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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Blind To Change

    | Charleston, SC, USA | Food & Drink, Money

    (Part of my job as a hostess is to stand out front and try to convince tourists to eat at our restaurant. Most nights a server or two will hang out there with me. Across the street we have metered parking, but that’s free after 6pm. A server and I are watching a man put change in the meter at 8pm.)

    Server: “Sir! You don’t need to feed that; it’s free after six.”

    Patron: “You don’t know that.”

    Server: “Well, yes sir, I do. You don’t need to bother with that anymore.”

    Patron: “No! I have to go to dinner, so I’m sure to be gone for the next hour and a half! I don’t want a ticket!”

    (The server gives up.)

    Server: “Understandable. Have a good meal, sir.”

    (About two hours later, rotation has me standing back outside. This time I’m alone. The same man returns to his car.)

    Patron: “I just found out there was no need for me to pay this meter after six. That would have been nice to know two hours ago!”

    Me: “Sir, I was outside when my coworker told you there was no need to feed the meter.”

    Patron: “That’s just not true. I wouldn’t have paid if someone told me not to. You should really inform people of that.”

    Me: “I’m very sorry, sir. Have a good night.”

    Patron: “Would’ve been better if I hadn’t stuffed all my change into this stupid meter!”

    A Lack Of Water Can Put You In A Real Pickle

    | NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Top

    (We currently have a 50% sale on our store water bottles. It is late in the day, and we have sold out. I am currently organizing the shelves with jars of pickles.)

    Customer: “Hi, I would like to know where the cases of your store water bottles are. I can’t seem to find them anywhere.”

    Me: “I am really sorry, but because of the sale we have unfortunately sold out of the water bottles. We should be getting more in tomorrow when the delivery truck comes in.”

    Customer: “What!? How can you be out of water! I want the water!”

    Me: “I am really sorry. Today is the last day of the sale, so many people came in to get them. You can go to customer service, and they will issue you a rain check. You can come back tomorrow and still get the sale.”

    Customer: “No! I don’t want a rain check! I want my d*** water now! I know you have them in the back stock somewhere! Stop being a lazy a**, and get me some water!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I really am very sorry. We are completely out of water at the moment. If you came in a little earlier, we may have had some. It is almost the end of the day, and our other customers wanted to get the sale. The most we can do for you now is issue a rain check. You will just have to come back tomorrow. If you like, I can have a few cases held at the customer service desk for. They will be ready for you tomorrow.”

    Customer: “This is absolutely ridiculous! I want my d*** water now! Not tomorrow! NOW!”

    (Just as my manager is about to approach us after hearing the yelling, the customer takes her arm across the pickle shelf, and smashes about 12 jars of pickles to the ground. I am completely shocked and dumbfounded.)

    Customer: “There! That’s what you get for being a lazy a**, and not getting me my d*** water! I want my d*** water!”

    Manager: “Ma’am! There is absolutely no reason for you to damage our merchandise and put my employee’s safety at risk. You could have seriously cut someone with all of this glass!”

    Customer: “Well maybe if your lazy a** employees would do their jobs I wouldn’t have had to do that!”

    Manager: “Like my employee nicely told you, we are out of the water bottles. We are getting a shipment tomorrow. She was even willing to go out of her way to make sure to keep a case for you aside when we got them in. But, since you decided to take things into your own hands, you are no longer welcome in this store.”

    Customer: “I am the customer! You can’t do that! Give me my water!”

    Manager: “Well too bad; I just did!”

    (My manager calls security, and threatens to call the police if the customer doesn’t pay for all of the pickles. My manager then has her banned from the store without her water. I smelled like pickles for the rest of the night!)

    Obama Is On A Roll

    | VA, USA | Food & Drink, Politics, Top

    Me: “May I offer you a basket of bread?”

    Customer: “Yeah, do you think I can have a basket of just the rolls?”

    Me: “Absolutely! I’ll be right back—”

    Customer: “You know I bet 99.9% of people who walk in here only want the rolls. Am I right? Why do you even bother carrying the other bread?”

    Me: “Well, sir, actually a lot of people like the other bread. Some people even request baskets with no rolls!”

    (The customer is all of a sudden very worked up.)

    Customer: “Well, I bet those people are people who voted for Obama!”

    Me: “I really wouldn’t know, sir.”

    Customer: “Well you could probably just tell by looking at them!”

    Me: “Sir, I really have no idea what people’s political leanings are based on their bread preferences.”

    Customer: “Whatever…”

    Has A Problem With The Sand Part Of Sandwiches

    | TX, USA | Bigotry, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (I am working the weekend shift in a popular fast food sandwich chain with an older gentleman of Middle-Eastern decent. He is the nicest guy you’ll ever meet. A customer and his buddies come into the store. I am busy in the back prepping bread and cookies, so my coworker goes out to help them. When I come out I hear shouting.)

    Customer: “I SAID, AIN’T THERE ANYBODY ELSE BACK THERE THAT CAN HELP ME?! I DON’T WANT TO BE SERVED BY THIS SAND-N*****!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. What seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “The problem is this d*** sand-n*****! I ain’t gonna stand here and let him touch my food!”

    Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way, sir. However, I can’t stand here and let you speak to a fellow employee that way. [Coworker] is a stand-up guy, and doesn’t deserve to be treated the way you are treating him. Please calm down and let us do our job.”

    Customer: “Well I don’t give a d*** what you think! I don’t want him serving me, so you’re gonna.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I will not. I have the right to refuse service to those that I feel are being abusive. I’d like you to leave the store right now.”

    Customer: “I WANT TO SEE A MANAGER RIGHT NOW!”

    Me: “Well, my manager is off at another store right now. If you’d like to go across town to the other store, you are more than welcome to speak with her. I’m sure you’ll find, though, that she’ll agree with me. Please leave right now, and never come back.”

    Customer: “I don’t want your stupid food anyway. F*** you guys!”

    (About 20 minutes later, my manager calls me from the other store. She tells me about an irate customer who came in and complained that he was kicked out from my store. When he explained why, she told me she kicked him out of there, too. Thankfully, I never saw him in the store again.)

    That Would Not Be A Happy Meal

    , | San Diego, CA, USA | Food & Drink, Rude & Risque, Top

    (Everyone in the kitchen wears headsets to hear the drive-thru. This is so we can make the order while the customer is ordering.)

    Me: “Hey, how are you today?”

    Customer: “Just a sec… s***!”

    Me: *deadpan* “I’m sorry, sir; we don’t serve that here.”

    (The entire kitchen erupts in laughter.)

    Customer: *also laughing* “If I wanted that, I’d go to [competitor]!”


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