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    Category: Geeks Rule

    Whether you call them geeks, nerds, or dorks, we’re proud to call the masters of all that is obtuse and purveyors of hopelessly inane facts and fiction our friends. From Trekkies and Sith Lords to Muggles and Team Jacob (okay, Edward too), this category is dedicated to stories about those who rise above cool — and will probably end up ruling the world!

    Doesn’t Make A Lycan Sense

    | USA | Books & Reading, Geeks Rule, Pets & Animals

    (We get a lot of kids at the library where I work. One of our regular customers, who’s about eight years old, walks up to me.)

    Customer: “[My name], I have an important question.”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Customer: “Are werewolves real?”

    Me: “Nope, werewolves are made up.”

    (He looks taken aback, like that wasn’t the response he was expecting.)

    Customer: “What?! But, but wolves are real!”

    Me: “Right. But wolves are wolves, and people are people.

    Customer: “Huh?”

    Me: “If you’re born a wolf, you’re a wolf for the rest of your life. If you’re born a person, you’ll stay a person. So since you were born a person, you’ll never turn into a wolf.”

    (The customer thinks about this for a minute.)

    Customer: “That doesn’t make any sense!”

    (The customer walks away, slowly shaking his head.)

    Karkat, Thor, And Loki Walk Into A Bar…

    , | Manchester, England, UK | Bigotry, Geeks Rule, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (A con is going on nearby, and the fast food joint is full of people in cosplay. A rather attractive woman—dressed as a cheerleader with a pink chainsaw—leaves the building with her friends. They are whistled at by two rowdy customers entering.)

    Customer #1: “Hey dude, check out all these freaks in here!”

    Customer #2: “Oh, God! They’re everywhere! F****** freaks.”

    Customer #1: *to a male cosplayer in front of him* “Oi mate, what the f*** are you supposed to be?”

    Male Cosplayer #1: “M-me? I’m ‘Karkat’ from Homestuck.”

    Customer #1: “Well, you look like a joke. What the f*** are those on your head?”

    (The customer flicks the orange horns clipped to the cosplayer’s hair.)

    Male Cosplayer #1: “Please don’t do that; I made these myself and I don’t want them to break.”

    Customer #2: “You hear that? The little freak made his own horns! Ah, I guess it’s not all bad though; did you see that chick before with the massive rack?”

    Customer #1: “I know, you don’t see hot cheerleaders everyday. She’s totally going to get it off me later.”

    Customer #2: “Yeah, we’ll find her and give it to her good. I’m going to squeeze those t*** of her so hard.”

    Male Cosplayer #1: “Can you please stop?! It’s really degrading to talk about women like that.”

    (The whole restaurant goes quiet, and they turn to the rowdy customers.)

    Customer #1: “If the slag didn’t want it, should wouldn’t have them hanging out.”

    Male Cosplayer #1: “She was in costume! Besides, what does it matter how she was dressed? Clothing isn’t an invitation.”

    Customer #2: “Do you want to take this outside?”

    (Just then, another male customer in the corner, who also happens to be a cosplayer, speaks up.)

    Male Cosplayer #2: “If you fight him, you have to fight me first!”

    Customer #2: “Who said that?”

    (Male Cosplayer #2 stands up to reveal he is well over 6 ft tall, and very muscular, but in costume too.)

    Male Cosplayer #2: “I am Thor, Son of Odin, God of Thunder, who commands the Lightning and the Storm!”

    (At that moment, a third cosplayer stands up, revealing he too is very tall and muscular.)

    Male Cosplayer #3: “And I am Loki of Asgard, and I am burdened with glorious purpose… to defend women from sexist pigs like you, and defend people’s right to cosplay!”

    (The two rowdy customers quickly remove themselves from the restaurant, while Karkat, Thor and Loki receive a round of applause.)

    Related:
    Link, Nyu And Sephiroth Walk Into A Bar…

    Geeks Rule Themed Giveaway Roundup

    | Not Always Right | Geeks Rule, Roundups, Theme Of The Month

    Geeks Rule Themed Giveaway Roundup! Here’s a final roundup of stories from last month’s themed giveaway!

    1. Link, Nyu, And Sephiroth Walk Into A Bar… (2,603 thumbs up)
    2. Time And Relative Dimensions In Cyberspace (1,568 thumbs up)
    3. Saving Souls And Money (2,718 thumbs up)
    4. Yaoi Got To Be Kidding (1,286 thumbs up)
    5. Space-Time Is Money (2,133 thumbs up)
    6. The Text Signaler Concurrence (1,557 thumbs up)
    7. The Song Broke Loose And Then Vamoose And Now You Know The Plot (2,067 thumbs up)
    8. Look Into Your Heart You Know It To Be True (1,884 thumbs up)
    9. Declawing The Villains (1,791 thumbs up)
    10. The Fully-Insured Walking Dead (1,512 thumbs up)

    PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    Rangers Triumph Again

    | NJ, USA | Bigotry, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m a girl looking around the movie section of a popular superstore. A male customer happens to be walking next to me through the aisle. I am wearing a Power Rangers/Pokémon crossover t-shirt. Traditionally, the red Power Ranger is the male team leader, while the pink is the ‘girly girl’ or stereotypical ‘chick’.)

    Customer: “Power Rangers, huh?”

    Me: “Huh? Oh, yeah.”

    Customer: “Why red, though?”

    Me: “Just liked the Charizard, I guess.”

    Customer: “You shouldn’t have wanted Red though. You should’ve gotten Pink!”

    Me: “…why? Because I’m a girl?”

    Customer: “Yeah! No girl would ever be the Red Ranger!”

    Me: “Actually there have been at least two female Red Rangers. The A-Squad team in ‘SPD’ had a female Red, as did the ‘Samurai’ season.”

    Customer: “Those seasons didn’t exist!”

    Me: “…yes, they did.”

    Customer: “How would you know? You’re a girl!”

    Me: “Yes, as you’ve been telling me. Would you also like to comment on the ‘Mass Effect’ games I have in the car, or—” *I hold up my right hand* “—or perhaps on my Superman ring, too, since apparently I can’t be a female geek?”

    (The customer stares at me for a minute before mumbling an apology, and slinking away.)

    Yaoi Got To Be Kidding

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Bigotry, Books & Reading, Geeks Rule, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at a comic shop that has a high number of female employees, with most of my coworkers having a specialty in knowledge; i.e. comics, figurines, card games, etc. A pair of very obnoxious customers walks in, and heads straight to me at the back of the shop.)

    Customer #1: “Hey, I need to know if you have a [specific arc] of X-force?”

    Coworker #1: “Do you mean [arc] of the third series, or that old one done by Loeb?”

    Customer #2: “Hey b****! Butt out! I’m asking the only real nerd on your staff a question.”

    Me: “I’m not sure, however [coworker #1] organizes our older comic collection and probably knows if we have it or not.”

    Customer #1: “Quit trying to give the b**** fake nerd cred, yo. Everyone knows the only girls who work here are a bunch of Yaoi-fangirls.”

    (Customer #1 points towards our manga and anime section. Coworker #2 walks over due to all the commotion.)

    Coworker #2: “You do realize that [my name] is the only one of us who reads manga? H***, it’s why we hired him in the first place.”

    (Both customers look pretty embarrassed, and quietly ask Coworker #1 if we have the comic arc in question. They won’t even look at any of us as they pay for their purchase. After they leave, Coworker #1 comes up to me.)

    Coworker #1: “So, apparently you’re a Yaoi-fangirl?”

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