Whether you call them geeks, nerds, or dorks, we’re proud to call the masters of all that is obtuse and purveyors of hopelessly inane facts and fiction our friends. From Trekkies and Sith Lords to Muggles and Team Jacob (okay, Edward too), this category is dedicated to stories about those who rise above cool — and will probably end up ruling the world!
Me: “Hi, my name is [name]; thank you for calling [company]. How can I help you?”
Customer: “Hi, I’m calling because my internet is, uh, working… again. Huh.”
Me: “Well, I am prescient. I do usually try fix the problems before people call, but I am running behind today.”
Customer: “Dude, that’s awesome. Keep it up.”
(Later, we get an email about how “the tech who can see the future” should get a raise.)
(Part of my job involves managing the helpdesk for an online research panel. Because the panel is made of just two daily surveys, panelists receive a survey reminder every morning. I take a call from a panelist.)
Panelist: “You’re sending me too many emails! I’m getting two every morning!”
Me: “Alright, it sounds like you may have registered with us twice. Could I take your email address?”
(I look the panelist up by his email, and find that he has indeed registered again. This isn’t normally possible, because the system checks against name, email and address. I do notice one thing, though…)
Me: “Alright, looking at our system, I can see two accounts to your name. The reason you were able to register again is because your address doesn’t quite match between both accounts.”
Panelist: “Well how’s that possible? I haven’t moved anywhere!”
Me: “Well, on one account you put your address down as THE TARDIS.”
(A customer and her five-year-old son enter the store.)
Me: “Hi, is there anything you’re looking for today?”
Little Boy: “I know what that means!”
Me: “…what, what means?”
Little Boy: “That!”
(The boy points at the pins on my lanyard.)
Little Boy: “That’s Dr Claw’s sign! You like Inspector Gadget!”
Me: “You are the first person to know that.”
Little Boy: “Claw is a silly name. If Dr Claw ever bothers you, I’ll punch him.”
Me: “Thanks, kid. That’s sweet.”
(I work third shift as a cashier in a major retail chain. To keep everything running smoothly, all third shift cashiers are trained for running the service desk and answering the phone. It is spring break and there has been an increase of prank phone calls.)
Me: “Thank you for calling [large retail store]; how may I assist you?”
Caller: *giggling and unintelligible gibberish*
Me: “Sorry, what was that?”
Caller: “Is this the Krusty Krab?”
Me: *deadpan voice* “No, this is Patrick.”
Caller: *fits of laughter* “Thank you! You made my night!”
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