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    Category: Geeks Rule

    Whether you call them geeks, nerds, or dorks, we’re proud to call the masters of all that is obtuse and purveyors of hopelessly inane facts and fiction our friends. From Trekkies and Sith Lords to Muggles and Team Jacob (okay, Edward too), this category is dedicated to stories about those who rise above cool — and will probably end up ruling the world!

    Didn’t Do Math At Hogwarts

    | Charlotte, NC, USA | Books & Reading, Extra Stupid, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV

    (A customer is renting ‘Harry Potter: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2.’)

    Customer: “Have you watched this?”

    Me: “Yes, but I found the books to be much better.”

    Customer: “How can you like the work of some lazy author?”

    Me: “Huh?”

    Customer: “There are eight movies, but only seven books. The author got lazy and wrapped everything up in seven books instead of writing eight!”

    Failed The Geek Test

    | SC, USA | Books & Reading, Funny Names, Geeks Rule

    Customer: “Do you have The Hobbit?”

    Me: “Yeah, it’s back in SciFi/Fantasy. Alphabetical by author’s last name. Tolkien.”

    Customer: “Why is The Hobbit in SciFi/Fantasy?”

    Me: “Uhh…”

    Customer: “It’s a test.”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: *visibly annoyed* “Health Occupational Basics Entrance Test. Why is it in SciFi? That doesn’t make any sense.”

    Me: “Oh! Hold on.” *looks it up on the computer* “Yeah, we don’t have anything like that in the store. I can order something if you want.”

    Customer: “What?! I called earlier and the woman I talked to said you had it in the store.”

    Me: “Yeah… she probably thought you were talking about The Hobbit. Do you want me to order a title for you?”

    Customer: “NO!” *walks out with a huff*

    Wish You Could Just Hide In A Wardrobe

    | Philadelphia, PA, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Geeks Rule

    (I’m a hostess at a restaurant. I am getting a customer’s information for a reservation later that night.)

    Me: “Can I get your last name?”

    Customer: “Aslan.”

    Me: “Oh! Like the lion from Narnia!”

    Customer: “Yes!” *laughs hysterically”

    (Later that night the customer comes for her reservation. I have already left for the day and there is a new hostess on for night shift.)

    Customer: *approaches host stand and ROARS at the hostess*

    Hostess: “Uhm… excuse me?”

    Customer: “Like the lion!?”

    Hostess: “… Right.”

    A Culling Of A Cullen

    | WI, USA | Books & Reading, Geeks Rule, Love/Romance

    (I work as a waitress at a sit down restaurant near the mall. We’re slowing down for the night and the place is pretty empty. I’m in the middle of cleaning off my table when I overhear this conversation happening between some teens in the corner booth.)

    Teen Girl: *to Teen Boy #2* “It’s not the size that matters, but what you do with it.”

    Teen Boy #1: “Yeah, it’s all about the motion of the ocean!”

    Ditzy Teen Girl: “It’s all in the sparkle.”

    Teen Boy #2: “Wha— I’m not Edward f****** Cullen!”

    (I barely made it back to the kitchen before laughing.)

    He’s Driving an ’05 Pontiac Paradox

    | Salisbury, MD, USA | Geeks Rule, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (I receive a call from a customer who speaks in a completely serious, business-like tone.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [National Auto Parts Store]. This is [My Name] speaking. What are you working on today?”

    Customer: “I have a 2005 Pontiac Grand Prix, and I need a Flux Capacitor.”

    Me: “I’m sorry. Did you say you need a Flux Capacitor?”

    Customer: “Yes. Do you have one?”

    Me: “No, the only one who has one of those would be ‘Doc Brown.’”

    Customer: “Where are they located?”

    Me: “Well, I’m not sure where he is at this point in time…”


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