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    Category: Geeks Rule

    Whether you call them geeks, nerds, or dorks, we’re proud to call the masters of all that is obtuse and purveyors of hopelessly inane facts and fiction our friends. From Trekkies and Sith Lords to Muggles and Team Jacob (okay, Edward too), this category is dedicated to stories about those who rise above cool — and will probably end up ruling the world!

    Gotta Catch All The Compliments

    | NJ, USA | Family & Kids, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV

    (A mother and her twelve-year-old son are preparing to leave. While she goes to hit the bathroom really quickly, her son is standing by the hostess stand and I notice his Pokémon hat. He starts walking towards the door.)

    Me: “Goodbye! Have a nice day!”

    Boy: “Thank you. You, too!”

    Me: “Oh, and by the way, nice Charizard hat!”

    (The boy stops in the doorway and slowly turns, staring at me incredulously.)

    Boy: “How did you know?!”

    (I lean over the stand, and stare at him will all the intensity I can muster.)

    Me: “Dude. I LOVE Pokémon. I’ve been playing it since I was in elementary school!”

    (The boy gets all giddy. At this point, the mother leaves the bathroom and the two head outside. But just before they get out of earshot, I hear the little guy say this:)

    Boy: “Mom, mom! She liked my hat! I told you I would find somebody!”

    When Customer Service Mutates Into Something Else

    , | NC, USA | Bizarre, Geeks Rule, Pets & Animals

    Me: “My name is [Name]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “One moment, please.”

    Me: “Let me know if you have any questions.”

    Customer: “What came first the chicken or the egg?”

    Me: “The egg. So the chick could hatch.”

    Customer: “Where did the egg come from then?”

    Me: *shrugs* “Mutant ostrich.”

    They’re Behind The ‘Shall Not Pass’ Signs

    | Jewel Cave, SD, USA | Geeks Rule, Geography, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (We are on a group tour through caves, 200-300 feet underground. There are metal stairs and viewing platforms along the path. At each platform, a park ranger will describe what we are seeing, talk about the cave’s exploration history, and answer any questions. One question comes from a young teen girl on the tour. )

    Girl: “Are there balrogs in these caves?”

    Park Ranger: “Ball rocks?”

    Girl: “BAL-rogs, from Lord Of The Rings?”

    Park Ranger: “Uh, not that I know of…”

    Giving You An Earful Over The Ears

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Crazy Requests, Geeks Rule, Theme Of The Month

    (For those that don’t know, LARP is Live Action Roleplay. We sell a lot of realistic looking weapons that are safe to hit people with, but are actually foam. Some are historically based, others are pure fantasy. We are at a convention.  I’m helping another customer when a guy on the other end of the table starts getting agitated by something.)

    Customer: “No, these aren’t right at all.”

    Me: “Sorry, I’ll be with you in a minute.”

    Customer: “They’re just not accurate.”

    (Finishing with the other customer, I move over.)

    Me: “Well, it’s LARP, not re-enactment, so some of our weapons won’t be historically accurate. In fact, many are outright fantasy weapons that would have been amazingly impractical for real use.”

    Customer: “Not the weapons, idiot! These!”

    (The customer holds up a pair of prosthetic elf ears.)

    Customer: “Moon Elves’ ears DON’T look like THIS.”

    Me: “Uh… I’m pretty sure with elves being fantasy they can look like whatever the designer wanted them to, so long as they’re kinda pointy at the end.”

    Customer: “BUT THEY’RE NOT ACCURATE!”

    I’ll Take A Groot Beer

    | Cambridge, UK | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Geeks Rule, Theme Of The Month

    (Sometimes we get customers in costumes who are in good humour if we name them instead of asking their name. We have a group come in who give themselves some DC-ent and MARVEL-ous names. I’m on the bar, making the drinks.)

    Me: *with the Batman cup* “Good luck with the night shifts, Dark Knight.”

    Batman: “Cheers!”

    Me: *Superman* “Who’s the Man of Steel?”

    Superman: “That would be me!”

    Me: “Sorry, dude. I don’t have chocolate; is Kryptonite okay?”

    Superman: “Go for it. It’s my day off.”

    Me: *Rocket cup, looking at the last in the group* “Are you Rocket?”

    Rocket: “I am Groot.”

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