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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergy’s, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Good Things Come To Those Who Wait On

    | England, UK | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Wild & Unruly

    (It is my first ever shift at my first ever job. The restaurant I work in is known as a ‘Halfway Point’ as we’re between two towns. We get a lot of tourists and that night have been busy. I’d just given a customer his meal.)

    Me: “Here we are, sir. One [Meal] for yourself and a [Meal] for the lovely lady! Is there anything else I can help you with?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I wanna know why it’s taken 40 f****** minutes for my meal to get here!”

    (Note: Even though I had only just started, I knew there hadn’t been more than a 15-minute wait for meals, and with 68 tables full that was very fast.)

    Me: *a little frightened, but trying to stay calm* “I- I’m very sorry for your wait, sir. I hope you understand we’re very busy. I- I’ll even s-see if I can get you both a free drink to make up for wait.”

    Customer: “I don’t give a s*** about that. I want to know why you’re so f****** useless, you f****** b****! Look at you. You’re a f****** w****! Take my order right next time, c***!”

    Me: “I- I’m very s-sorry, s-sir. I’ll b-be r-right back with my m-manager for you!”

    (At this point I run into the kitchen and staff area crying from the string of abuse I’d just been given. Luckily, my manager and my brother, also on shift with me, both see me, and after a quick explanation they nod and tell me to join them with the customer. We all walk to the customer’s table.)

    Manager: “Hello, sir. I’m going to have to ask you to pay and leave my restaurant immediately.”

    Customer: “What!? I haven’t even eaten yet! Your staff made me wait nearly an hour for my order. It’s cold!”

    Manager: “I am aware you haven’t eaten yet, sir, and your food is most certainly not cold as there was barely even a 15 minute wait on food. I will not tolerate you abusing my staff, who also happens to be the younger sister of this gentleman here.” *points to my brother*

    Brother: *smiling and folding his arms* “We both know you wouldn’t like the option of you refusing to pay, sir. Also, you made her cry. She started this very job only 10 minutes before serving you, so I recommend you do as [Manager] asks!”

    (Thankfully, the customer quickly abandons his meal, pays up, and drags his girlfriend out with him! Later, the customer’s girlfriend comes back in.)

    Customer’s Girlfriend: *walks up to my brother at the bar* “Hi, I was in here earlier. I wanted to apologise for my boyfriend’s behaviour earlier.”

    Brother: “Thank you very much. [My Name] will feel a lot better hearing that later. She has Asperger’s and taking this job is a very big step for her. She can take things as personal attacks.”

    Customer’s Girlfriend: “I’m so sorry! Please tell her he ended up walking home after tonight! Please give her a big hug from me!”

    (The best part? The customer’s girlfriend insisted on giving a £50 tip! I shared it between all my coworkers and we ended up having a nice dinner after close and a drink each! I left that job a couple of months later after fracturing a hip but continue to be a regular there. I usually buy them all a round of drinks for helping me get through that first night!)

    Getting A Man-Handle On Your Words

    | Flagstaff, AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Language & Words, Rude & Risque

    (I am a woman, and I am cashiering at a grocery store that is conducting a charitable fund drive. I am packing a chatty man’s groceries into his backpack.)

    Man: “Look at how you just get that all in there! You’re really man-handling that stuff!”

    Me: *packing the last two things, which are pieces of fruit* “Oh, but I don’t want to man-handle your peaches.”

    Man: “I don’t want to man-handle your peaches.”

    (I splutter and stare at this, torn between outrage and hilarity.)

    Man: “I’m sorry.” *as if to himself* “Get your mind out of the gutter.”

    Me: “To make it up to me, you will donate to our fundraiser.”

    Man: “Deal.”

    A Job Well Done

    | CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    Customer: “I’ll have the skirt steak.”

    Me: “Okay, and how would you like that cooked?”

    Customer: “Medium rare, of course! How else are steaks supposed to be cooked?”

    (The chefs at the restaurant are well trained, and the steak comes out perfectly medium rare. I bring it to the customer.)

    Customer: “Excuse me! This is raw! Don’t they know how to cook a steak back there?”

    Me: Sorry, sir. I’ll send it back and refire it.”

    (I bring it back well done.)

    Customer: “Thank you! Now that is a FINE steak!”

    Came To Within An Inch Of Getting It Right

    , | PA, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words, Rude & Risque

    (After working late shifts at the local discount retailer, I pull into a fast-food drive thru.)

    Drive Thru Worker: “Welcome to [Restaurant], may I take your order?”

    Me: “Hi, I’d like a six-inch nugget please.”

    (There are a couple seconds of silence, and then I hear the speaker turn on and I hear some laughter and giggles in the background.)

    Drive Thru Worker: *barely able to speak without giggling* “Uh… Could you repeat your order?”

    Me: “I’d like a six-inch nug— OH MY GOD! No! I want a SIX-PIECE nugget!”

    (I complete my order and pull around to see the worker and two of his coworkers red-faced and trying to contain their laughter. In the mean time, I’m no better; my face was red with embarrassment. I pay and get my food, and I couldn’t have gotten out of that queue fast enough! I guess I subconsciously wanted to go to the sub shop that night.)

    The Definition Of Cold Is Too Hot To Handle

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (It’s about 15 minutes before closing time, and so we have very little hot food left. We do however, continue to sell cold items for customers to take home and cook for themselves.)

    Customer: “Do you have any chicken pies still hot?”

    Me: “Sorry, mate. We’ve sold out of the chicken pies. I’ve still got some cold ones in the fridge though.”

    Customer: “Cold? Like, how cold?”

    Me: “As in refrigerated. They’re not frozen, just cold. Uncooked.”

    Customer: “Ah, okay. I’ll grab one of those thanks.”

    Me: “Sure, that’ll be [price].” *I get the customer his pie*

    Customer: “Ugh! So this is really cold! Can you heat this up for me?”

    Me: “Sorry, I can’t.”

    Customer: “Just real quick, in the microwave?”

    Me: “Sorry. Like I said, the cold pies are uncooked. It needs to be cooked in an oven.”

    Customer: “Oh. Well, I don’t want this one, then. When you said ‘cold’ I thought you meant, like, ‘sort of warm.’”


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