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  • November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    The Right Wine Or The White Wine

    | Cincinnati, OH, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I work in the wine department of a small grocery store. We will sometimes get customers with very little wine knowledge.)

    Customer: *holding up a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon, a red wine* “Is this a white wine?”

    Me: “That’s a red wine, ma’am.”

    Customer: “So, it’s a white wine?”

    Me: “No, that is a red wine.”

    Customer:” So, it’s a white wine?”

    Me: “No, ma’am, all Cabernet Sauvignon wines are RED wines.”

    (Customer turned and headed to our registers, with the bottle of Cabernet. I hope she did not need a white wine.)

    Talking At-At Cross Purposes

    | Austin, TX, USA | Awesome Workers, Food & Drink, Geeks Rule, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at a chain Italian restaurant. I am often asked questions about the menu, but every now and then a customer asks a question that catches me off guard.)

    Customer #1: “No, it’s definitely an AT-AT!”

    Customer #2: “No, it’s an AT-LT!”

    Customer #1: “Ask our waiter. I bet you his tip.”

    (By this point, I have been overhearing this conversation, and the nerd inside me is intrigued by Star Wars trivia.)

    Me: “Can I help you guys with something?”

    Customer #1: “Yeah, my boyfriend here thinks that the robot in star wars that walks on two legs with the little dogs is called the AT-LT. Please tell him it’s an AT-AT?”

    Me: “Actually, I’m sorry but both of you are incorrect; the vehicle you’re thinking of is the AT-ST, which is premiered in the Battle for Hoth, the ice planet, but is actually featured in the Battle of Endor. In fact, that’s what Chewbacca uses to blow the blast doors open for Han Solo and Princess Leia. And the dogs are called Ewoks and they’re native to Endor.”

    Customer #1: “Oh… thanks.”

    (I ended up walking away and since they each bet $20, I actually earned $40. That’s the first time my nerd knowledge actually gained me that much money. May the Force be with you!)

    Making A Fuss Over Small Fry

    , | CT, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I work at a fast food restaurant. We currently have a seafood special that comes with fries and a biscuit.)

    Customer: “Do you have one that comes without fries and a biscuit?”

    Me: “Yes, we do.”

    Customer: “How much would that be?”

    (I give her the price, plus tax.)

    Customer: “Okay, I’ll take that. How much does a drink cost?”

    Me: “A dollar.”

    Customer: “So I’ll take that and a drink.”

    (I ring up her order, making sure that she wants it without the fries and biscuit, to which she says yes. I assemble her order and give it to her. She’s not even away from the counter when she starts complaining.)

    Customer: “This is all I get?”

    Me: “Yes, you get eight pieces.”

    Customer: “That’s ridiculous! I paid five dollars for this?”

    (Her total was five dollars and change because of the one dollar drink.)

    Me: “I’m sorry. That’s how it comes.”

    Customer: “That’s ridiculous.”

    (At this point she spots my manager, who comes over to assist.)

    Customer: “It’s ridiculous that I just paid five dollars for this little bit of food!”

    Manager: “Can I see your receipt? The food was $3.99 and the drink was a dollar, plus tax.”

    Customer: “Oh, well, that’s still ridiculous.”

    Manager: “Would you like the fries and a biscuit?”

    Customer: “Yes, I think I would like that.”

    (At this point, I open my mouth, ready to interject that she specifically asked for no fries and no biscuit, just the eight pieces of seafood. But I don’t.)

    Manager: “If you give me one more dollar, you can get the fries and biscuit.”

    (She hands over the dollar and my manager tells me to serve the fries and biscuit. Once I’m finished, I give it to her.)

    Customer: “Thank you! God, that was ridiculous!”

    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 12

    | Austin, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

    Customer: “I’ll have the melt, please.”

    Me: “Okay! Would you like it toasted?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “Would you like the bacon heated up?”

    Customer: “No, I don’t want bacon.”

    Me: “Oh, well, in that case I—”

    Customer: “Wait, how do you normally do the melt?”

    Me: “Well, since you don’t want bacon it’s—”

    Customer: *irritated* “No, no, no. Just forget about the bacon. How do you normally do it?”

    Me: “Um… put it in the toaster, but—”

    Customer: “Then put it in the toaster!”

    (Giving up on him listening to me, I comply.)

    Customer: *to next customer in line* “You’d think they don’t speak English here.”

    (The funny part is that I was trying to tell him that without bacon, his sandwich became a different kind, which was a dollar cheaper. Since he decided to be a jerk and cut me off, he probably told the cashier he’d gotten a melt, and paid for bacon that he never got!)

    From NotAlwaysRomantic
    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 11
    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 10
    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 9
    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 8
    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 7
    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 6
    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 5
    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 4
    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 3
    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 2
    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility

    Re-Fill You With Joy

    | Avon, IN, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (It’s the middle of the day, during a down-hour between movies, so my coworker and I have nothing really to do. A little girl comes up to my counter.)

    Girl: “Excuse me, but can I have a refill?” *holds up a kids meal, so no refill*

    Me: “I’m sorry, sweetie, but I’m afraid not.”

    Girl: “Oh. Okay!”

    (She runs off. I laugh a little on how cute she Is. A few moments later, the little girl shows up again.)

    Girl: “Does this get a refill?” *holds up a medium bag of popcorn, but only large items get refills*

    Me: *grimace in having to tell her bad news again* “Sorry, sweetie. Only large bags.”

    Girl: “Oh… How much is a large bag?”

    Me: “It’s [price].”

    Girl: “Okay!”

    (She leaves again. I turn back to my coworker.)

    Me: “If she comes back a third time, I giving her a refill. She’s so cute.”

    Coworker: “I know. I don’t know how you could say no to her.”

    Girl: “Excuse me, is this enough money?” *lifts her hand over to get us*

    Me: *barely glances over it* “Yep! Would you like butter with that, miss?”

    Girl: “Lots of butter!”

    (My coworker hands her the popcorn, and the girl is vibrating in excitement.)

    Girl: “Does this get refills?”

    Me: “Yep, it sure does!”

    (She runs off to her theater, screaming ‘YAAAAY!’)