Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Technology That Makes You Cry

Tacoma Area, WA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Technology, Theme Of The Month

(I’m working at the self-checkout area assisting customers when issues arise, such as weight discrepancies, inputting coupons, and just giving general help with the system. One customer has a lot of produce which requires a produce code to be input in order to weigh the items on the scale. One customer is growing increasingly frustrated with the produce look-up feature.)

Customer: *frustrated* “I can’t find where the celery is.”

Me: “You know…” *shows him feature* “you can actually look things up by name, spelling it out, instead of searching by category. It goes much faster that way. As you type in the letters for the name it’ll narrow the choices.”

Customer: “Oh, ok. That is much faster.”

(The customer continues for a few minutes with inputting his produce. It takes him a bit but he’s slowly catching on and learning the system. He stops, stumped, when he can’t find one.)

Customer: “What is this?” *holds up an onion, looking very confused*

Me: “… That would be an onion.”

Customer: “No, I mean the code. I can’t find it.”

Me: *laughing* “Oh! 4665.”

(My coworker starts crying because she was laughing so hard at the onion comment and had to walk away for a minute to lose it. We still laugh about ‘that’s an onion’ to this day.)

Telling Porkies About The Chicken

Kansas City, MO, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

(I work in the meat department of a grocery store. A customer brings back a package of chicken to be exchanged. She does not have her receipt so I need to ensure we actually carry the chicken and also make sure I get the weight correct on her exchange. The chicken is wrapped in tin foil and then again in a plastic shopping bag. You could smell a faint odor when you get near it but as I deal with spoiled meat occasionally, it isn’t a big deal.)

Customer: “I bought this yesterday and it’s spoiled. I just want to exchange it for the same thing.”

Me: “That’s no problem, ma’am. Just let me get the brand and the size for you and I’ll get it.”

Customer: “Oh, I really don’t think you want to open that dear. It’s pretty bad.”

Me: “Be that as it may, I have to open it.”

(Upon opening the initial plastic we discover the tin foil it’s wrapped in. The customer service associate next to me gags and runs from the room. The smell actually makes my throat burn. Nevertheless I have to open it. It’s wrapped in four layers of tin foil and 2 layers of plastic wrap. When I release the last layer of tin foil and can actually see the chicken, it actually makes a ‘burp’ sound as the gas is released. The chicken is green, like pea soup color. I cannot read the label, for all the slime, to see when the expiration date was.)

Customer: “See, I told you! It’s awful! Wrap it back up, for goodness sake!”

Me: “Ma’am, when did you say you bought this package?”

Customer: “Yesterday morning. I was going to cook it for supper last night.”

Me: “And it looked like that when you bought it?”

Customer: “No, of course not. Who would buy chicken that looked like that!”

Me: “I’m going to have to get my manager.”

(My manager comes over and opens the chicken very briefly. He asks the same questions and gets the same answers.)

Manager: “Ma’am, it’s 104 degrees outside. Did you, by chance, buy this a few days ago and leave it in your car?”

Customer: ” Absolutely not! I bought it yesterday and I want another package of chicken! Now hurry up. I have things to do.”

Manager: “I’m sorry; I can’t exchange this. There is no way this went bad in your refrigerator overnight. In fact, I think you could have left it on your counter and it wouldn’t smell this bad.”

(After arguing about it for another 20 minutes the customer picked up the package and threw it on the ground. It exploded green chicken slime which landed on the computers and registers nearby, and all over me, my manager, and the customers waiting in line, including a small child. Two customers actually vomited. I was forced to clean the mess. The real sting in the tale is that the customer with the child sued the store and won a $20,000 settlement.)

Their Team Aren’t On A (Tootsie) Roll

| NC, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

(I’m volunteering at a college basketball game. A fellow volunteer and I are tasked with checking bags at the pre-game party for donors to an alumni organization. Many of the people attending this party are older and attend every single game, so they know the drill. Bags are searched to prevent people from bringing in alcohol or outside food.)

Me: “Hello. Can I check your bag?”

Customer: “Sure, hon.” *she holds her purse open for me*

Me: “Could you pull that out for me, please?”

(I indicate what looks to be a ziplock bag, as it is underneath a few of her items and I cannot see what is in it.)

Customer: “Alrighty.”

(The customer pulls out the bag, which I can now see contains several Tootsie Rolls.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to leave that here. We don’t allow any outside food.”

Customer: “But I have to bring them in! It’s tradition!”

Me: “I apologize, but you have to leave them here.”

Customer: “You don’t understand! I’m bringing them for my friend. He passes them out every time at halftime to make sure [Home Team] wins!”

Me: “Sorry, but I can’t let you take them in. It’s the stadium’s policy.”

Customer: “Well, then, if [Home Team] loses it’ll be all your fault!”

Me: *doing my very best to remain serious* “I guess I’ll have to take that risk.”

(Her team did lose. The group I volunteer with jokingly threatened to make me apologize to the players.)

Not The Cream Of The Crop, Part 2

, | USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(One very early morning, I have just made a customer a hot mocha.)

Customer: “Um, I think there’s something wrong with my drink. It’s really cold. It’s not even lukewarm!”

Me: “I’m so sorry! Maybe I hit the iced button by accident. Let me remake that for you.”

(I proceed to remake the drink, being extra careful to make it perfectly.)

Me: “All done! Again, sorry about that.”

(The customer takes a tiny sip and slams the cup back on the counter.)

Customer: “It’s still cold!”

Me: “Sir… that was the whipped cream. Your coffee is underneath it.”

Related:
Not The Cream Of The Crop

They’re Magically Cannibalicious!

| Northern Ireland, UK | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Money

(I work in a small store in Northern Ireland where we sell some American imports but for quite a bit more expensive prices.)

Me: “That’ll be £6.95, ma’am.”

Customer: “How dare you try to scam your customers?!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Selling Lucky Charms for seven dollars? That is preposterous. At home they are only two dollars in Target.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, we do have to import them… This IS Northern Ireland.”

Customer: “This is part of Ireland?”

Me: “I guess you could say that.”

Customer: “I’m so sorry! I didn’t think about how I might be offending you! Don’t worry this cereal isn’t really leprechauns. We wouldn’t eat your relatives!” *pays and leaves without cereal*

(My manager got a call later that night saying that the cereal was for me and that she was very sorry for ‘acting like some sort of cannibal.’)

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