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  • October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

    Category: Geeks Rule

    Whether you call them geeks, nerds, or dorks, we’re proud to call the masters of all that is obtuse and purveyors of hopelessly inane facts and fiction our friends. From Trekkies and Sith Lords to Muggles and Team Jacob (okay, Edward too), this category is dedicated to stories about those who rise above cool — and will probably end up ruling the world!

    Genetically Modified Turkey

    | MI, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names, Geeks Rule

    Customer: “Hi, yes, could I please have a pound of mystique turkey please?”

    Me: *not quite catching what they said* “I’m sorry, did you say mesquite turkey?”

    Customer: “Yes, mystique turkey!”

    Me: “Actually, it’s mesquite smoked turkey, Mystique is a character in X-Men.”

    Customer: “Yeah, yeah, just get me some mystique turkey, please.”

    Me: “Mystique turkey coming right up! And I’ll change it blue for you, too!”

    Fifty Shades Of Dark Knight

    | Markham, ON, Canada | Books & Reading, Geeks Rule, Rude & Risque

    (A woman comes into the store.)

    Customer: “I need the latest Harlequin book!”

    Me: “Of course. Do you know the title or author?”

    Customer: “No. But it’s the latest one!”

    (In the spirit of providing good customer service, I quickly retrieve the latest Harlequin releases to show the woman. Upon seeing the books, the customer gives me a very unexpected response:)

    Customer: “NO! NO! This is wrong! I want the one with Batman!”

    (Fortunately, the Batman reference tells me what the customer is ACTUALLY looking for.)

    Me: “Ah. You want the latest HARLEY QUINN comic book.”

    Customer: “That’s what I said! Harlequin!”

    (The wrong emphasis on the wrong syllable determines whether you get a comic book, or an erotic novel.)

    Your Friendly Neighborhood Customer Service

    | NJ, USA | Awesome Workers, Family & Kids, Geeks Rule

    (I work in the video games department of a large toy store. We are doing a promotion for one of the Spider-Man movies. They hire an actor who dresses up as Spider-Man and gives out autographs. I snuck an autograph from him in during my lunch break and the actor goes home in the afternoon. After ringing up the last customer, a young boy comes up to the register with his dad. He has a Spider-Man jacket and a t-shirt.)

    Dad: “Hey, we’re here to see Spider-Man. Do you know where he is?”

    Me: “Oh! I’m sorry but he left an hour ago.”

    (Immediately the boy looks sad and the dad smiles apologetically to his son.)

    Dad: “I’m so sorry, [Son] Maybe we’ll see him next time?”

    (By now, the son is about to cry. I see the autograph under my register and quickly come up with a story.)

    Me: “Oh, [Son], right? Spider-Man told me all about you! He had a lot of crime to fight today but he told me to give this to you. He’s very proud of you and he wished he could have met his biggest fan in person! I’m really glad I found you!”

    (I gave him the autograph and his eyes lit up. They thanked me repeatedly while I rung up their purchase and I watched the boy leave with an extra skip in his step. I never liked working in retail but this was one of my favorites. I was more than happy to brighten his day!)

    My Little-Minded Brony

    | UK | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV

    (It’s my day off so I go to the toy shop where I work with my eight-year-old niece. She’s a huge fan of ‘My Little Pony,’ so we’re off looking at toys. Two men are already there, talking about the show. My niece is pretty social, so she tries to strike up a conversation while I eye the display.)

    Niece: “Ooh, you like My Little Pony, too?! Who’s your favourite? I love Fluttershy; she’s so pretty and kind. That’s how I want to be when I grow up.”

    Man #1: “You’re a fan, huh? I guess you’ve got all the merchandise then?”

    Niece: “Merch… an… dise?”

    Man #2: “The toys and stuff. Don’t you have any?”

    Niece: “Oh… yeah! I got some for my birthday!”

    Man #1: “So you probably know the names of all the main characters, then?”

    Niece: *lists characters*

    Man #2: “What about the episode names?”

    Niece: “Um…”

    Man #1: “Don’t you know them?”

    (I’m starting to get quite annoyed.)

    Me: “What are you doing?”

    (They both give me defensive looks.)

    Man #1: “Nothing!”

    Man #2: “We just wanted to know if she’s a real fan or one of those fake geek girls.”

    Man #1: “She can’t even name the episodes.”

    Man #2: “Bet she hasn’t even watched them all.”

    (My niece is starting to get upset, so I lose all patience.)

    Me:” Are you serious? All it takes to be a fan is for someone to like and enjoy something. Where do you get off acting so smug because you know more about a show for little girls than its intended audience?”

    Man #1: “Are you saying men can’t like stuff for girls? That’s sexist!”

    Me: “Sexist?! I’m not the one spewing misogynistic nonsense at a child simply because they can’t pass some pointless memory test. You obviously haven’t learned much, since the TV show is all about friendship and treating people with respect! Now, shove off or grow up!”

    (They storm off. I turn round to see my manager watching me.)

    Me: “Am I fired?”

    Manager: “You’re not in uniform; they don’t know you work here. Besides, if someone talked to my kids like that, I’d knock them out.”

    (My niece cheered up after a while, and I bought her some new ‘merchandise’. I hope those men went home and watched the show again, and maybe took its message to heart this time.)

    In Good Companion Company

    | Robeline, LA, USA | Family & Kids, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV

    (I have two piercings in each ear and am wearing some very geeky earrings. Customers keep commenting on one pair, Nintendo controllers, but are confused as to what the other pair is. Until a young girl, who is maybe six, comes in with her mom.)

    Little Girl: *wide eyed* “Is that a Tardis!?”

    Me: *smiling* “Yes, it is! No one has figured it out all day.”

    Little Girl: *excitedly* “Does that mean you’re the Doctor?!” *to her mom* “Is the Doctor a girl now?!”

    Mom: *sternly* “No, the Doctor isn’t a girl.”

    Little Girl: *sadly* “Oh…”

    Mom: *brightly* “But that just means she’s his companion!”

    Little Girl: “OH!” *grins* “Yeah! The Doctor does like gingers, doesn’t he?”

    Me: *putting a finger to my lips* “Shh! Don’t tell anyone my secret!”

    Little Girl: “Okay!”

    (After her mom pays for their things, the little girl turns and waves before they leave.)

    Little Girl: “By Miss the Doctor’s Companion! Beware the Daleks!”

    (Best customers ever!)

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