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    Category: Geeks Rule

    Whether you call them geeks, nerds, or dorks, we’re proud to call the masters of all that is obtuse and purveyors of hopelessly inane facts and fiction our friends. From Trekkies and Sith Lords to Muggles and Team Jacob (okay, Edward too), this category is dedicated to stories about those who rise above cool — and will probably end up ruling the world!

    Some Callers Are Proper Dementor

    | Racine, WI, USA | Geeks Rule, Movies & TV, Top

    (I have a caller named Victor Krumm in the computer system. I’m a Harry Potter fan.)

    Me: “Okay, sir, so you’re Victor Krumm?”

    Caller: “Yep, that’s me.”

    Me: “Sorry, this might sound funny, but did you know that there’s a book series called Harry Potter with a character with that name?”

    (There’s a pause, as if he’s thinking, and suddenly he yells.)

    Caller: “THE MUGGLES KNOW!”

    (He hangs up. His wife calls a little while later to actually schedule.)

    Make The Seat-Save Run In Less Than 12 Parsecs

    | Houston, TX, USA | Geeks Rule, Movies & TV

    (This is at a midnight showing when a new Star Wars movie was released.)

    Me: "When the doors open please go in and take your seats. You will not be allowed to save seats for people further back in line."

    (Customer waves his hand in the air like a Jedi.)

    Customer: "You will let us save seats."

    Fast Food For Fast Thinkers

    , | Maryland, USA | Food & Drink, Geeks Rule, Top

    (I am working as a cashier and two customers come in talking loudly about how dumb minimum wage fast-food workers are. One of them decides to prove it…)

    Customer: “Let me ask you a question. What’s 7 times 7?”

    Me: “49.”

    Customer: “What’s 8 times 8?”

    Me: “64.”

    Customer: “E equals MC squared?”

    Me: “What about it?”

    Customer: “What does it mean?”

    Me: “Energy equals mass times the speed of light squared.”

    Customer: “Uhm…”

    Me: “Would you like fries with that?”

    Be Scared Of Customers You Will

    | Fort Worth, TX, USA | Geeks Rule, Movies & TV, Top

    (At the theater where I work, the new Star Wars movie has just premiered a few days prior.)

    Me: “Good evening, sir. Can I see your ticket please?”

    Customer: “The force is strong with this one.”

    Me: “Okay, I take it you’re seeing our new Star Wars movie? It’s a really good movie, sir.”

    Customer: “I challenge you to a light-saber battle!”

    (Suddenly, the customer whips out two light-sabers from under his cloak.)

    Me: “Sir, I’m actually working right now, but your movie will start in fifteen minutes. If you’d like, you can head into the theater.”

    Customer: “Challenge you I have. Defeat you I will!”

    Me: “No, not today sir. Work I must.” *light laughter*

    Customer: “But…but I have challenged you! I sense the force within you is strong!”

    Me: “Really?”

    Customer: *nods*

    Me: *looks around* “Alright, just give me one.”

    (He then proceeds to give me the green lightsaber and stands back in a fighting pose. I very weakly go to cross swords with him when my manager comes up behind me.)

    Manager: “So we play games while we’re on the clock now, do we?”

    (I turn to address my manager when literally, in the swiftest motion I’ve ever seen, the patron stabs me in the stomach with the lightsaber, takes the one from my hand and runs out the back side door to the movie theater.)

    Manager: “Well?”

    (Literally defeated, I head back to work.)

    Klingon To The Hope Of A Ticket

    | London, UK | Geeks Rule, Top

    Customer: “Two tickets for Star Trek, please.”

    Me: “That showing has sold out, sir.”

    Customer: “What! That’s impossible!”

    Me: “The IMAX is very popular sir. I am afraid we don’t have any more seats until tomorrow.”

    Customer: “I need to see this movie! You’re not a Star Trek fan. You wouldn’t understand! Please sell me a ticket!”

    Me: “I would love to sir, but the needs of the one or the few do not outweigh the needs of the many.”

    Customer: *recognizing my quote from Star Trek* “I see. I suppose I couldn’t say that sometimes the needs of the one or the few do outweigh the needs of the many?”

    Me: “No sir, that would be quite illogical.”

    Customer: “Hmm, you’re good.”

    Me: “I must have the lobes for business.”

    Customer: “Two tickets for tomorrow then, please.”

    Me: “Very good, sir.”

    Customer: “Live long and prosper!”

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