Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • God Loves Little Girls Who Stand Up For Others
    (2,375 thumbs up)
  • October Theme Of The Month: Coupon Complications!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    A Super-Brew, Iron Grind, And Served Dark (Knight)

    | QLD, Australia | Food & Drink, Geeks Rule, Theme Of The Month

    (The coffee chain I work at collects money for a children’s charity. Once a month we dress up in costumes; it’s a lot of fun. This month the theme is Superheroes. I’m female, but dressed as Iron Man; there’s also Wonder Woman, Super Girl, and Batgirl.)

    Elderly Customer: “Can you actually fly in that get-up?”

    Me: “Sure can, but it spills the coffees.”

    Male Customer: “Super heroes? Serving coffee? It’s like all my teenage dreams come true! Except for you, Iron Man, cause I don’t swing that way.”

    Regular Customer: “Did you get a second job?”

    Me: “Yep. Saving the world doesn’t pay the bills.”

    Someone Has Had A Bit Too Much Coffee

    | Melbourne, QLD, Australia | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (It’s early in the morning, and so the home-wares store that I work in is pretty quiet at the moment. It is so quiet, that I can hear this customer from the other end of the store as she walks in, getting progressively louder as she approaches me.)

    Customer: “…coffee cups, coffee cups, coffee cups, coffee cups, coffee cups…”

    (Hearing this, I turn around to see a middle aged woman and her 10-year-old son looking at me expectantly, still repeating ‘coffee cups’ as she gets closer.)

    Me: “Um, was there something I can help you with tod—”

    Customer: “…coffee cups, coffee cups, coffee cups…”

    Me: *trying my best to act normal* “Sure… just on the shelf in the corner there.” *points*

    Customer: “Ah! Coffee cups!”

    These Bagels Have A Long Shelf Life

    | Five Towns, NY, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

    (A lot of people like to come into the shop and ask for special favors because of being ‘good customers’. Sometimes the cashier—who is also the owner—gets annoyed.)

    Customer #1: “But we’re good customers!”

    Cashier: “What’s my name?”

    Customer #2: “What?”

    Cashier: “If you’re really good customers, you would know my name.”

    (Customers #1 and #2 look at each other, confused.)

    Customer #2: “Aren’t you Todd?”

    Cashier: “You’re confusing me with my father.”

    Customer #2: “Yes, that’s who we’re used to dealing with. Can we talk to him, please?”

    Cashier: “He died 18 years ago. You must be really good customers.”

    This Is Soda-Pressing

    | Twin Cities, MN, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I’m taking an order for delivery on the phone.)

    Caller: “What kind of soda do you have?”

    Me: “Coke, Diet Coke, Cherry Coke, Mr. Pibb, and root beer.”

    Caller: “Hmm… I’d like a Mountain Dew!”

    Me: “I’m sorry; we don’t have that. We only have Coke, Diet Coke, Cherry Coke, Mr. Pibb, and root beer.”

    Caller: “Well, how about a Sprite then!”

    Me: “We don’t have that either, only Coke, Diet Coke, Cherry Coke, Mr. Pibb, and root beer.”

    Caller: “Oh, Coke then!”

    (The customer then shouts into the background.)

    Caller: “Honey, do you want a soda? They have orange!”

    Paying it Forward Credits Everyone

    | NC, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Money, Top

    (My school’s residence hall is going on a fast-food run. My friend is really hungry, but has no money to go, so I give him all my cash to pay for it, as I intend to pay by debit. Most of the group goes to one specific fast-food place, but I am dropped off first to pick up some Taco Bell.)

    Cashier: “Cash only.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Cashier: “I’m sorry, but the card machine is broken. We can only take cash at this time.”

    (I turn around to see the bus driving off to the other fast-food place.)

    Me: “Darn, I was really craving Taco Bell recently. Guess I’ll wait for the bus to get back.”

    (The only other customer walks up to me.)

    Customer: “Don’t worry. I’ll pay for you.”

    Me: “No, it’s fine; I’ll get picked up and go somewhere else.”

    Customer: “No, it’s fine; I’m paying for you. End of story.”

    (Without hesitating, she pulls out her pocketbook, and pays as I order. When I see my friend, I tell him the story, and tell him he doesn’t owe me a penny.)

    Page 93/252First...9192939495...Last