October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: Geeks Rule

Whether you call them geeks, nerds, or dorks, we’re proud to call the masters of all that is obtuse and purveyors of hopelessly inane facts and fiction our friends. From Trekkies and Sith Lords to Muggles and Team Jacob (okay, Edward too), this category is dedicated to stories about those who rise above cool — and will probably end up ruling the world!

I Quit From This Stupid Situation

| Canada | Extra Stupid, Geeks Rule, Theme Of The Month

(I’m shopping in the hardware store, wearing jeans and a green gaming shirt. All the employees of that store wear red shirts. When this happens, I’m pushing my cart while texting a friend about what I should buy.)

Client: “Excuse me, miss?”

Me: “…yes?”

Client: “Where are the rugs?”

Me: “Eh… I have no clue, sorry.”

Client: “What kind of employee are you?”

Me: “An “employee –“” *I make a big emphasis on the word employee while making a quote mark move with my fingers* “— who’s wearing a Dungeons and Dragons shirt while texting on the job?”

Client: “I’m gonna report you to your manager!”

Me: “You just have to look for someone with a red shirt to report me; all the employees here are wearing them.”

Client: “And you’re not even wearing your uniform? How did they not fire you yet? You don’t know where your products are in the store and you don’t respect your work rules! Find me your manager, NOW! I want to complain immediately!”

Me: “Did it not occur to you that I’m not working here?”

(At this point, I go around him and start texting again while leaving the aisle. He follows me.)

Client: “I’m not leaving you until you lead me to a manager.”

Me: “Okay, then.”

(I go to the service counter and ask for a manager.)

Client: “You’re so gonna be fired!”

Manager: “Hi! How may I help you?”

Client: “How can you let someone work here dressed like that, and text on the job? I demand she be fired immediately for such bad behavior! On top of that, she refused to help me and was about to get away with it, but I followed her until she accepted to ask for a manager. ”

Manager: “Uh… she’s obviously not an employee here.”

Client: “You’re protecting her! I want to see the general manager! It’s not going to end up good, I promise you!”

Manager: “I assure you, she’s a client like you! Look around. All the employees are wearing red shirts!”

Client: “Yeah, she’s not wearing her uniform. I WANT TO SEE A HIGHER MANAGER!”

Me: *a bit pissed off by the situation* “Hey. Let’s get this over with. I quit. I’ve had enough of this low paying job with stupid clients like you. That’s it. I’m done. I’m leaving now. I’ll come in to get my last paycheck next week. It was a pleasure working with you, but I can’t anymore.”

Client: “Ha! I was right. You do work here! Well, worked. Thank you, sir!”

(He leaves, leaving both the manager and I with baffled looks on our faces.)

Manager: “Well, that’s a good way to solve a problem! It was nice being your coworker for… two minutes!”

Gotta Catch All The Compliments

| NJ, USA | Family & Kids, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV

(A mother and her twelve-year-old son are preparing to leave. While she goes to hit the bathroom really quickly, her son is standing by the hostess stand and I notice his Pokémon hat. He starts walking towards the door.)

Me: “Goodbye! Have a nice day!”

Boy: “Thank you. You, too!”

Me: “Oh, and by the way, nice Charizard hat!”

(The boy stops in the doorway and slowly turns, staring at me incredulously.)

Boy: “How did you know?!”

(I lean over the stand, and stare at him will all the intensity I can muster.)

Me: “Dude. I LOVE Pokémon. I’ve been playing it since I was in elementary school!”

(The boy gets all giddy. At this point, the mother leaves the bathroom and the two head outside. But just before they get out of earshot, I hear the little guy say this:)

Boy: “Mom, mom! She liked my hat! I told you I would find somebody!”

When Customer Service Mutates Into Something Else

, | NC, USA | Bizarre, Geeks Rule, Pets & Animals

Me: “My name is [Name]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “One moment, please.”

Me: “Let me know if you have any questions.”

Customer: “What came first the chicken or the egg?”

Me: “The egg. So the chick could hatch.”

Customer: “Where did the egg come from then?”

Me: *shrugs* “Mutant ostrich.”

They’re Behind The ‘Shall Not Pass’ Signs

| Jewel Cave, SD, USA | Geeks Rule, Geography, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

(We are on a group tour through caves, 200-300 feet underground. There are metal stairs and viewing platforms along the path. At each platform, a park ranger will describe what we are seeing, talk about the cave’s exploration history, and answer any questions. One question comes from a young teen girl on the tour. )

Girl: “Are there balrogs in these caves?”

Park Ranger: “Ball rocks?”

Girl: “BAL-rogs, from Lord Of The Rings?”

Park Ranger: “Uh, not that I know of…”

Giving You An Earful Over The Ears

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Crazy Requests, Geeks Rule, Theme Of The Month

(For those that don’t know, LARP is Live Action Roleplay. We sell a lot of realistic looking weapons that are safe to hit people with, but are actually foam. Some are historically based, others are pure fantasy. We are at a convention.  I’m helping another customer when a guy on the other end of the table starts getting agitated by something.)

Customer: “No, these aren’t right at all.”

Me: “Sorry, I’ll be with you in a minute.”

Customer: “They’re just not accurate.”

(Finishing with the other customer, I move over.)

Me: “Well, it’s LARP, not re-enactment, so some of our weapons won’t be historically accurate. In fact, many are outright fantasy weapons that would have been amazingly impractical for real use.”

Customer: “Not the weapons, idiot! These!”

(The customer holds up a pair of prosthetic elf ears.)

Customer: “Moon Elves’ ears DON’T look like THIS.”

Me: “Uh… I’m pretty sure with elves being fantasy they can look like whatever the designer wanted them to, so long as they’re kinda pointy at the end.”


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