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    Category: Geeks Rule

    Whether you call them geeks, nerds, or dorks, we’re proud to call the masters of all that is obtuse and purveyors of hopelessly inane facts and fiction our friends. From Trekkies and Sith Lords to Muggles and Team Jacob (okay, Edward too), this category is dedicated to stories about those who rise above cool — and will probably end up ruling the world!

    A Smashing Deal

    | CA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid, Geeks Rule, Theme Of The Month

    (A customer walks in and asks to trade her ‘Ultimate Captain America’ collectible for the limited Edition, $700 Hulk collectible.)

    Me: “Hello and welcome to Toy Trades. Is there anything you need help with?”

    Customer: “I brought a collectible Captain America. I want to trade it for the Hulk.”

    Me: “Okay, I’ll go grab the Hulk. ”

    (I go grab the Hulk and pass my co-worker, who says that she must have an expensive collectible.)

    Me: “Here it is.”

    Customer: “Oh, thanks! Here is my Captain America. Um, lemme take that…”

    Me: “Wait! By policy I need to look at your collectible.”

    Customer: “You don’t have to look at it… Consider it like a gift.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I need to look at your collectible first.”

    (She grabs the Hulk and tries to run but another customer grabs her.)

    Customer: “I JUST WANTED A D*** PRESENT FOR MY MOTHERF****** SON! TAKE THE CAPTAIN AMERICA, YOU IDIOT!”

    (She throws a toy Captain America that has a Fast Food Restaurant label on it. Being the empathetic person I am, I grab a Hulk eraser and hand it to her.)

    Me: “Have a nice day, ma’am!”

    Talking At-At Cross Purposes

    | Austin, TX, USA | Awesome Workers, Food & Drink, Geeks Rule, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at a chain Italian restaurant. I am often asked questions about the menu, but every now and then a customer asks a question that catches me off guard.)

    Customer #1: “No, it’s definitely an AT-AT!”

    Customer #2: “No, it’s an AT-LT!”

    Customer #1: “Ask our waiter. I bet you his tip.”

    (By this point, I have been overhearing this conversation, and the nerd inside me is intrigued by Star Wars trivia.)

    Me: “Can I help you guys with something?”

    Customer #1: “Yeah, my boyfriend here thinks that the robot in star wars that walks on two legs with the little dogs is called the AT-LT. Please tell him it’s an AT-AT?”

    Me: “Actually, I’m sorry but both of you are incorrect; the vehicle you’re thinking of is the AT-ST, which is premiered in the Battle for Hoth, the ice planet, but is actually featured in the Battle of Endor. In fact, that’s what Chewbacca uses to blow the blast doors open for Han Solo and Princess Leia. And the dogs are called Ewoks and they’re native to Endor.”

    Customer #1: “Oh… thanks.”

    (I ended up walking away and since they each bet $20, I actually earned $40. That’s the first time my nerd knowledge actually gained me that much money. May the Force be with you!)

    Taking Cosplay To A Whole New Scale(s)

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Bad Behavior, Geeks Rule, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m a bystander at a convention where three of my friends are dressed as characters from a very popular ninja anime. One of them is dressed as a character who works with snakes a lot of the time and half the time can be seen with one draped over his shoulders. My friend shows up with an ACTUAL boa constrictor, about four feet long, wrapped around his neck. It is very even-tempered, so it looks like a fake snake hanging there. We’re at the concession area of the convention center and it’s still early, so no one has noticed the snake around his neck.)

    Cashier: “Hi, welcome to [Restaurant]. Can I help you?”

    Me: “Yeah, we’d like [menu item].”

    Friend: *in character* “Do you perhaps have any mice for my friend, here?”

    Cashier: *seems to recognize the character and laughs* “Sorry, [Anime Character Name], I’m afraid I’m all out. Love that thing by the way; I thought it was real for a minute there.”

    (We almost got away with it, but my friend had a bit of a creepy streak and actually uncoiled the snake from around his neck, revealing it to be very much a real snake. The cashier screamed, staggered backward, and then bolted out from behind the counter, taking off down the aisle. The four of us made tracks out of the convention center before we were personally escorted out. I gave my friend a whack before we all started laughing hysterically.)

    Trying To Force It Through

    | QLD, Australia | At The Checkout, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV, Technology

    Customer: *waving shirt in front of scanner* “Sorry, I can’t scan this item! I’ve tried so many times.”

    Me: “Sorry about that.” *scans item in one go* “There you go!”

    Customer: “Oh… uh…”

    (I notice it’s a ‘Trust Me, I’m a Jedi’ Shirt.)

    Me: “It’s okay… I’m a Jedi.”

    Can’t Pass The First Level Of Customer Service

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Crazy Requests, Geeks Rule, Technology

    (I answer the phone.)

    Customer: “I just bought Grand theft Auto V on Playstation 3. Does anyone there play it?”

    Me: “I think a few of the guys have—”

    Customer: “I need to speak to them, NOW!”

    Me: “Unfortunately they’re all with customers at the moment. Could I possibly help?”

    Customer: “Yeah, how the f*** do you beat the first mission?!”

    Me: “Sir, I think that sort of question would be better suited to some sort of online gaming forum?”

    Customer: “F*** YOU! I’M CALLING CONSUMER AFFAIRS!”

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