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  • A Caffeinated Christmas Miracle
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  • Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Paying For Their Mistake

    | Albany, NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Movies & TV

    (I work at a fairly well known 50s theme restaurant, where we offer a movie and a meal deal. If you buy an adult entree and drink, then you get a movie ticket for $8. A customer is ordering and asks about the offer.)

    Me: “Just so you know, you do have to order an adult entree for the offer to work.”

    Customer: “Jeez, I know. I want fries and a water, and two kids chocolate shakes, and chicken tenders for them.”

    (I place their order, and when it comes up, I bring it over. They eat it and seem very happy.)

    Customer: “Can I please get my check, and can you get me one of those movie tickets please?”

    Me: “Sorry, ma’am, but since you didn’t get an adult entree and drink, you can’t get a movie ticket for $8.”

    Customer: “I did get an adult drink, water. Kids don’t drink water, and french fries count as an entree in my case.”

    Me: “You have to buy a drink. Water is given out for free. And fries are not an entree. They are an appetizer or side.”

    Customer: “Let me speak to your manager.”

    (The manager comes over. He has observed everything.)

    Customer: “Give me my d*** ticket. She’s stealing from me. She probably did charge me for my ticket, but is being a b**** and refusing to give it to me.”

    Manager: “I can assure you she has not charged you for the ticket because the cash register won’t even allow it to be added unless there is an adult entree and drink. Would you like to order food to go so you can get a ticket?”

    Customer: “What the f***! After such bad service, I am never coming here again!”

    (The customer grabs her two kids, and walks out without paying. A customer who has been watching from the counter area comes over.)

    Customer #2: “Here’s $30 to cover their bill so you don’t have to, and a tip because she didn’t. May I please have my check?”

    (Customer #2 leaves me a sizable tip, and even gives me a compliment. Thank you lady! That check would’ve had to come out my tips!)

    Don’t Have Beef With Hinduism

    , | Kanpur, India | Food & Drink, Religion, Theme Of The Month, Top, Tourists/Travel

    (I’m on a trip to India, and decide to eat at a local McDonald’s. In front of me is a pair of American tourists.)

    Tourist #1: *in very bad Hindi* “Yes, I want a Big Mac.”

    Cashier: “Sir, I understand English, if you would be more comfortable. So you want a Chicken Maharaja Mac?”

    Tourist #2: “I thought you said you knew English? A Big Mac doesn’t have chicken, dumb-a**!”

    (Hoping to speed this along, I decide to get involved.)

    Me: “None of the McDonald’s in India offer beef. The local version of the Big Mac is made using grilled chicken patties instead. It’s actually pretty good.”

    Tourist #1: “Man, who the h*** doesn’t eat beef?”

    Me: “About one billion Hindus, most of them in India.”

    (They both quietly place their orders, all the time mumbling about ‘pandering to locals.’)

    Must Have Coasted Through Her Geography Lessons

    | MA, USA | Food & Drink, Geography, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (It’s important to note this takes place in Massachusetts, on the east coast of the USA.)

    Tourist: “I’d like to get [coffee], and my daughter will have [more complicated coffee].”

    Me: “Okay, that’ll be [amount].”

    Tourist: “Oh, I left my money in my car. I’ll be back.”

    (She leaves, and I am forced to move on to the next customer. Her daughter waits patiently for a good 15-20 minutes. Then her mother returns. She rudely interrupts another customer.)

    Tourist: “Um, excuse me, WHY haven’t you made our drinks yet?!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, there was a line—”

    Tourist: “I was here first! Now make our drinks, and I have to use your bathroom.”

    Me: “I’m sorry; we don’t have a bathroom for customers.”

    Tourist: “WHEN YOU PAY FOR STUFF IN RESTAURANTS IN NEW JERSEY, WHERE I’M FROM, YOU CAN USE THE F***ING BATHROOM! GOD! This is why I NEVER come to the east coast!”

    (The tourist and her daughter depart, much to the dumbfounded disbelief of the customers remaining. I exchange glances with a customer.)

    Me: “…doesn’t she know New Jersey is on the east coast?”

    Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Went

    | NH, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

    (A woman approaches the register, and sets down four half-eaten chocolate bars from our candy aisle.)

    Customer: “I sampled these chocolates, and didn’t like the consistency, so I don’t want them anymore.”

    (The customer starts to walk away.)

    Coworker: “Okay, well I’m sorry about that, but you’re still going to have to pay for these.”

    Customer: “But I didn’t like them!”

    Coworker: “Right, but you can’t just take things without paying. What made you think that would be okay?”

    Customer: “THEY WERE JUST SITTING IN MY CART; WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?!”

    Food For Thoughtless, Part 2

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Top

    (I’m waiting for my food at a popular restaurant that calls your order number, and then puts your food up on a counter so you can grab it.)

    Cook: “Order number [X].”

    (I’m walking, up when a customer runs up and grabs at the food.)

    Customer: “What is this? This isn’t what I ordered!”

    (The customer starts taking the sandwich apart.)

    Customer: “I didn’t order this! What’s this?”

    (The customer starts picking parts of the salad out with her fingers.)

    Customer: “I ordered a roast beef and soup!”

    Cook: “Were you order number [X]?”

    Customer: “No. My order number is [Y].”

    Cook: “Then that’s not your food. That belongs to someone else.”

    Customer: “Well you should have said something!”

    (The customer stomps off. I look at my ripped apart sandwich that someone has just been grabbing.)

    Me: “I’m order number [X]. Sorry, I tried to speak up.”

    Cook: “Don’t worry; I’ll remake that for you. You wouldn’t believe how often this happens.”

    Related:
    Food For Thoughtless

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