• A Pain In The Nugget
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  • October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Reached Their Tea Total

    | NY, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    Customer: “Hello. Do you have any tea?”

    Me: “Yes. Caffeinated teas: we have an English breakfast black, an  Earl Grey, and a China green. Herbal: we have mint, hibiscus, peach, and chamomile.”

    Customer: “That’s too overwhelming.” *walks out*

    Comic: To Be, Or Not To Jolibee

    , , | Quezon City | At The Checkout, Comics, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    not always right jollibee

    Read the full story.

    Just Made Her (Mother’s) Day

    | Milford, CT, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Money

    (I am a hostess, and this story happens the Friday before Mother’s Day. I am standing at the register at the entrance to the restaurant when a gentleman in his early 40s who had been dining alone approaches me.)

    Customer: “Do I pay up here?”

    Me: “Oh! No, sir, you pay with your waitress. Let me grab her for you.”

    (I go to the back and bring the waitress up to the front with me.)

    Customer: *to waitress* “So, my bill was $18?”

    Waitress: “Yes. ”

    Customer: “Do you have a family?”

    Waitress: “Uh… yes.”

    Customer: “You have kids?”

    Waitress: “Yes.”

    Customer: “Well, then. This is for my check.” *hands coworker a $20 bill* “… and this is for you.” *hands coworker a $50 bill* “Happy Mother’s Day!”

    (At this point, the customer leaves before the waitress can even say ‘thank you.’)

    Waitress: *to me* “I think I’m gonna cry.”

    Sherlock Hemlock Solves The Case

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names

    (I am the customer in this story. It’s New Year’s Day and my mom’s family has a tradition where one cooks ham hocks and beans for good luck. I’m at the store and can’t find the ham hock.)

    Me: “Excuse me.”

    Employee: “Yes?”

    Me: “Can you tell me where to find the hemlock please?”

    Employee: “What?”

    Me: “The hemlock.”

    Employee: *pause* “What do you need it for?”

    Me: “Oh, my family is coming over today and my mom is going to put it in beans.”

    Employee: “Could you describe it for me?”

    Me: “Um, it’s a part of a pig, attached to the leg—”

    Employee: “Ham hock! Right this way.”

    Has Beef With And In The Grill

    , | Beavercreek, OH, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (A customer walks up to the register with a [Famous-Name Brand] grill.)

    Me: “Is this a return?”

    Customer: “Yes, I bought this two days ago and it does not work.”

    Me: “I’m sorry; do you want a replacement?”

    Customer: “No, I would never buy that product again.”

    (I process the return, apologize to the customer, and he walks away. I go through the grill to process the defective merchandise ticket when I notice a funky odor. I open it up, and there is a steak on the grill. My coworker peers over my shoulder.)

    Coworker: “Free food!”

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