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    Category: Geeks Rule

    Whether you call them geeks, nerds, or dorks, we’re proud to call the masters of all that is obtuse and purveyors of hopelessly inane facts and fiction our friends. From Trekkies and Sith Lords to Muggles and Team Jacob (okay, Edward too), this category is dedicated to stories about those who rise above cool — and will probably end up ruling the world!

    Be Scared Of Customers You Will

    | Fort Worth, TX, USA | Geeks Rule, Movies & TV, Top

    (At the theater where I work, the new Star Wars movie has just premiered a few days prior.)

    Me: “Good evening, sir. Can I see your ticket please?”

    Customer: “The force is strong with this one.”

    Me: “Okay, I take it you’re seeing our new Star Wars movie? It’s a really good movie, sir.”

    Customer: “I challenge you to a light-saber battle!”

    (Suddenly, the customer whips out two light-sabers from under his cloak.)

    Me: “Sir, I’m actually working right now, but your movie will start in fifteen minutes. If you’d like, you can head into the theater.”

    Customer: “Challenge you I have. Defeat you I will!”

    Me: “No, not today sir. Work I must.” *light laughter*

    Customer: “But…but I have challenged you! I sense the force within you is strong!”

    Me: “Really?”

    Customer: *nods*

    Me: *looks around* “Alright, just give me one.”

    (He then proceeds to give me the green lightsaber and stands back in a fighting pose. I very weakly go to cross swords with him when my manager comes up behind me.)

    Manager: “So we play games while we’re on the clock now, do we?”

    (I turn to address my manager when literally, in the swiftest motion I’ve ever seen, the patron stabs me in the stomach with the lightsaber, takes the one from my hand and runs out the back side door to the movie theater.)

    Manager: “Well?”

    (Literally defeated, I head back to work.)

    Klingon To The Hope Of A Ticket

    | London, UK | Geeks Rule, Top

    Customer: “Two tickets for Star Trek, please.”

    Me: “That showing has sold out, sir.”

    Customer: “What! That’s impossible!”

    Me: “The IMAX is very popular sir. I am afraid we don’t have any more seats until tomorrow.”

    Customer: “I need to see this movie! You’re not a Star Trek fan. You wouldn’t understand! Please sell me a ticket!”

    Me: “I would love to sir, but the needs of the one or the few do not outweigh the needs of the many.”

    Customer: *recognizing my quote from Star Trek* “I see. I suppose I couldn’t say that sometimes the needs of the one or the few do outweigh the needs of the many?”

    Me: “No sir, that would be quite illogical.”

    Customer: “Hmm, you’re good.”

    Me: “I must have the lobes for business.”

    Customer: “Two tickets for tomorrow then, please.”

    Me: “Very good, sir.”

    Customer: “Live long and prosper!”

    Hailing Frequencies Open But Nobody’s Home

    | Salt Lake City, UT, USA | Geeks Rule, Top

    (My brother runs a company that sells sci-fi and fantasy memorabilia. A customer came up to the table and started inspecting a replica Star Trek communicator.)

    Customer: “So does this actually work?”

    Me: “Oh, yes. When you flip it open, it lights up and plays
    authentic sound effects.”

    Customer: “No, no, I mean, does it actually communicate with the Enterprise?”

    Me: *joking* “Well, the ship would be out of range if it wasn’t in orbit.”

    Customer: *serious* “Oh, right!”

    I Find Your Lack Of T-shirts Disturbing

    | San Diego, CA, USA | Geeks Rule, Top

    (Note: I’m selling t-shirts at Comic Con in San Diego. Two men are dressed as Star Wars characters come to my booth.)

    Jedi #1: “Man, these shirts are all great. I don’t know how I’ll pick.”

    Coworker: “Well, they are two for $35, so you can get any two you like.”

    Jedi #2: “Is there any deal for three?”

    Coworker: “Nope, just by twos.”

    (Suddenly, the second Jedi activates his light-up light saber and speaks in an angry, menacing tone.)

    Jedi #2: “How about now?!”

    But Is It Fully Armed And Operational?

    , | Birmingham, UK | Geeks Rule

    Customer: “Hi there, I was wondering if you could help me?”

    Me: “Of course. What are you after?”

    Customer: “Well, my son is a huge Star Wars fan and he really wants one of those Lightsabers.”

    Me: “Not a problem, we have plenty of them. Was there any particular one you were after.”

    Customer: “Do you have one of the ones that come out of the handle?”

    Me: “We have several pop-out ones, they also make a sound.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay.”

    (They walk off and pick some of the different designs up and walk back to me.)

    Customer: “Hi again.”

    Me: “Did you find one?”

    Customer: “Not the one that he wants.”

    Me: “Well we also have some better ones in the window, would you like to see?”

    Customer: “Yes, please”

    (I get a prop Lightsaber out of the window and show it to them.)

    Customer: “Hmm, it doesn’t seem to be the right one.”

    Me: “Unfortunately, that’s all we really do.”

    Customer: “So you don’t do the one that cuts things?”

    Me: “Erm, the ones that cut things?”

    Customer: “You know, the ones from the movies.”

    Me, giving up: “Erm… you could try the Entertainer, they should do them.”

    Customer: “Brilliant, thanks very much.”

    (If this wasn’t bad enough, it’s happened about 3 times in the past year.)


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