

    Whether you call them geeks, nerds, or dorks, we’re proud to call the masters of all that is obtuse and purveyors of hopelessly inane facts and fiction our friends. From Trekkies and Sith Lords to Muggles and Team Jacob (okay, Edward too), this category is dedicated to stories about those who rise above cool — and will probably end up ruling the world!

    Reminder: Geeks Rule Themed Giveaway

    | Not Always RightNot Always Right | Announcements, Geeks Rule, Theme Of The Month
    Want to win a Not Always Right t-shirt?
    Enter Not Always Right’s July Themed Story Giveaway:
    Geeks Rule!

    Entering is as easy as 1-2-3:

    1. Submit a funny or interesting story about geeks.
    2. Enter your email address in the form to qualify.
    3. All posted stories will be entered in a drawing to win a free t-shirt gift certificate, to use in the official Not Always Right shop!

    PS: winners will be announced the first Wednesday of every month. Next free t-shirt gift certificate: Wednesday, August 7!

    Space-Time Is Money

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Geeks Rule, Technology, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (A customer enters, walks to the middle of the store, and starts looking around.)

    Me: “You look lost.”

    Customer: “Where’s your time machine?”

    Me: “…sorry, what?”

    Customer: “Don’t you guys have a time machine?”

    Me: *laughing* “I kind of wish we did.”

    Customer: “That’s weird that you don’t have one.”

    (There is a pause.)

    Customer: “Wait, what did I say?”

    Me: “You asked for a time machine.”

    Customer: “Oh, God, I meant an ATM machine.”

    Me: “Yup, right over here.”

    Customer: “Sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking.”

    Me: “It’s alright, you made my day. Good luck finding the time machine!”

    A Super-Brew, Iron Grind, And Served Dark (Knight)

    | QLD, Australia | Food & Drink, Geeks Rule, Theme Of The Month

    (The coffee chain I work at collects money for a children’s charity. Once a month we dress up in costumes; it’s a lot of fun. This month the theme is Superheroes. I’m female, but dressed as Iron Man; there’s also Wonder Woman, Super Girl, and Batgirl.)

    Elderly Customer: “Can you actually fly in that get-up?”

    Me: “Sure can, but it spills the coffees.”

    Male Customer: “Super heroes? Serving coffee? It’s like all my teenage dreams come true! Except for you, Iron Man, cause I don’t swing that way.”

    Regular Customer: “Did you get a second job?”

    Me: “Yep. Saving the world doesn’t pay the bills.”

    July Themed Story Giveaway: Geeks Rule!

    | Not Always Right | Announcements, Geeks Rule, Theme Of The Month
    Want to win a Not Always Right t-shirt?
    Enter Not Always Right’s July Themed Story Giveaway:
    Geeks Rule!

    Entering is as easy as 1-2-3:

    1. Submit a funny or interesting story about geeks.
    2. Enter your email address in the form to qualify.
    3. All posted stories will be entered in a drawing to win a free t-shirt gift certificate, to use in the official Not Always Right shop!

    PS: Congratulations to a lucky reader for winning June Themed Story Giveaway, which featured stories about Wild & Unruly Customers. The winning submission: Hey Mr DJ, Put My Record On (3,112 thumbs up).

    PS #2: winners will be announced the first Wednesday of every month. Next free t-shirt gift certificate: Wednesday, August 7!

    Chalk Is His Kryptonite

    | FL, USA | Food & Drink, Geeks Rule, Top

    Customer: “I also want a pound of Swiss cheese, but I don’t want it sliced.”

    Me: “So you’d just like a one-pound block of cheese?”

    Customer: “Exactly. Can you do that?”

    Me: “I sure can.”

    (I take the cheese over to the sandwich station to get a large knife, measure approximately where I think one pound would be, and cut off a block. I put it on the scale, and much to my satisfaction, the weight of the block I cut is 1.005 pounds.)

    Me: “Well hey, that was pretty good!”

    (The customer looks at the scales.)

    Customer: “Oh, my God! How did you do that?!”

    Me: “Lots of practice?”

    Customer: “No, no, that wouldn’t do it. You must have some kind of supernatural cheese power!”

    Me: “Well, I was born on a dying cheese planet, and sent to Earth in a cheese rocket by my parents. Exposure to Earth’s yellow sun gives me cheese powers.”

    Customer: “Whoa. Honey, come here! You’ve got to see this!”

    (The customer’s wife comes over and listens to the story.)

    Customer’s Wife: “Holy s***. Can you do that again?”

    (I look over at my manager, who rolls her eyes and gives me a ‘go ahead’ wave. I cut another block off the Swiss cheese and weigh it. It comes up to 0.995 pounds.)

    Customer’s Wife: “Jesus Christ!”

    (She grabs the arm of another passing customer.)

    Customer’s Wife: “You’ve got to see this! This guy is Cheese Man!”

    Me: “Ma’am, please don’t give away my secret identity. The cheese villains of the world would hunt me down.”


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