• A Pain In The Nugget
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  • October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Labelled As A Liar

    | USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (I work in a popular smoothie shop. We normally don’t have a lot of problems with customers who have food allergies, but today a woman and her son come in who seem to be difficult to please.)

    Me: “Hi, welcome to [Smoothie Shop]. How are you doing today?”

    Customer: “Fine.”

    Me: “What can I get for you today?”

    (In an all of a sudden rude tone:)

    Customer: “MY KID IS PB FREE!” *yes, she says ‘PB’ instead of peanut butter*

    Me: “No problem. I will be happy to clean all our appliances and use our peanut butter free blender.”

    Customer: “Ok, fine. I’ll have [Popular Drink].”

    Me: “Perfect. Your total is $4.99.”

    (She hands me cash and I proceed to make her drink. I grab a blender from the back that is never exposed to any of our other products. As I’m making her drink she yells.)

    Customer: “THAT’S NOT PB FREE!”

    (I try to assure her it is.)

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, it is. Although it isn’t labelled it is a peanut butter free blender.”


    (She causes a horrible commotion, and continues to yell at me, telling me that I’m incompetent. So I run to the back, get our label maker that we make name tags with, and label the same exact blender PB Free. I come back, show her the blender, and proceed to make her drink.)

    Customer: “Finally! You understand my son’s needs.”

    (I give her the drink and tell her to have a nice day.)

    Son: “Mom, but I’m not even allergic to—”

    Customer: “SHUT UP!”

    Wining And Whining

    | Scottsdale, AZ, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (This is my third day at this job and I am still in training, out stocking the floor and familiarizing myself with the layout. Adjacent to the bakery is the wine section.)

    Woman: *approaches me* “Hello, I’d like some help with choosing a wine?”

    Me: “Wine?” *notices* “Oh, that. Well, unfortunately, I don’t know anything about wine.”

    Woman: “What? You do work here, right?”

    Me: “Well, yes, but I’ve just started and wine isn’t my section.”

    Woman: “How can you not know your own store?!”

    Me: “Miss, this is my third day. I haven’t even shopped here before!”

    Woman: “I don’t care HOW new you are; you should learn things!” *storms off*

    (I was three syllables from telling her that I have a friend who works here as well and went to culinary school, took classes in wine, and could help her out, but she left too quickly.)

    Not Very Cagey About Their Drinking

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

    (A woman has come in looking for a hamster for her seven-year-old daughter’s birthday the next day. I’ve gone over the basic care instructions and all that’s left is to pick out the cage.)

    Me: “Okay, so the dwarf hamster is pretty small, and any of these cages will be big enough. I would recommend this one, since it comes with food, bedding, food dish and a water bottle.”

    Customer: “Which one is the easiest to put together? I’m gonna be pretty drunk tonight when I set this thing up.”

    Me: “…Let me show you the pre-assembled cages.”

    The Hannibal Special

    | VT, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names

    (I work for food service at a hospital.)

    Customer: “I would like the human plate.”

    Me: *pauses a moment thinking this over* “Did you mean hummus plate?”

    Customer: “No I mean the human plate.”

    Me: “Okay…” *sent the hummus plate*

    Taste Of Your Own Fast Acting Medicine

    | NC, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Language & Words

    Customer: “I want a number-one-medium-with-a-coke-and-a-large-frosty-with-a-kids-meal-chicken-nuggets-and-apple-slices-and-orange-juice—”

    Me: “M—”

    Customer: “—also-a-number-seven-with-a-diet-coke-large-and-an-apple-salad.”

    (Fortunately I am able to type all of that in and keep up with her despite that and speak it back to her just as fast as she had said it.)

    Me: Okay…so you want a number-one-medium-with-a-coke-and-a-large-frosty-with-a-kids-meal-chicken-nuggets-and-apple-slices-and-orange-juicealso-a-number-seven-with-a-diet-coke-large-and-an-apple-salad?”

    Customer: “Wait… what?”

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