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    Category: Geeks Rule

    Whether you call them geeks, nerds, or dorks, we’re proud to call the masters of all that is obtuse and purveyors of hopelessly inane facts and fiction our friends. From Trekkies and Sith Lords to Muggles and Team Jacob (okay, Edward too), this category is dedicated to stories about those who rise above cool — and will probably end up ruling the world!

    Real Superheroes Are In The Running

    | Kissimiee, FL, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Geeks Rule

    (I am part of a charity group that dresses up like superheroes. We are attending a 5k run to benefit a children’s charity, cheering on over 1000 runners. The guys dressed as Superman and the Flash agreed to run the first fifth of the race.)

    Batgirl cosplayer: “There’s Superman!”

    Superman cosplayer: “Hey guys. Lost Flash back there… so, we’re near the finish line?”

    Me: “There’s the finish line.”

    Superman cosplayer: “Nice!”

    Route supervisor: “First runner coming!”

    (We all start cheering and clapping, like we are supposed to.)

    Superman cosplayer: “Oh, thank god it’s him!”

    Me: “Huh?”

    Superman cosplayer: “When Flash and I were lining up, a bunch of the ‘professional’ runners shoved us out of the way so we wouldn’t slow down their start. One of the runners told them to back off.”

    (We all cheer loudly as we see the heroic runner cross the finish line for a first place finish.)

    Superman cosplayer: “And here come some more ‘pros’. Wait, what the…”

    (Running with the ‘professionals’ is a boy who looks about eight. As the event is about kids, we cheer him instead. He beats half of them!)

    Me: “You go kiddo! You beat the Flash!”

    (Both the first place finisher and the little boy came back to thank us for cheering them on. It was awesome!)

    These Customers Are Mostly Harmless

    | Western Australia, Australia | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Geeks Rule

    Me: “Good evening, welcome to [pizza store]. How can I help you this evening?”

    Customer: “Just a Meat Lover’s on the regular base, thanks.”

    Me: “Not a problem. It should be ready in ten to fifteen minutes. Can I just have a name for the order?”

    Customer: *politely* “No.”

    Me: “…Sorry?”

    Customer: “It doesn’t matter, does it?”

    (The customer’s friend looks a bit annoyed at the customer, like he’s done this before, but doesn’t offer a name either.)

    Me: “Well, it’s busy tonight and I may not be the one giving out the pizza, so if there isn’t a name they may not know whose pizza it is.”

    Customer: “I just don’t want my name on the computer.”

    Me: “Well, I could put a fake name down instead?”

    Customer: *rolls his eyes, and then replies* “Fine, just put down Slartibartfast.

    Me: “…Slartibartfast?”

    Customer: “I told you it didn’t matter!”

    (He then walks off before I can reply to his name; I’m a huge fan of Douglas Adams myself. When his pizza comes out, I call out his name.)

    Me: “Slartibartfast and the hoopy frood Zaphod Beeblebrox?”

    (Both men laugh as they collect the pizza. The next time they came back, it was a pizza for Arthur Dent and Ford Prefect!)

    Conan The Contrarian

    | Huntsville, AL, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Geeks Rule

    Customer: “Today is my anniversary! Love is the best thing in life.”

    Me: “Actually…” *in Conan voice* “To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women…” *back in regular voice* “…is the best thing in life.”

    Customer: “Ha! You made my day!”

    (She paid for a $6 meal with a $20 bill and told me to keep the change!)

    Zord Almighty

    | IL, USA | Bizarre, Geeks Rule, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m a big Sentai fan (aka Power Rangers in English). I overhear this conversation at an anime convention I’m attending. NOTE: I am female while the attendees that are talking are male; also I am not from the same state that it’s being held at. We’re at a vendor booth who’s selling old toys—Power Rangers being one of them.)

    Attendee #1: “Man, Power Rangers is classic!”

    Attendee #2: “Have you watched any of the Japanese versions?”

    Attendee #1: “F*** no! The Japanese ones are stupid as f***! America started the whole trend in the first place!”

    Attendee #2: “Um… no they didn’t. ”

    Attendee #1: “Whatever, f***ing otaku.”

    Me: “He’s right.”

    Attendee #1: “Like you would know!”

    Me: “I would. Mighty Morphin’ is technically Zyuranger in Japan. The 16th series in the Super Sentai line.”

