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    Category: Geeks Rule

    Whether you call them geeks, nerds, or dorks, we’re proud to call the masters of all that is obtuse and purveyors of hopelessly inane facts and fiction our friends. From Trekkies and Sith Lords to Muggles and Team Jacob (okay, Edward too), this category is dedicated to stories about those who rise above cool — and will probably end up ruling the world!

    The Ten Doctors Versus The Ten Commandments, Part 2

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Family & Kids, Geeks Rule, Religion

    (I am queuing for my meal at a diner. I am a huge ‘Doctor Who’ fan. I am looking at an annual from the old series (1963 – 1989) when the customer behind me in the queue looks over at me.)

    Customer: “Hey! Why are you reading that bulls***?”

    Me: “It’s not bulls***.”

    Customer: “It is! That thing’s evil! It lies about how the universe was made! It says the universe has more than humans!”

    Me: *annoyed* “Look, if you want to be b****y, then push off.”

    (I see the customer leave, and I get my meal, thinking nothing more about it. Then the customer gets the seating next to me. I’m about to get away when she comes near, but she gestures to stop.)

    Customer: “Listen, I’m sorry I was like that. It’s just that I’ve had a bad history with the show.”

    Me: “What happened?”

    Customer: “How old are you?”

    Me: “20.”

    Customer: “When I was a few years younger than you, I watched that show like anything. I absolutely loved it. But my parents are members of [really religious group], and said it was against our belief. I kept telling them I didn’t care what they said; I liked the show and I know this sounds silly, but I loved The Doctor. He actually did look good then. But my mom threw the television out the window and shouted at me. So I get memories whenever I see it.”

    Me: “I am SO sorry! Listen, I’m really sorry I did that. If you want, I can give you the annual. You’ve missed out a LOT.”

    Customer: “I don’t know about anything that happened in the last 30 years on the show. My parents even told me I was being a stupid lovesick girl. Well, they’re in the old people home now, so I don’t care.”

    (I proceed to tell her most of what I know, and give her an address for a shop of old show memorabilia. I’m just happy someone can overcome their problems.)

    Related:
    The Ten Doctors Versus The Ten Commandments

    She Got Trumped

    | UK | Family & Kids, Geeks Rule

    (We have a regular couple of customers: a mother and her young son. They come in predominantly to buy trading cards based on a popular hand-held game. The young boy is very polite and sometimes comes alone. The mother is loathed by most members of staff because of her critical attitude towards her son’s hobby and our stock.)

    Mother: “This store is just ridiculous. Why do you stock such crap? Children wasting their money! Parents wasting their money!”

    Me: “Well, if he’s saved his money up, it’s all his choice to buy these trading cards, isn’t it?”

    Mother: “Yes, but it’s just rubbish! Stupid drivel for STUPID people!”

    (My manager, who is nearby, and I are both irritated by this. This woman tends to bully her son every time they are here together. Her son is completely silent other than asking for what packs of cards he wants. As the receipt prints, my manager speaks up.)

    Manager: “You know, my colleague here plays trading card games.”

    Mother: “What? Why?!”

    (Note: I’m 23.)

    Manager: “So, by that connection, you’d be calling her stupid, for playing stupid games.”

    Mother: “Well, yes!”

    Me: “Stupid games that teach things like mathematical and tactical skills.”

    Mother: “Well—”

    Me: “And that you are, effectively, calling your money-managing, polite, patient young son stupid.”

    Mother: “Well—”

    Me: “Just remember that.”

    (The mother goes white and apologizes profusely, before leaving the store. The son ends up talking to me about some of the card games, and now still does every time he comes back. The mother might still make disparaging remarks about our other stock, but she’s never called anything or anyone ‘stupid’ since.)

    Stark Raving Mad

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV

    (An older customer walks in very quickly and glares at me.)

    Me: “Good morning!”

    Customer:What does ‘winter is coming’ mean?!”

    (The customer is referring to our ‘Game Of Thrones’ themed red-wine window.)

    Me: “Oh! It’s the tagline, sort of, to a very popular series of books and TV show.”

    Customer: “Well, you should be shot in the head with a small derringer. It should read, ‘autumn is here, winter is near.’”

    Me: “Well, it’s a pop culture reference and has been very successful for us. I’m not sure what your intention is, coming in here and telling me I should be shot.”

    Customer: “WELL DO YOU ONLY SELL WINE TO TRENDY PEOPLE?! I OWN AN ADVERTISING AGENCY! I’M TRYING TO HELP YOU!” *storms out*

    The Ten Doctors Versus The Ten Commandments

    , | USA | Crazy Requests, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV, Religion

    (I order my food, and I sit down and start watching an episode of ‘Doctor Who’ on my smartphone with my headphones. Another customer taps me on the shoulder. I turn around to see a girl in her late teens.)

    Customer: “Is that Doctor Who?”

    Me: “Yeah, are you a fan?!”

    Customer: “No! I am asking you to shut it off!”

    Me: “Why?”

    Customer: “Because my church says that Doctor Who is evil, and I am asking you to shut it off.”

    Me: “Umm, no, I am not turning it off. Besides, I have my headphones in, so you don’t have to watch it.”

    Customer: “No, you have to respect my views and turn it off! It’s against my religion; it’s evil! Now turn it off!”

    (The customer grabs for my phone. I pull my phone away before she can grab it.)

    Me: “Don’t touch my phone!”

    Customer:Doctor Who is evil! They are trying to brain-wash our young minds! They want us to support gay marriage and be atheist!”

    Me: “Well, if you really did understand Doctor Who, you would have seen that the Tenth Doctor was talking about Christmas, and he said that he was there when Jesus was born. Also the Doctor is very open-minded; he would save you even if you did call him evil.”

    Customer:DOCTOR WHO IS EVIL!”

    (The customer continues screaming and cussing and eventually gets herself kicked out. Afterwards, one of the restaurant’s workers comes up to me.)

    Worker: “Sorry about that.”

    Me: “It’s okay!”

    Worker: “Best Doctor?”

    Me: “Four, duh!”

    (We then high five, and I go my way.)

    Doesn’t Make A Lycan Sense

    | USA | Books & Reading, Geeks Rule, Pets & Animals

    (We get a lot of kids at the library where I work. One of our regular customers, who’s about eight years old, walks up to me.)

    Customer: “[My name], I have an important question.”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Customer: “Are werewolves real?”

    Me: “Nope, werewolves are made up.”

    (He looks taken aback, like that wasn’t the response he was expecting.)

    Customer: “What?! But, but wolves are real!”

    Me: “Right. But wolves are wolves, and people are people.

    Customer: “Huh?”

    Me: “If you’re born a wolf, you’re a wolf for the rest of your life. If you’re born a person, you’ll stay a person. So since you were born a person, you’ll never turn into a wolf.”

    (The customer thinks about this for a minute.)

    Customer: “That doesn’t make any sense!”

    (The customer walks away, slowly shaking his head.)


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