October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: Geeks Rule

Whether you call them geeks, nerds, or dorks, we’re proud to call the masters of all that is obtuse and purveyors of hopelessly inane facts and fiction our friends. From Trekkies and Sith Lords to Muggles and Team Jacob (okay, Edward too), this category is dedicated to stories about those who rise above cool — and will probably end up ruling the world!

Makes You Very GLAD(os)

| HI, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Geeks Rule

(I work for a local supermarket chain. We give out reward coupons after customers spend a certain amount that you can use for a number of things. One of these is a special item that changes each week. I notice my next customer is wearing a Portal shirt.)

Me: “Welcome to the Aperture Science [Store] Register. If you successfully finish this transaction and have a reward, there will be cake.”

Customer: *laughs* “The cake is a lie!”

Me: “Not so, sir.” *points to flier* “The reward this week is free cheesecake.”

Customer: *stares* “Seriously?”

Me: “Yup.”

Customer: “Could I… get one right now?”

Me: “If you have a reward, certainly.”

(Customer then proceeded to sprint off to grab a cheesecake and came back exclaiming “The cake’s not a lie!”)

Be Glad It Wasn’t Slartibartfast

| San Antonio, Texas, USA | Books & Reading, Funny Names, Geeks Rule

(My call center doesn’t rely on any script; we just have things we’re required to share with our customers. It gives us the opportunity to be playful and fun in certain situations, or we can be serious and sympathetic in others. The following takes place at the end of the call:)

Me: “Your reference code will be easy to remember if you’re into Douglas Adams. Zerbop.”

Customer: “What was that?”

Me: Zerbop. Zulu, echo, bravo

Customer: “No, I got that. The other part.”

Me: “It sounds like a character Douglas Adams would write about.” *I think to myself that I had horribly misjudged the situation*

Customer: “Oh. Okay.”

Me: “Was that all I could do for you today?”

Customer: “Yes. So long, and thanks for all the fish.” *click*

Not Thinking Outside The Police Box

| Phoenix, AZ, USA | Geeks Rule, Movies & TV

(Our bookstore has its own TARDIS that we use to display Doctor Who and other science fiction books and toys on. The following conversation between one of our booksellers and an indignant customer recently happened:)

Customer: “Why do you have a police box in your store?”

Bookseller: “It’s from the show Doctor Who.”

Customer: *blank look* “I am unfamiliar with that.”

Bookseller: “It’s a British science fiction show.”

Customer: *haughtily* “Aren’t you afraid of the implications?”

Bookseller: “Ma’am?”

Customer: “That you are misleading people. What if someone had an actual emergency and needed to call the police? And all you have this fake police phone box.”

Bookseller: “We have actual telephones. And everyone here could easily dial 911 on their cells.”

Customer: “You’re lying to people.”

Employee: “It’s a British phone box from the 1960s. Even if it worked, all we’d get were British police from the 1960s and they’d have to come a very long way. Or we might get the Doctor.”

Customer: “Who?”

Employee: “Yes.”

Harry Potter And The Amazon Woman

| ID, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Geeks Rule

(I work reference desk at a public library. My desk is right next to the “New Books” display, and among the new books is a copy of “The Secret History of Wonder Woman.” The dust jacket shows Wonder Woman in the process of changing from her alter ego to her superhero form, so she still has her glasses and jacket on, but is also wearing her iconic leotard and crown. A mom and her children are walking by the display when one spots the book.)

Child: “Mom, look! It’s Harry Potter Wonder Woman!”

(I’m also a geek in my off-time, so I’m tempted to cosplay that at my next convention now…)

R2-Dum Too

| LA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Geeks Rule

(It’s a really slow night so I pull a crochet project out of my bag and sit off to the side of the counter in the break area so that I can work on it. A customer walks in and points at it.)

Customer: “What you making?”

Me: “A hat for my boyfriend.”

Customer: “That’s a funny color pattern.”

Me: “Oh, that’s because it’s not finished. When it’s done it’ll look like this.”

(I show him the pattern’s photos, which is for an R2-D2 hat, and he wrinkles his nose.)

Customer: “Is he a kid?”

Me: “No, he’s not.”

Customer: “Is he actually going to wear that thing?”

Me: “Yes, because he specifically asked me to make it for him.”

Customer: *makes a disgusted face* “Ugh! So he’s a geek!”

Me: “Yes, he is. And your point is?”

Customer: *condescendingly* “He’s a nerd.”

Me: “Yes, and so am I. Again: what’s your point?”

Customer: *throws up his hands* “He’s a nerd! A geek!”

(The customer kept saying that over and over again as he picked up the items he had come to purchase. I’ll never understand people that think being geeky/nerdy is a bad thing. At least my boyfriend likes nerdy handmade things he gets.)

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