Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Feeling Entitled To Be Untitled

| Saskatoon, SK, Canada | Food & Drink, Language & Words

(One man, probably in his mid-twenties, is sitting with two similarly-aged attractive women.)

Me: “Good afternoon, ladies and gentle sir. My name is [Name] and I’ll be your server today. Can I get you anything to drink while you look at the menus?”

Female #1: “I’ll take a Coke.”

Female #2: “Me, too.”

Me: “Okay. Two Cokes, and… for you, sir?”

Guy: “Don’t call me ‘sir’! I’m too young to be a ‘sir.'”

Me: “Yeah, I know how you feel. Can I get you anything to drink though, s- uh, mister?”

Guy: “Don’t call me mister, either! And I’ll have an iced tea.”

Me: “Okay, okay. Sorry. Two cokes and an iced tea, coming right up.”

(I get the drinks quickly and come back to their table.)

Me: “Right, here we go. Two cokes for the lovely young ladies, and an iced tea for… ah, young master.”

Guy: *buries his face in his arms in shame as the women burst out laughing*

Won’t Like The State Of The Pizza

| Greeley, CO, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Geography

(I am a delivery driver on a delivery, and am unable to find the house that I am looking for, so I call the customer for help.)

Customer: “Hello?”

Me: “Hi. This is the delivery driver in charge of delivering your pizza. Unfortunately, I’m a little stuck. I can’t seem to find your house. Could you verify your address for me?”

Customer: “Yeah, no problem! It’s [address].”

Me: “Okay. Well, that’s the same address that I have and I’m pretty sure I’m in the right place but I don’t see that address.”

Customer: “Oh, it’s pretty hard to see my house at night especially because there are no street light near me. I’ll come outside to meet you.”

(I am thoroughly confused by this because it is only six pm and the sun is still up.)

Me: “Excuse me, but it sounded like you said it was dark out so I wasn’t able to see your house?”

Customer: “Yeah. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you or anything.”

Me: “No, no. That’s not the problem. Could you tell me what city your in?”

Customer: “Um… I’m in Boston, Massachusetts. Where the h*** are you?”

Me: “Sir, you called the [Pizza Shop] in Greeley, Colorado.”

Customer: “Oh… I was wondering why the area code wasn’t normal.”

It’s Off Season

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Customer: “I see that your chicken caesar salads come with either cajun or garlic chicken. I don’t like garlic and I don’t like spice, so can I just get plain chicken?”

Me: “Of course. I’ll let the kitchen know. So, absolutely no seasoning on it?”

Customer: “Yes, thank you.”

Me: *after the customer has received her food* “How is your salad tasting?”

Customer: “It’s fine, but the chicken is a little bland.”

The Rotten Eggs Aren’t The Only Rotten Eggs

| TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I work at a big chain retail store that also has a grocery section. On this day, my store has a power outage that lasts several hours. There’s a generator that keeps lights, necessary systems, and two registers going, but it’s not strong enough to power the refrigerated/frozen section. We block off those aisles and announce over the PA that we will not be able to sell any cold foods. I see a customer ducking the cordon and opening a refrigerator door.)

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am? Because of the power outage, these aisles are closed. We can’t guarantee the cold food is safe to eat anymore.”

Customer: “Yeah, I heard, but I just need some eggs.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we can’t sell those. There’s a [Grocery Store] across the street if you need.”

Customer: “Why would I go there? I’ve already got these. Hey, what the h***? These eggs are all warm!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, because of the power outage. The refrigerators haven’t been working, so all the cold food has thawed. We can’t sell it.”

(The customer drops the egg carton on the floor.)

Customer: “Then why the h*** are they still on the shelf? What kind of sick store would try to sell bad food to people?”

Me: “…that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you, ma’am. We CAN’T sell it. That’s why these aisles are blocked with the ropes and signs saying ‘Do Not Enter.'”

Customer: “That’s it. I’ve had enough of your stupid policies! I’m taking my business to [grocery store across the street]!”

A Latte Attitude

| San Antonio, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(It is the middle of summer with temperatures climbing into the triple digits.)

Me: “Hi! Welcome to [Coffee Shop]. What can I get started for you today?”

Customer: “One large chai tea latte.”

Me: “Alright, no problem. Would you like that hot or iced today?”

(The customer stares at me.)

Customer: “Chai tea latte.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. Iced or hot?”

Customer: “Latte!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. The chai tea latte comes iced or hot, and—”

Customer: “Christ! Latte means hot! Do they teach you nothing?! Just give me my chai latte!”

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