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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Wasting Quality Time On Quality Food

    | Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (My sister and I are in line at a popular fry and poutine joint. We are at the front of the line, but haven’t quite decided what we want yet. There is a customer behind us, so we tell her to go ahead if she knows what she wants. The following exchange ensues.)

    Cashier: “Hello. What can I get for you tonight?”

    Customer: “What is on your bacon poutine?”

    Cashier: “Um, bacon, cheese curd, and gravy.”

    Customer: “What about the pulled pork poutine?”

    Cashier: *motions to the board behind him where every menu item is listed with

    ingredients* “Pulled pork. Cheese curd. Gravy.”

    Customer: “And the Phillie cheesesteak poutine?”

    (She continued to go through all 20 menu items. Eventually the cashier just turned around and read off the board as blatantly as he could. Entire transaction time: 17 minutes.)

    Sharing A Story About Not Sharing

    | CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

    (A coworker is offering macaroons at work. He had never had them before but had bought a whole lot of them, and we get to hear the story of why he had bought them.)

    Coworker: “There’s a cake shop near my house. I go there all the time, and there’s a regular customer I see there who is really mean. That day she said she was going to buy some macaroons and not share any with her grandkids. I was ahead of her in line, so when it was my turn, I said ‘I’d like to buy all your macaroons!.’”

    No Meat In Their Brain, Part 2

    | San Diego, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Hotels & Lodging

    (I work in a hotel lounge where only exclusive hotel members have access. In the evening we serve appetizers. A man who is a vegetarian is staying and asks for vegetarian food everyday. The day I did have it, he didn’t take any so I saved him a bit for the next night.)

    Guest: “Do you have any vegetarian food tonight?”

    Me: “No, but I saved some pasta from last night for you.”

    Guest: “Beef?”

    Me: “No, no beef. It’s the one I told you about last night.”

    Guest: “The one with beef?”

    Me: “It doesn’t have beef. It’s the vegetarian pasta from last night.”

    Guest: “Oh yeah! From last night! It has… a little… little bit of beef?”

    Me: “No beef. It’s vegetarian.”

    Guest: “Not vegetarian?”

    Me: “It IS vegetarian.”

    Guest: “So, no meat?”

    Me: “…no meat, sir.”

    To Put It Plainly

    , | IN, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words

    (I am ordering a cheeseburger combo meal at a fast food place.)

    Cashier: “And what do you want on it?”

    Me: “Uh, everything except the tomatoes, onion… Wait, let me rephrase that. Just the cheese and meat.”

    Cashier: “So… plain?”

    Me: *embarrassed* “Yeah, I guess that would’ve been easier to say!”

    (Thanks for putting up with me, fast food worker!)

    Screaming Until They’re Blue In The Face

    , | AB, Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (It’s about 6:45 on a slow-ish night working in fast food. We’re selling a popular promotional burger which includes blue cheese. Suddenly, I see a red faced customer storming towards the door, obviously furious. As store policy, I find the nearest supervisor to deal with an obviously irate customer. I hide in the mug room to watch.)

    Supervisor: “Hi. Welcome to…”

    Customer: “ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?”

    Supervisor: “No ma’am. What seems to be—”

    Customer: *pulls half eaten blue cheese burger out of bag* “HOW DARE YOU FEED YOUR CUSTOMERS THIS! THIS BLUE CHEESE IS EXPIRED AND MOLDY!”

    (At this point I can hear laughter from the kitchen, who can hear every word.)

    Supervisor: “Ma’am, this is a blue cheese burger. Perhaps you were given it by mist—”

    Customer: “I KNOW WHAT A D*** BLUE CHEESE BURGER IS!”

    Supervisor: “Then you understand that it is an aged cheese, where this ‘mold’ is normal. I will happily return your money to you if you wish, however.”

    Customer: “HOW DARE YOU LIE TO ME! I’VE EATEN BLUE CHEESE ALL MY LIFE AND I HAVE NEVER ENCOUNTERED MOLD!”

    (My supervisor, obviously getting annoyed, gives the customer her refund.)

    Supervisor: “Here is your refund. However, if you can find me blue cheese in the local supermarket that doesn’t have or taste ‘moldy,’ I will gladly give you every cent I have in this cash register.”

    (I see the customer’s eyes gleam right before she storms out. She never does come back. )

    Supervisor: *to me* “Go write ‘customer found mold in their blue cheese’ in the complaint book.”


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