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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    The Race(ist) For The Last Chicken

    | Preston, England, UK | Bigotry, Food & Drink

    (I work late shifts, and mark down items to their final reduction.)

    Customer: “Have you not got any more cheap chicken?”

    Me: “No, sir, the lady just over there took our last pack, unfortunately.”

    (I gesture towards a small, lovely, Indian lady, who had come by and picked up some chicken breasts I just marked down.)

    Customer: “I’m not racist, but f****** p**** are always turning up and taking all the good stuff early! You can never stay one step ahead of them d*** foreigners!”

    Me: “Well, we have a first come, first served policy. Regardless of who she is, she was here first.”

    Customer: “Yeah, but you know what I mean! They come over here, and take everything for granted. They do what they f****** like, and take our cheap food! You follow me, don’t ya’?”

    Me: “Well, no, I don’t. Like I said, we have a first come, first served policy. We also have a policy against incendiary language, and I’m going to have to ask you to leave. Here’s a little hint for you; when you say “I’m not racist, but—”, it usually means you’re about to be racist. The exit’s third on the left.”

    A Hot Slice Of Kindness

    | Boston, MA, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

    (I am working at a pizza shop on a busy Friday night. There are about five customers waiting in line. I hand the first customer her slice, and move on.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, I don’t like the slice I ordered. I want a new one.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am; but I can’t just give you another slice.”

    Customer: “But I don’t want this one anymore! I demand to speak to who is in charge. How am I supposed to eat something I don’t like?!”

    (I ask my boss, and he tells me to give her a free slice to avoid an argument. I get the customer a new slice, and am finally able to take care of the other customers. An hour later, my coworker hands me a hot chocolate.)

    Coworker: “Here, this hot chocolate is for you.”

    Me: “Oh, thanks!”

    Coworker: “I didn’t get it; one of the customers who was in here before works at the coffee place. He saw you deal with that difficult customer, so he brought you the hot chocolate for free.”

    (This small act of kindness made my entire night brighter. The next time I see him, he will be getting a free slice of pizza!)

    Her Behavior Is Out Of Order

    | USA | Food & Drink

    (We take all our orders verbally, sometimes faster than we can actually make the sandwiches. Most people just continue down the line after ordering, but some people insist on watching their sandwich get put into the oven. This can cause confusion for them when they don’t realize that we’re taking their order before we’re done with the sandwich before theirs.)

    Customer: “I’ll have a large turkey.”

    Coworker: “White or wheat bread?”

    Customer: “White bread.”

    (At this point, my coworker finishes the sandwich before hers and places it in the oven. It happens to be a small turkey on wheat.)

    Customer: “Oh, my God. How hard can it possibly be?! I asked for a large turkey, and that’s not even white bread! Are you even listening?!”

    Coworker: “I certainly am, ma’am. You wanted a large turkey on white bread. The customer before you happened to want a small turkey on wheat bread. That sandwich is his.”

    (I hold up the large turkey on white bread.)

    Coworker: “This sandwich is yours. I am now putting your sandwich into the oven, after the customer before you.”

    (The customer happened to be accompanied by her daughter, who actually burst into laughter. The woman said nothing through the rest of the line.)

    That Woman Has Some Balls

    | Dickson City, PA, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (My friend and I are at a Chinese buffet.)

    Me: “Hey, do you want to get those fried dough ball things before we go back to the table?”

    My Friend: “Yes! Thank you for the reminder!”

    (We walk over to where they’re located, and see a rather large, middle-aged woman making her way down the line. She’s at the tray of food next to the dough balls, so we stand back and let her finish what she’s doing.)

    My Friend: “I love the dough balls here!”

    (The woman looks up from what she’s doing, and stares at us. She reaches over and takes EVERY DOUGH BALL from the tray and puts them on her plate. She then runs away from the line. There were at least 13 dough balls on the tray.)

    Me: “I… I don’t know what just happened.”

    (A few people around us start to laugh. Thankfully the dough balls were restocked by the time we were done with our first plate of food, and we never ran into that woman again!)

    Peanuts Are High In Irony

    | NJ, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (A man comes in with his son, who looks to be about nine years old.)

    Customer: “Hi, do you guys cook anything in peanut oil? My son has a peanut allergy, and he can’t eat anything with peanuts.”

    Manager: “No, we don’t. He can have everything here except the salad, which has almond in it.”

    Customer’s Son: “Ooh dad, chocolate soda!”

    Customer: “What about the chocolate soda?”

    Manager: “Oh no, he can’t have that.”

    Customer: “Sorry, bud, how about the root beer instead?”

    (He orders their food and while they wait, his phone goes off.)

    Customer’s Phone: “IT’S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME. PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!”

    (He quickly answers it while my coworkers and I are trying not to laugh. He looks a little embarrassed when he hangs up.)

    Customer: “Ha, sorry about that. I guess I should change my ring tone, huh?”

    Me: “No, I loved the irony!”


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