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    Category: Geeks Rule

    Whether you call them geeks, nerds, or dorks, we’re proud to call the masters of all that is obtuse and purveyors of hopelessly inane facts and fiction our friends. From Trekkies and Sith Lords to Muggles and Team Jacob (okay, Edward too), this category is dedicated to stories about those who rise above cool — and will probably end up ruling the world!

    Fortunately For Us Both, I Like Crazy

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Geeks Rule, Rude & Risque, Top

    (I work in the “exotic phone call” industry. Most customers know they’re paying a lot of money for the call, so they don’t play games. But, every once in awhile, I get calls that even I find strange.)

    Caller: “Oooh, hey, what’s your name?”

    Me: “You can just call me ‘Candy.’”

    Caller: “Oh, no, I’m diabetic. Can I call you something else?”

    Me: “Well, my special callers call me ‘Silk,’ because I’m so smooth.”

    Caller: “Hmm, no. I don’t like silk… or satin.”

    Me: “Well, how ’bout this? What do you wanna call me?”

    Caller: “Err… Cortana? Like, from Halo?”

    Me: “Really? I LOVE Halo!”

    (In the end, this caller and I talked about the Halo franchise for roughly three hours without discussing anything even remotely dirty. It was the most enjoyable call I’d taken all month. To show my appreciation for the conversation, I took 50% off of his bill.)

    The Cosplayer Is Always Right

    | Madrid, Spain | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Geeks Rule, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (Our Japanese restaurant is near a school that annually hosts an anime convention. So, it’s fairly common to have cosplayers among our customers at the time of the con. The owner is okay with it as long as they don’t annoy the other customers. On this day, we seat twelve cosplayers and, later, I seat three young customers near them.)

    Young Customer #1: “What is this? Why are those guys costumed?”

    Me: “Oh, there’s a large anime convention ongoing at the local school. It’s rather common to see them at the times of the gathering.”

    Young Customer #1: *chuckles* “Yeah, what a bunch of dorks.”

    Young Customer #2: “Total nerds.”

    (Since there are no other free tables and they didn’t pre-order a table, they sit near the cosplayers while mocking them under their breath. In the meantime, a cosplayer of Pikachu is talking somewhat loudly on his phone.)

    Young Customer #2: *waves at me* “Hey, you! Tell those dorks to shut up!”

    Halo Cosplayer: “Oh, I’m sorry, sir.” *to ‘Pikachu’* “Dude, not so loud. You’re bothering people.”

    Pikachu Cosplayer: “What? Oh, sorry to bother you guys.” *starts talking again, but much quieter*

    Young Customer #3: “Yeah, that’s right. Shut up, you virgin nerd!”

    Young Customer #1: “Go back to the library, virgins!”

    (At this point, I warn the owner about the behavior of the younger customers. He immediately goes to their table.)

    Owner: “What seems to be the problem?”

    Young Customer #1: “It’s not our fault. Those nerds started to insult us! We’re not going to stay here and do nothing!”

    Owner: “My staff told me the contrary, actually.”

    Young Customer #3: “What?! That b***h waitress is lying!”

    Owner: “Sir, I won’t allow you to insult my staff or customers. Those cosplayers were extremely polite and quiet during their meals, unlike you. If someone must be thrown out, it’s you.”

    (In the blink of an eye, one of the young customers gets up and tries to grab the owner. However, to our surprise, one of the cosplayers playing Batman grabs him by the hair, slams him on the table and holds him still.)

    Young Customer #1: “OW! That f***ing hurts! Who the f*** do you think you are, you motherf***er?!”

    Batman Cosplayer: *in a raspy tone* “I am vengeance. I am the night. I am… Batman.”

    (The two other customers begin to yell, but quickly shut up when all the cosplayers get up and surround them, showing that most of them are clearly larger than them. The mall security arrests the bad customers, and the cosplayers leave after apologizing for the trouble. However, it’s not before we snap a picture with them. Now, we frequently joke about that time when Batman, Pikachu and Master Chief saved the restaurant!)

    Related:
    The Costumer Is Always Right

    Perceiving Percival

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Geeks Rule, Top

    Me: “Was there any particular style of glasses you where looking for today?”

    Customer: “I’m looking for some horn rimmed, half-moon spectacles.”

    (As an avid Harry Potter fan, I recognize this as the word-for-word description of a certain character’s glasses.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, Professor Dumbledore, but I believe we sold our last pair this morning.”

    Customer: *surprised* “Oh, wow! I really wasn’t expecting anyone to catch that!”

    The Dark Chocolate Knight

    | Virginia, USA | Family & Kids, Geeks Rule, Top

    (I work in a coffee shop. I am on break in the lobby when a couple walks in. Directly behind them is a cute little boy in Batman costume.)

    Me: “Oh my God! It’s BATMAN!”

    (The boy stops, strikes a pose and starts looking around menacingly. After a few seconds, he approaches the counter.)

    Mother: “Jeff, would you like a chocolate milk?”

    Boy: “I am not Jeff. I am The Batman.”

    Mother: “The Batman, would you like a chocolate milk?”

    Boy: “Yes. Yes, The Batman would.”

    (The couple pays while the boy sits down with his chocolate milk. He keeps a stern look on his face as he sips the drink.)

    Boy: *sips* “Gotham is safe.”

    I Have A Good Feeling About This

    | Florida, USA | Awesome Customers, Geeks Rule, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (Our shop sells a lot of space-themed items, including a good deal of Star Wars merchandise. I am approached by two guys in their early 20s.)

    Guy #1: “Excuse me, miss, but we’re about to get kicked out of your store.”

    Me: “For what?”

    Guy #2: “Lightsaber fighting!”

    (They turn to a Star Wars display, each take a lightsaber off the rack, and spend a second figuring out how to turn them on. Right away, I duck behind the registers and return with two open lightsabers we have behind the counter from returns.)

    Me: “Here, try some without the packaging.”

    Guy #1: “SWEET!”

    (They activate the lightsabers and proceed to have a high-energy duel in the middle of the shop, to the amusement of my coworkers and the other customers. When one wins, they deactivate and hand the lightsabers back to me.)

    Guy #2: “Best. Store. Ever.”

    (They left without buying anything, but with huge smiles on their faces!)


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