October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Hard To Drink In This Much Stupid

| Seattle, WA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I am the customer in this story. I’m in a coffee shop and there is a man in front me who has just rattled out a majorly complex iced coffee order with a myriad of flavor sauces, even going so far as to request a layer of whipped cream in the middle of the drink.)

Cashier: “All right, that’ll be [price]. Your order might take a moment.”

Customer: “That’s fine.”

(I order my own coffee, which is just a mocha latte, without whipped cream. The barista finishes my drink first, as it’s much simpler. It’s in a paper cup, as it’s hot, whereas his is being seen prepared in a clear plastic cup, as it’s iced.)

Barista: “Mocha latte for [My Name]!”

(The customer with the long order swoops in before I can grab my drink, swiping it off the counter and taking a sip immediately.)

Customer: “This is perfect! Thank you so much!”

(He then runs out the door before either of us can speak.)

Me: “Did he just..?”

Barista: “… I’ll make you another drink.”

Reached Their Tea Total

| NY, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

Customer: “Hello. Do you have any tea?”

Me: “Yes. Caffeinated teas: we have an English breakfast black, an  Earl Grey, and a China green. Herbal: we have mint, hibiscus, peach, and chamomile.”

Customer: “That’s too overwhelming.” *walks out*

Comic: To Be, Or Not To Jolibee

, , | Quezon City | At The Checkout, Comics, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

not always right jollibee

Read the full story.

Just Made Her (Mother’s) Day

| Milford, CT, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Money

(I am a hostess, and this story happens the Friday before Mother’s Day. I am standing at the register at the entrance to the restaurant when a gentleman in his early 40s who had been dining alone approaches me.)

Customer: “Do I pay up here?”

Me: “Oh! No, sir, you pay with your waitress. Let me grab her for you.”

(I go to the back and bring the waitress up to the front with me.)

Customer: *to waitress* “So, my bill was $18?”

Waitress: “Yes. ”

Customer: “Do you have a family?”

Waitress: “Uh… yes.”

Customer: “You have kids?”

Waitress: “Yes.”

Customer: “Well, then. This is for my check.” *hands coworker a $20 bill* “… and this is for you.” *hands coworker a $50 bill* “Happy Mother’s Day!”

(At this point, the customer leaves before the waitress can even say ‘thank you.’)

Waitress: *to me* “I think I’m gonna cry.”

Sherlock Hemlock Solves The Case

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names

(I am the customer in this story. It’s New Year’s Day and my mom’s family has a tradition where one cooks ham hocks and beans for good luck. I’m at the store and can’t find the ham hock.)

Me: “Excuse me.”

Employee: “Yes?”

Me: “Can you tell me where to find the hemlock please?”

Employee: “What?”

Me: “The hemlock.”

Employee: *pause* “What do you need it for?”

Me: “Oh, my family is coming over today and my mom is going to put it in beans.”

Employee: “Could you describe it for me?”

Me: “Um, it’s a part of a pig, attached to the leg—”

Employee: “Ham hock! Right this way.”

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