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    Category: Geeks Rule

    Whether you call them geeks, nerds, or dorks, we’re proud to call the masters of all that is obtuse and purveyors of hopelessly inane facts and fiction our friends. From Trekkies and Sith Lords to Muggles and Team Jacob (okay, Edward too), this category is dedicated to stories about those who rise above cool — and will probably end up ruling the world!

    Their Service Is Undead

    , | San Antonio, TX, USA | Awesome Customers, Geeks Rule, Technology

    (The customer is calling us to let her know her services are out.)

    Me: “Aha. It looks like the network box for the house just lost contact with us. There isn’t anything in its logs showing us the power went out, so I think we should be all right.”

    Caller: “Oh, okay. What causes that, anyway?”

    Me: “It could be any number of things. Short-term loss of power, the box gets a quick enough surge of power to confuse it—”

    Caller: “Aliens?”

    Me: “I’m not ruling that out either. That reminds me. I need to pick up some foil on the way home. Thanks.”

    (The caller and everyone on her end of the call burst out laughing at that. We continue on, and we’re setting the ticket up.)

    Me: “Okay, I’ve got the green light to send the tech out tomorrow morning.”

    Caller: “Hang on a second. I’ll put my friend on. She’ll be here tomorrow to meet the tech.”

    (The caller puts her friend on the line. I get her contact info and add it to the ticket.)

    Me: “Are there any access restrictions like dogs on the property, a locked fence, anything like that?”

    Friend: “I think there might be zombies in the yard. Is that going to be a problem? I think she’s also got a vampire stalking her that might be in her yard.”

    Me: “Don’t worry. Our techs have everything they need on their truck to handle anything. About the vampires: they should have some stakes and garlic on the truck, unless it’s a Twilight-type vampire in which case they have whiskey and a Motorhead CD just in case.”

    (The caller and her friend start laughing even harder. I submit the appointment.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I want to thank you both for choosing [Provider]. We look forward to seeing you tomorrow. On a side note, this call just made my night. Thanks, you two.”

    Didn’t Do Math At Hogwarts

    | Charlotte, NC, USA | Books & Reading, Extra Stupid, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV

    (A customer is renting ‘Harry Potter: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2.’)

    Customer: “Have you watched this?”

    Me: “Yes, but I found the books to be much better.”

    Customer: “How can you like the work of some lazy author?”

    Me: “Huh?”

    Customer: “There are eight movies, but only seven books. The author got lazy and wrapped everything up in seven books instead of writing eight!”

    Failed The Geek Test

    | SC, USA | Books & Reading, Funny Names, Geeks Rule

    Customer: “Do you have The Hobbit?”

    Me: “Yeah, it’s back in SciFi/Fantasy. Alphabetical by author’s last name. Tolkien.”

    Customer: “Why is The Hobbit in SciFi/Fantasy?”

    Me: “Uhh…”

    Customer: “It’s a test.”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: *visibly annoyed* “Health Occupational Basics Entrance Test. Why is it in SciFi? That doesn’t make any sense.”

    Me: “Oh! Hold on.” *looks it up on the computer* “Yeah, we don’t have anything like that in the store. I can order something if you want.”

    Customer: “What?! I called earlier and the woman I talked to said you had it in the store.”

    Me: “Yeah… she probably thought you were talking about The Hobbit. Do you want me to order a title for you?”

    Customer: “NO!” *walks out with a huff*

    Wish You Could Just Hide In A Wardrobe

    | Philadelphia, PA, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Geeks Rule

    (I’m a hostess at a restaurant. I am getting a customer’s information for a reservation later that night.)

    Me: “Can I get your last name?”

    Customer: “Aslan.”

    Me: “Oh! Like the lion from Narnia!”

    Customer: “Yes!” *laughs hysterically”

    (Later that night the customer comes for her reservation. I have already left for the day and there is a new hostess on for night shift.)

    Customer: *approaches host stand and ROARS at the hostess*

    Hostess: “Uhm… excuse me?”

    Customer: “Like the lion!?”

    Hostess: “… Right.”

    A Culling Of A Cullen

    | WI, USA | Books & Reading, Geeks Rule, Love/Romance

    (I work as a waitress at a sit down restaurant near the mall. We’re slowing down for the night and the place is pretty empty. I’m in the middle of cleaning off my table when I overhear this conversation happening between some teens in the corner booth.)

    Teen Girl: *to Teen Boy #2* “It’s not the size that matters, but what you do with it.”

    Teen Boy #1: “Yeah, it’s all about the motion of the ocean!”

    Ditzy Teen Girl: “It’s all in the sparkle.”

    Teen Boy #2: “Wha— I’m not Edward f****** Cullen!”

    (I barely made it back to the kitchen before laughing.)


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