    Attendee #1: “Oh yeah? Then where are the other 15 then, Miss Thang?!”

    Me: “Never translated. But you can find most of them online.”

    Attendee #1: “Bulls***! You’re a girl and know nothing about Power Rangers!”

    Attendee #2: “More than you.” *to me* “Have you seen it in Japanese?”

    Me: “Not all of it… but I can see why it almost killed the franchise in Japan though.”

    Attendee #1: “HA! See! Japan sucks! They failed at translating it, so it sucked!”

    Me: “You do realize you’re at an ANIME CONVENTION? You know, Japanese animation and other media.”

    Attendee #1: “Some weebos came up with the term anime! It’s just awesome American cartoons that the f***ing Japanese stole from us!”

    Attendee #2: “Okay, dude… you’re crazy.”

    Me: “Yeah, you’re a moron.”

    (Attendee #2 and I walk away and end up talking a lot about the Sentai series and wound up being pen pals. As we are heading to our rooms, we’re surprised to see Attendee #1 getting escorted out of the convention by staff and security yelling obscene things. I walk up to a staff member of the con.)

    Me: “Um… can I ask what that was about?”

    Staff: “He cursed and threw something at one of our guests.”

    Attendee #2: “Who?”

    Staff: “Robert Axelrod.”

    Me: “The voice of Lord Zedd?!”

    Staff: “Yeah, he mentioned how Zedd was an original character for the American version, and it set him off!”

    Out Bat-ter Angels

    | NY, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Geeks Rule, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I work at a hospital. Every week, we host an event where volunteers come in and entertain some of the sick children. On this particular day, most of the volunteers are dressed up as superheroes.)

    Superman: “Who wants me to see if I can pull a penny out of their nose?”

    Child #1: *in a wheelchair* “Me! Me!”

    Superman: *doing his magic trick* “I’m afraid I can’t. All I could find were all these quarters!”

    (Superman magically pulls out a quarter and gives it to Child #1. A few minutes later, Child #1 returns.)

    Child #1: “Superman! Superman! I bought candy with the money you found! This one’s for you.”

    (At this point, one of two volunteers dressed as Spiderman speaks up.)

    Spiderman #1: “Where’d he get that candy?”

    Child #2: “There’s a vending machine in the hallway.”

    Spiderman #1: “They let you buy candy? That’s not healthy.”

    Spiderman #2: “I’m sure the nurses here are aware of what the kids eat.”

    Child #2: “It’s true. They’re really strict.”

    Spiderman #1: “It’s just not healthy…”

    (Meanwhile, Superman is continuing his trick.)

    Superman: “…and another one in the left ear, and another one in the right ear. Wait! I haven’t checked your nose for quarters yet.”

    Child #3: *after Superman’s finished* “What kind of candy do you want, Superman?”

    Superman: “Don’t worry about me, kid. I’m Superman! Superman can make candy with his mind.”

    Child #3: “Nuh uh! I saw the movie!”

    Superman: “Oh yeah? Watch this!”

    (He closes his eyes and concentrations hard, then pretends to catch something out of the air.)

    Superman: “Ah-ha! Chocolate!”

    Spiderman #1: “Don’t give her that. They get too much sugar.”

    Nurse: “It’s fine, sir.”

    Spiderman #1: “No!”

    (All of a sudden, Spiderman #1 grabs the chocolate from Superman, throws it on the floor, and stomps on it. He’s clearly out of control and scaring the children.)

    Spiderman #1: “Food like that will just keep you sick! They just want you to stay here and keep buying their s****y candy to keep you sick so they can get your money! They just—”

    (At that moment, a man dressed as Batman appears with his cape wrapped around him. Surprised, Spiderman #1 begins stuttering.)

    Spiderman #1: “Uh… what do you want?”

    Batman: *in a deep voice* “I want this hospital to be a place of hope. I want these children to enjoy their lives. I want the forces of darkness forever beaten.”

    (He drops the cloak, revealing the police uniform underneath it.)

    Batman: *cuffs Spiderman #1* “I want justice!”

    (The children all cheer, relieved. A month later, one of the children who has been in the hospital for a very long time is getting ready to leave. When someone asks him what his favorite memory of the volunteer nights was, he says…)

    Child: “When crazy Spiderman went crazy and Batman took off his costume and he was an actually real hero and made crazy Spiderman go away!”

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